soccer Page 96 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Soccer Player Who Thanked Both Wife And Girlfriend After Game Digs Hole Deeper
South African Premier League player Mohammed Anas told on himself last week, when he thanked his wife and his girlfriend in a postgame interview. He has since tried to explain himself, and he didn’t do a very good job....
Brazilian Soccer Guy Who Had His Girlfriend Killed And Fed To Dogs: "What Happened Happened"
Goalkeeper Bruno de Souza was recently signed by Boa Esporte upon his release from prison after serving about seven years of a 22-year sentence for plotting to kill his ex-girlfriend. At Bruno’s behest, the woman was tortured, killed, and her body fed to Bruno’s dogs to hide the evidence. In Bruno’s...
Wayne Rooney's Potential Return To Everton Actually Makes Lots Of Sense
It’s long felt inevitable that one of these days Everton’s prodigal son Wayne Rooney would return home. Judging from a report in the Independent that quotes sources close to Everton and Manchester United as believing the move is “likely to happen” this summer, we might be mere months away from seein...
Italian Soccer Guy Playing In England Misses Pasta And The Sun
Italy’s Andrea Ranocchia joined Premier League stragglers Hull City this season, hoping to work his way back on to the Italian national team. In the meantime, he’s doing his best to adjust to life in England, but there a couple things from Italy he really misses. Namely, pasta and sunshine. ...
Mario Balotelli Missed Start Of Match Because He Tied His Shoes Too Tight
Mario Balotelli’s blistering start to his career in Nice has cooled off some of late. No doubt eager to get back to scoring ways, Balotelli tied his boots nice and tight before stepping out onto the field against Nantes this weekend. Only he soon realized he’d tied them too tight and had to get a co...
Bastian Schweinsteiger Becomes Latest Old Guy To Head For MLS<em></em>
Three years ago, Bastian Schweinsteger was on top of the soccer world. He was starting for the best club and national teams in the world, winning the Champions League for Bayern Munich in 2013 and the World Cup for Germany in 2014. The do-it-all midfielder won eight Bundesliga titles with Bayern and...
Spanish Soccer Dads Celebrate Father's Day By Beating Each Other Up
A game between Spanish youth sides Alaró and Collerense was interrupted and later canceled yesterday after a bunch of riled up sports parents got into a big brawl. El Confidencial reports that an Alaró player made a hard tackle, which sparked an argument. The argument then roped in a herd of overeag...
South African Soccer Player Accidentally Thanks Both Wife And Girlfriend In Post-Game Talk
The South African Premier League’s Mohammed Anas won Man of the Match for his two goals in yesterday’s Free State-Cape Town game. Good stuff! Except for his acceptance speech, in which he thanked both his wife and girlfriend (before backtracking to assure his wife that, really, he loves her so much)...
Soccer Guy's Arm Is All Types Of Fucked Up After Collision With Keeper
It’s No. 9 in blue, Fenerbahçe’s Fernandão, that you want to be watching here, even if both he and the keeper he ran into are writhing on the ground following their collision. It’s not exactly a gross injury, but the look of Fernandão’s arm just hanging there—it’s reportedly broken—is pretty disturb...
This Champions League Quarterfinal Draw Is So Good
There are only eight teams left standing in the Champions League. This is the stage of the tournament where Europe’s biggest and best clubs (and Leicester City) will battle for ultimate supremacy. And quite the fascinating battle it will be, because the draw is fantastic:...
Would You Eat A Peeled Banana That Other People Touched?<em></em>
Manchester United’s Marcos Rojo brought a glimmer of excitement to an otherwise dull afternoon of Europa League soccer by eating a banana. United was up 1-0 over Rostov in the second leg of the round of 16, when Rojo, apparently, felt like he was cramping up and requested a nanner. ...
Look On This Roster, Ye Mighty, And Despair!
What team does Jake Livermore play for? The English national team, apparently!...
Romelu Lukaku Knows He Has Outgrown Everton
It’s not quite the juiciest quote from Romelu Lukaku’s wide-ranging media session with reporters Tuesday, during which he clarified just how serious his desire is to play for a truly great, title-challenging team—be that at Everton or, more likely, elsewhere—but this response to a question about whe...
Are Three Aging Goalkeepers The Best U.S. Soccer Has To Offer?
On Wednesday, U.S. men’s national team coach Bruce Arena announced the roster for the USMNT’s upcoming World Cup qualifiers against Honduras and Panama. There were no huge surprises, except maybe for the inclusion of Clint Dempsey, who recently returned to soccer after being sidelined with an unspe...
Manchester City Knocked Out Of Champions League; Leicester Last English Team Standing
The Foxes were the best English team in the Premier League last year, and apparently they’re the best English team in the Champions League this season. With Manchester City’s 3-1 loss to Monaco today, Leicester fucking City are the final representatives in Europe’s top competition from the Best Leag...
Christian Pulisic's Swag Is Crazy High Right Now And It's Beautiful To See
Highly coveted wonderteen and future Ballon d’Or winner Christian Pulisic scored the first goal in Borussia Dortmund’s 3-0 win over Lotte in the German Cup yesterday. The goal itself was fine, the product of Pulisic’s smart movement but mostly Ousmane Dembélé’s unreal skills. But check out Pulisic’s...
Leicester City's Champions League Dream Survives Another Round
That’s Wes Morgan up there leaning into his “Captain Morgan” nickname, peering through a mimed telescope after scoring Leicester City’s opening goal against Sevilla and seeing that indeed, his rowdy bunch of scalawags were right on course to make it to the Champions League quarterfinals....
Paul Pogba Is Good
If the statement in the headline of this post—Paul Pogba is good—seems ridiculous to you, too trivially obvious to be worth saying, then you’re in luck, because it means you haven’t had your mind numbed by some of the predictably over-the-top criticism he has been subject to since joining the Premie...
Brazilian Soccer Guy Who Ordered His Ex Tortured To Death Signs With New Team
Bruno de Souza is the latest player signed by second-tier Brazilian side Boa Esporte. He’s made his name tending goal for prominent Brazilian teams like Flamengo and Atlético Mineiro—and also for being sentenced in 2013 to 22 years in prison after he was found guilty of arranging the murder of Eliza...
Jose Mourinho Talks More Shit, Says "Judas Is No. 1"
Nothing—not losing, not winning, and certainly not cascading jeers from fans of his former club—will stop Jose Mourinho from talking heaps of trash. The man simply cannot help himself. On Monday, the fighting words came after Manchester United’s 1-0 loss to Chelsea in the FA Cup quarterfinal, during...