st Page 2198 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

A Catalog Of The Latest In Telestrator Dong
Our sportscasters continue to adorn our televisions with glowing penises. We will continue to feature their artwork....

Warren Sapp Questioned Over Some Domestic Violence Something Or Other
Tough couple days for former members of The U and former Dancing With The Stars contestants. Oh, and NFL Network employees, actually. [TMZ]...

Stories That Don't Suck: Starstruck In N.O., Drunk In Indy, Badly Beaten In Yonkers, Gonzo At The Big Game
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....

Presenting The Single Worst Piece Of Sports Journalism From Super Bowl XLIV
The headline on ESPN.com is "Papa John's founder John Schnatter feeds me pizza." Then things get really stupid....

Last Night's Winner: OchoCinco's South Beach Harem
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Chad OchoCinco, who's making Miami his own personal playground and Twittering his escapades....

Thank The Lord This Crimson Tide Fan Left His Head-Gear At Home
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...

This February, Hines Ward Screws The Pooch
How is Hines Ward spending his Super Bowl week? As a celebrity judge for the Dog Bowl, picking which performed the best football-related trick. How is it so far, Hines? "Oh, man, it definitely stinks, to be honest." [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]...

Last Night's Winner: Lane Kiffin's Affinity For Young Teenage Boys
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Lane Kiffin, who's already made a cannonball splash at USC thanks to an aspirational verbal commitment from a 13-year-old boy....

First Spoils Of Terry Court Victory: Premier League Manager's Whorehouse Visit
Remember how an English court said the tabloids weren't barred from reporting on John Terry's private life? That's what we call a precedent....

One Tiger Fling Not Too Happy With Her Balls
Those "Tail of the Tiger" golf balls are in poor taste, sure, but do they advocate domestic violence? That's the stance of Tiger's porn star, and — of course — Gloria Allred....

People Fainting On Live Television Will Never Cease To Amuse
Batista is a Brazilian soccer commentator who got a little woozy during a recent broadcast. Note the expression shortly before his eyes roll upward. It's the look of someone who knows he's about to be all over YouTube. [Unprofessional Foul]...

Satan, For One, Cares About The Pro Bowl
The devil wants to destroy successful believers, Cowboys o-lineman Leonard Davis tells BPSports.net. That means you, Christian Pro Bowlers! "Satan is definitely on the prowl," Davis says. "He wants to see us fail." [BPSports.net]...

Louis Farrakhan's Grandson Picks Himself Up By His Bootstraps And Self-Reliantly Dunks On Guy's Head
Here's Virginia guard Mustapha Farrakhan, grandspawn of the leader of the Nation of Islam, hereby dubbed the Mutha Plane, stuffing some poor N.C. State fellow through the hoop. [YouTube, via Steinberg]...

Last Night's Winner: Edukation
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like school children in Indianapolis who get to sleep in one entire hour on Monday morning, win or lose. Then they will totally learn stuff....

Ma-Bu-Li In China: A Gallery
You read Anthony Tao's story about Stephon Marbury earlier today. The photos he took during his time on Marbury's trail offer further insight into the weirdness of the Lone Wolf's stint in the Chinese Basketball Association. With commentary by Tao....

Ball-Biting Incident Rocks Cricket To Its Juicy Core
Pakistan's captain was caught attempting to doctor a ball by biting it like an apple during a match against Australia. It's the sport's worst ball-related controversy since the Vaseline incident of 1976, which is just....ok, they're messing with us, right?...

The Lone Wolf Goes To China
Stephon Marbury is now a point guard for the Brave Dragons of Shanxi, where writer Anthony Tao finds Ma-Bu-Li trying to preserve his star among the coal heaps of a modern Chinese city....

Alabama Fax Machine Replaces Memphis Door As Inanimate Symbol Of Existential Dread
On this National Signing Day, Alabama is offering a live video feed of a fax machine. The machine periodically spits out a piece of paper. A name goes up on a board. Nothing to be done. [CBSSports.com, via Bourbon Boys]...

Last Night's Winner: Ankle Doctors
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like our nation's orthopedic specialists, who now hold the entire world in their hands like a big blue swollen ankle....

Telestrator Dong: Elephantiasis Edition
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....