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![NSFW: An Alabama Fan Teabagged A Passed-Out LSU Fan At The Bourbon Street Krystal [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
NSFW: An Alabama Fan Teabagged A Passed-Out LSU Fan At The Bourbon Street Krystal [UPDATE]
Those of us un/fortunate enough to have visited the Krystal restaurant at the mouth of Bourbon Street in New Orleans know it's a place where the occasionally odd, bizarre, or criminal events take place. We don't know which of these this incident is, if not all three. That's especially given that so...

Bernie Fine Accuser Admits To Fabricating Sexual Abuse Claims
In letters (provided below) obtained by the Post-Standard, Floyd VanHooser, the prison inmate who accused Bernie Fine of sexually abusing him since 1969, has admitted to fabricating his story. ...

It May Be Professional Lacrosse's Season-Opener, But Teams' Fighting Skills Are In Midseason Form
I'll admit professional lacrosse is a sport beyond my professional purview, so I didn't even know they had hockey-style fights. Last night's season-opener between Rochester and Philadelphia ended with a real rumbler, though, even bringing the goalies out for fisticuffs. In the end, the fight laste...

Your NFL Playoffs Divisional Round Open Thread: Houston Texans at Baltimore Ravens
Welcome back for day two of the divisional round. As always, make yourselves comfortable down below in the comments....

Tom Brady's Punt Finally Brought Some Life To The Broncos Defense, If By Life You Mean Punches
Blame Von Miller for this dirty hit that is an unfortunate coda to his otherwise spectacular season. But quick kicks always tend to result in some kind of craziness; like turnovers, they put players outside their comfort zone. In this case, it was reason for Miller to go on an assault mission, th...

Here's CNN Meteorologist Alexandra Steele's Forecast For Today's Chargers-Lions Playoff Game At Ford Field
Consider how many people are involved in the production of a simple weather forecast on CNN. You have the meteorologist, for sure, but you also have the producer who loads the "wx" into the script/rundown, and the graphics techs who run the system that creates what you see on your screen. ...

Joe Paterno's First Interview Since The Sandusky Scandal Is A Five-Page Waste Of Time
Sure, part of the reason Sally Jenkins was able to land the interview in the first place was because the article was guaranteed to be a five page waste of time. But still, the much-hyped article does not even tackle the McQueary meeting until page four. Yes, we get an inside look at what life is no...

Somebody Let Tony Siragusa Know There's An "L" In The Word "Flag"
There are unfortunate misstatements, and then there is questioning the sexuality of an inanimate object. [Fox]...

Florida State Upset North Carolina, But What We Really Learned Is That Walk-Ons Are Expendable
When the clock hit zero at the end of Florida State's shocking 90-57 upset of #3 North Carolina, none of the Tar Heels' star players were on the floor. In fact, they were already in the locker room, as they'd been pulled out of the arena along with the rest of UNC's scholarship players—leaving fi...

Stephen Bardo Saw <em>The King's Speech</em> But Clearly Didn't Pay Much Attention To It
ESPN basketball analyst Stephen Bardo tried to link the story of Missouri basketball star Kim English—who battled a speech impediment—to last year's Academy Award-winning film The King's Speech, but got a few details wrong. Like, for example, that a king was involved....

UCF Basketball Team Can't Believe The Sorry State Of West Virginia Hotels Before Big Game Against Marshall
Tonight, at 7:00 p.m. inside the Cam Henderson Center, these two storied basketball programs will renew their rivalry on the court. Off the court, however, things got a 24-hour head start when several UCF player tweets sparked some spirited back-and-forth....

A.J. Daulerio's Stirring 9/11 Column, And Other Roast Remainders
Over the past week or so, we've roasted our former editor A.J. Daulerio, who has moved across the room to edit Gawker, the English-language newsletter of a Hungarian tech company. Some people who knew A.J., and some who didn't know him at all, were kind enough to send in their own tributes to the ma...

Two Brief Phone Conversations With A Very Loud, Gibbering Scott Paterno
Good ol' Scotty. Kind of the black sheep of the Paterno family. Once referred to as a "morbidly porcine man-child." Also a bit of a wingnut, it seems. I called up JoePa's son today to ask him—not his dad—about some information I'd gotten from a source close to the Paternos. I left Scott a polite mes...

Congratulations To New Rams Coach Jeff Fisher, Who On At Least One Occasion Popped The Collar On His Pink Golf Shirt And Tied A Sweater Over His Shoulders
Reader John sends in a photo, taken with Jeff Fisher "at a bar in Florida this summer," where Fisher was reportedly pounding beers like a champ. Good for him: turning around these Rams won't be so casual....

How The Song "Seven Nation Army" Conquered The Sports World
The march toward musical empire began on Oct. 22, 2003, in a bar in Milan, Italy, 4,300 miles away from Detroit. Fans of Club Brugge K.V., in town for their team's group-stage UEFA Champions League clash against European giant A.C. Milan, gathered to knock back some pre-match beers. Over a stereo bl...

Penn State's New President Doesn't Think This Is Penn State's Scandal
Rodney Erickson, the new president of Penn State, is taking questions from concerned alumni this week at a series of townhall-style meetings. Though he's promised a new era of openness and transparency, Erickson displayed plenty of evasiveness and contradiction even before he set out for Pittsburgh...

The Cover Of The New <em>Penn Stater</em> Magazine Is Dark, Demented, And Perfect
The first line of the editor's letter from Tina Hay in the new issue of The Penn Stater makes it clear: "This is not the January/February issue we had planned." And so it is not. The magazine staff had intended to run a cover story on "great concert memories at Penn State." Then the Sandusky story b...

This One's For Anyone Who's Ever Wanted To Tell A Sideline Reporter "I Love You, You're So Pretty And Beautiful"
Greg from Lemont, Sarah Kustok from CSN, you two are just about the cutest couple and this isn't creepy at all. Make it happen. [CSN Chicago]...

It Looked For All The World Like Jaromir Jagr Was Batin' On The Bench
The aging winger still has needs, but he was probably just adjusting his equipment. Then adjusting some more. Still adjusting......

AL MVP Justin Verlander Eats Like You Do When You're Drunk At 2 A.M.
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!!...