st Page 2041 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Ukulele Boob Girl Will Do Anything You Ask If You Vote For Her Again
Remember Sarah H., the lovely damsel who desperately pleaded for your votes in some sort of freakish marketing contest by playing a ukulele nestled under her breasts? Well, she's emailing again, claiming that the freakish marketing people somehow turned her 1,500-vote advantage into a 12-vote defic...

Knock Out Chris Rix, Win Five Grand: Here's Your Price List For The Miami Hurricanes' Alleged Football Bounties
In Charles Robinson's Miami shitstorm investigation, Hurricanes booster Nevin Shapiro claims that he issued bounties for in-game achievements and targets. We've compiled them for your convenience. Here are the players who supposedly collected:...

<em>GQ</em>'s Michael Vick Story Will Just Make White People Angry Again
This one, penned by Yahoo! movie blogger Will Leitch, drops tomorrow at 7 a.m. so the mag has started to send out embargoed teases to other media outlets to get the buzziest buzz going on this thing but, shit, why wait 12 hours for the good stuff? You'll read it all tomorrow on GQ's website, right? ...

NCAA Takes A Good Long Look At Its Rules, Decides To Maybe Allow Student-Athletes To Put Spread On Their Bagels
The NCAA has released their proposed legislation for 2011-2012, a list of bylaw additions and alterations proposed by member conferences. Some are important; others are less so, and they'll all be voted on at the Board of Directors meeting next year, and could go into effect next summer....

The Worst Time To Make Up A Quote From A GM Calling One Of His Players Crazy Is Probably In That Player's Obituary
Or, anyway, we think that the worst time you can invent a GM's quote calling a player "crazy" is in that player's obituary....

The Hidden Victim Of Yahoo Sports' Miami Report: Former Florida Guard Teddy DuPay
Yesterday's Yahoo Sports dressing-down of The U included all the usual NCAA hand-wringing: illegal cars, strippers, and cash. We got a little excited because stripper abortions and bowling Donna Shalala were involved. (Anytime there's an investigation this big, there has to be the littlest bit of so...

Last Night Some Florida Lady Tried To Beat Up Her Girlfriend With A Strap-On
Young love is never as pretty as they make it look on television, in your 90210 or Friday Night Lights. Instead of runny mascara, the young ladies of Bradenton, Florida have given us strap-on violence....

Watch The Red Sox Turn A 5-4-3 Triple Play Tonight
Hooray. Because the Red Sox really needed this to reverse the fortunes of their horrible season....

Deadspin I-Team: Which Miami Player Necessitated A Stripper's Abortion?
The latest Yahoo Sports NCAA investigation is more of the usual: a lot of investigative horsepower and details devoted to NCAA rules that don't make a whole lot of sense in the first place. But, as Barry tweeted, this story, unlike SI's Tressel investigations, has stripper abortions....

Yes, Donna Shalala Went Bowling With The Rogue Miami Booster And Sebastian The Ibis
Once upon a time, Donna Shalala was a dignified cabinet member during the Clinton glory years. She was Secretary of Health and Human Services, the first female to miss the State of the Union as a designated survivor in case of an attack....

This Is The Kind Of Tattoo You're Only Allowed To Get If You've Won Three Stanley Cups
Mark Recchi can get whatever he damn well pleases for his first tat. We love that Mark says he'll get his kids' initials "at some point." Whenever he gets around to it. The Cup comes first....

Watch Batting Stance Guy's Creepily Accurate Impressions Of All Your Least Favorite MLB Reporters
There's Terrorized Tim Kurkjian, precious Pedro Gomez, particular Peter Gammons, and Jon fucking Heyman....

Gregggggg Easterbrook Is 5,000 Years Old
The coming return of the NFL means it's time for yet another season of ESPN columnist and Christian Mr. Spock Greggggg Easterbrook writing 50,000 words about how smart he is and how stupid and ungrateful the rest of the world is. And, as a bonus this season, Easterbrook is now really old and out of ...

Roger Clemens Handed Out Some Souvenirs At His Trial
It's been a month since a mistrial was declared in Roger Clemens' perjury case, and yet the misconduct just won't end. A group of court security guards are under investigation for accepting signed baseballs from Clemens, which is not a thing that is ok....

Your Tiger Woods Photobomb Guy Photoshop Roundup
Last week, immediately upon witnessing the awesomeness of That Guy Who Photobombed Tiger Woods, we put out the call to see what you could do with him via photoshop. And you didn't disappoint....

The Hidden Message Of This Girl In A Royals Visor Giving A Ball To Some Kid In A Jeter Shirtsey
Here's how MLB captioned the above video, which appears heartwarming and nurturing and fuzzy and cherubic: "Young Royals fan in pigtails gives foul ball to young Yankees fan not in pigtails."...

Vermont Discovers The Joy Of Low-Flying Basketball
Lots of young white men have been dunking basketballs in northern Vermont this summer. In about a decade of watching and playing a lot of high school basketball in the Green Mountain State, I saw a total of four successful dunks in live game play. One of those, I remember, came in the 2002 boys' s...

Your Preseason Monday Night Football Open Thread: Jets-Texans
It's the first Monday Nighter of the nascent NFL season. Oh, right: It doesn't count. But so what? It's football. If you're watching, consider this your invitation to chat about it in the comments....

The "Big" Penis Of Tom Brady's Toddler Son Prompted State Police To Visit Barstool Sports Editor's Home (UPDATE)
Late last week, Barstool Sports used the headline "Check Out The Howitzer On Brady's Kid" above a paparazzi photo of a naked Benjamin Brady, age one and a half, frolicking on the beach:...

Logan Morrison Was Demoted Because Wes Helms Is A Super-Secret Double-Agent Mole: A Theory
Marlins outfielder/tweeter Logan Morrison was demoted to AAA New Orleans on Saturday night. It was a weird demotion, because Morrison ranks second in OPS on the team (ahead of first baseman Gaby Sanchez, and any outfielders who might replace him) and because the Marlins are 56-64, burnt toast....