st Page 2040 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Rafael Furcal Is Super-Uncoordinated
Via Buster Olney: "Rafael Furcal sprained his thumb when bracing a fall, after tripping over a rope near the batting cage here in Wrigley." If he's this clumsy while sober, we'd hate to see him drunk....

Houston Dynamo's Stoppage-Time Goal Causes Their Announcer To Orgasm On Air
Perhaps you might react with some skepticism to this man's gleeful shrieking: after all, the win only brought Houston to 8-7-11, and Real Salt Lake isn't one of the MLS's top teams....

Two Fans Shot In Candlestick Park Parking Lot After Raiders-49ers Preseason Game
We suggested some months ago that Los Angeles might have the most violent fans in America. But now—with two shootings in the Candlestick Park parking lot after last night's Raiders-49ers preseason game—it seems like all of California might have the worst fans....

Gird Your Loins, Green Bay: Some Dude Is Running Around Town Pretending To Be Brett Favre
We hear completely retired NFL quarterback Brett Favre is pretty revered up in Wisconsin. Especially in the town of Green Bay. Midwesterners are forgiving folks, and they put up with the whole dong-texting and playing-for-the-Vikings thing. So, as you might expect, some dude (pictured above) pretend...

Ball Bounces Off Centerfielder's Glove, Then His Head, Then He Catches It And Starts A Triple Play
Omaha Storm Chasers vs. Nashville Sounds, yesterday. Triple-A-y baseball even by Triple-A baseball standards. We'll set the scene for you: men on first and second, no one out, Clint Robinson up for Omaha. Logan Schafer is in center field....

One Team Scored Its First English Premier League Goal In 15 Years Today, And It Was Against Tim Howard
In its second game back in the English Premier League after a relegation stint in the Division 1 hinterlands, Queens Park Rangers got its first victory today, defeating Everton 1-0....

Presenting Slo-Mo Video Of A Little League Player Taking A Baseball To The Face
Your morning roundup for Aug. 20, the ninth day that Delonte West will wake up hoping Home Depot calls. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. (Video from California's 11-0 win over Rhode Island H/T Shaun B). ...

The Winner Of Iowa-Iowa State Gets This Awful Trophy
This is the new Cy-Hawk Trophy, given annually to the winner of the Iowa State-Iowa football game. It depicts an Iowa farmer presenting to his family some of the subsidy-fattened corn crop that he will soon sell to an Archer Daniels Midland processing plant in Keokuk, whereupon the corn will be conv...

The Chinese Basketball Association Doesn't Want Kobe Bryant To Play Next Season, Either
One nice, unproductive distraction from the lockout has been to speculate about which NBA players will spend the lockout playing in China, Turkey, and, somehow, England. But now the Chinese Basketball Association has gone and deprived us even of that pleasure, announcing today that it would not perm...

SMU's New Locker Room Is A Strip Club
Too bad there's already a Pink Pony strip club in Atlanta, because that would be a hell of a name for this neon-lit luxury monster....

Terry Bradshaw Doesn't Seem To Realize That Hawaii Is A State
During tonight's Philadelphia Eagles/Pittsburgh Steelers preseason game, conversation in the Fox Sports booth turned to Troy Polamalu and Hawaii. Here's a quick synopsis:...

Mike Vick Says Roger Goodell Didn't Make Him Go To Philly, But...
So Michael Vick tells Emeritus for GQ that nobody cares about dog-fighting except the media, that white people don't understand where he came from, and that the NFL encouraged him to go play for the Eagles when he pretty much preferred the Bengals or the Bills. Vick, as if on cue, has since clarifie...

Announcer Is Sorry His "One-Eyed Jimmy" "Just Came Out"
In the most MLS injury ever, Jimmy Neilsen, the Danish goalkeeper for Sporting Kansas City, was hit in the eye with a flying Omar Bravo bobblehead last night. He laid on the pitch for about four minutes, got stitched up, and returned to play in a 3-1 win over Portland....

Clint Dempsey Can't Stop Scoring Goals For Fulham
Last season, Clint Dempsey became Fulham's all-time leading scorer in the Premier League era. That's pretty impressive for an American. Or a human. Dempsey is already adding to his tally. He scored twice in today's Europa League match against Ukraine's FC Dnipro. (The first one in the video isn't ...

The Two Pro Wrestlers You'd Least Expect To Date Are Now In A Nude Photo Lawsuit
Once upon a time, you probably would have wanted to see Terri Runnels nude. If you came of age in the WWE's Attitude Era, she was up there with Sable and Sunny as one of the company's top sex symbols. Now? Not so much. Runnels is suing an ex-boyfriend for libel after he made disparaging Facebook com...

Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: Judgment Without Pity
Bartolo Colon, Yankee pitcher and existential protagonist, found himself beset by 14 men last night. Nine of his antagonists were Kansas City Royals hitters-including Billy Butler, who launched a fly ball to somewhere around the top of the outfield fence in the third inning. Four more of his opponen...

Help Us Get The Wireless Network Passwords For Every NFL Training Camp
Above is a screengrab of Antrel Rolle's interview with ESPN New York, in which the facility's wireless password is carelessly taped to the wall. It's 2011NYGTC. Very creative. Who knows what kind of mischief one could get up to with this kind of information: gaining access to Tom Coughlin's bank acc...

NFL Suspends Terrelle Pryor For Breaking The NCAA's Rules
The NFL announced today it will essentially suspend Terrelle Pryor, a player who isn't in the NFL, for violating rules that aren't the NFL's. This is really incredible, and the most incredible part is that what should happen in a sane and just world—Pryor hires a very good attorney who buries the NF...

Diddy Goes To School With Russell Westbrook And Baron Davis
Your morning roundup for Aug. 18, the day the kids and the dog prevented a dude from stealing our van. Photo via @kevinlove. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Here's A Picture Of Justin Tuck, In Full Pads, Pushing A Baby Carriage
Tipster Jack M. says watching 13 seconds of Justin Tuck pushing his baby in a carriage toward Mike Francesa and Tom Coughlin while in full uniform "could be one of the oddest things I've ever seen." Tipster Jack M. probably hasn't seen Michel Lotito in action....