soccer Page 122 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Yawn, Another Ronaldo Hat Trick
Ho hum. Cristiano Ronaldo and Real played Espanyol (who are two points above the relegation zone) at the Bernabéu, and would you believe it, they kicked the shit out of them. Ronaldo had a hat trick and James was pinging in dangerous balls over the top all game. Here’s the best Ronaldo goal....
John Terry, Clearly Terrified Of Matt Miazga, Is Leaving Chelsea
John Terry is jumping ship from Chelsea this summer after his contract is up. He told reporters after Chelsea’s win over MK Dons in the FA Cup that he’d be taking off from the club he’d been a part of since 1995. Here’s what he said, as transcribed by the BBC:...
46-Year-Old Goalkeeping Coach Forced To Play, Holds Opponents Scoreless
Barry Richardson has enjoyed a long, meandering career as a goalkeeper across the English soccer pyramid. He played most of his career for Lincoln City and Northampton Town in the early and mid-90's, and hasn’t played a league game since 2002 or any game since 2005. Richardson signed on with League ...
Chris Martin's Masterful Assist Sets Up Equalizer For Derby County
Manchester United is even 1-1 with Championship side Derby County at the half of their FA Cup match after George Thorne found the net courtesy a gorgeous over-the-top pass from Chris Martin....
Joe Hart's Tremendous Save Brings Russell Brand To His Feet In Anguish
Man City keeper Joe Hart kept his side even with West Ham United with a brilliant save of a Dimitry Payet free kick that brought anguish to the supporters at Upton Park—especially Russell Brand, in attendance with pal Noel Gallagher. Depending on whether you think Brand is an asshole or if you think...
Dele Alli Wondergoal Puts Spurs Up 2-1 On Crystal Palace
Is this the goal of the season? It might be, as Dele Alli scored an absolutely incredible golazo that has us searching for words....
Messi The Magician Gives Barça The Lead With Gorgeous Volley
Barcelona found themselves in a real battle today at Málaga, but it was the hero himself, Lionel Messi, who once again came through in the clutch as the Argentine brought Ray Hudson to yet another orgasmic climax with an unstoppable volley....
Jordan Morris Joining MLS Is A Good Thing, For Now
It took a rule change, a tense few days worrying whether he’d make his professional career announcement wearing a different shade of green, and probably more than a little soul-searching, but MLS has landed its man. Jordan Morris has officially signed with the Seattle Sounders after rejecting an off...
Read The Leaked Transfer Agreement Between Manchester United And Monaco For Anthony Martial
Manchester United paid Monaco €50 million ($54.5 million) in September for teenage striking sensation Anthony Martial, a fee that will almost assuredly rise to €70 million ($76.2 million) and could rise to €80 million ($87.1 million) in the next few years. This in the neighborhood of what was report...
It's Jonjo Shelvey's Time To Shine
Jonjo Shelvey has been on the verge of breaking out for five years. He played for every English youth international team, and was plucked from Charlton Athletic by Liverpool at 18. After a highly successful loan spell he began to make regular appearances in the squad, and his resemblance to club leg...
John Terry Goal In 98th Minute Saves Miracle Point For Chelsea
After Everton took a 3-2 lead over Chelsea in the 90th minute, it looked like the Toffees had their first win at Stamford Bridge since 1994. But it wasn’t to be, as (an offside) John Terry redeemed his earlier own goal and scored in what can only be described as the stoppage time of stoppage time. I...
Kevin Gameiro Half-Volley Set Up By Massive Pass
What’s more impressive about this goal that opened Sevilla’s scoring on Málaga today: the Adil Rami pass, or Kevin Gameiro’s finish? We’re fond of both parts....
Kevin Mirallas Finishes Off Gorgeous Play To Give Everton 2-0 Road Lead On Chelsea
After a John Terry own goal gave Everton a 1-0 lead at Stamford Bridge, the Toffees scored one for themselves on a terrific half-volley from Kevin Mirallas off a, perhaps, sub-optimal cross by Leighton Baines. No matter; it only allowed Mirallas the opportunity to show up marvelous control....
James Ward-Prowse Opens Scoring With Free Kick Stunner
Southampton took an early 1-0 lead on West Brom with a fifth-minute free kick from James Ward-Prowse that Boaz Myhill found absolutely unstoppable....
Hatem Ben Arfa Is Still Straight-Up Clowning Opponents
This flash of brilliance from Hatem Ben Arfa is only his most recent in a run of incredible plays of late. That he didn’t score here doesn’t matter much, and Nice won the match anyway (on two Ben Arfa penalties), so let’s appreciate this for what it is....
Which Of These Are Real Soccer Teams That Played In The FA Cup This Weekend?
The FA Cup is well underway, but how well do you know the participating clubs? Take this quiz and find out....
Stoke City Fans Recognize Bald Opponent On Train, Chant About How He Looks Like A Thumb
This guy up top here is Doncaster Rovers midfielder Richard Chaplow. He came on as a substitute in yesterday’s FA Cup loss against Stoke City, then, at some point, took a train somewhere. He was recognized—probably due to that gleaming dome he’s been sporting since a bout of glandular fever as a kid...
This Is One Dedicated Idiot On The Field
Yesterday’s FA Cup match between Eastleigh and Bolton featured a pitch invader on a mission—one that, despite his obvious interference, didn’t manage to stop play. The referee gave the advantage, and the Idiot On The Field fell on his ass....
Dumbass Cat Wanders Around Everton Game Like He's People Or Something
Everton played something called Dag & Red FC this morning in the FA Cup, but more importantly, a cat invaded the game and tried to play soccer as if it was a human. Newsflash for you, my pal: no cats allowed....
Court Docs: MLS Coach Spanked Players, Called Concussed Players Pussies And More
In 2012, the Philadelphia Union fired then-coach Peter Nowak. The ongoing legal battle over that firing has made public the disturbing allegations that got Nowak canned. They include Nowak spanking rookie players, sometimes with a sandal, to the point where it hurt his own hand; belittling concussio...