st Page 2394 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

It Gets Late Early Down Under
It's 3:48 in the am and I'm preparing to entertain the shit out of you all weekend long, but I'd be remiss if I didn't alert all those awake to the goings on in Melbourne. Roger Federer is down a set to Serbian Janko Tipsarević who came into the night paying out at 180/1 to win the third round matc...

First Video Of Mike And Mike Roast Surfaces
JEFFREY ROSS MIKE AND MIKE ROASTUnfortunately, we don’t have the Dana Jacobson video yet, but the first little smidgen of footage from the Mike And Mike Roast has hit the Internets....

Some LSU Fans Are Disgusting
If you haven't your fill of repulsive behavior from drunken white football fans yet this morning — because apparently that's all the rage now — this video should be enough to take the taco. Warning: You're about to be disgusted. (Seriously: That's a legitimate warning. Turn the volume on your com...

About Last Night
What you missed while getting a piercing or two (careful ... this photo is rather jarring) ... • NBA: They're not booing, they're saying "Broooowwwnn" ... oh wait, they are booing. Suns 106, Lakers 98. • College basketball: Saint Louis bounces back from record-breaking bad performance to beat No. 21...

EVERYTHING HE PUNDITS IS IMPORTANT
For the second time in just more than a week, Stephen A. Smith appeared on Chris Matthews' "Hardball" last night. It makes perfect sense, so much so that we wonder if Smith is employed by the wrong channel....

Fire Up That Celtics Hype Machine Again
The NBA Closer is written by our Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or partying with Corey Worthington, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast....

About Last Night
What you missed while unleashing hell with a rubber band gun ... • NBA: Celtics win, Earth returns to normal orbit. • College basketball: Knight's 900th win is rather meaningful ... Texas Tech 68, No. 9 Texas A&M 53. • NFL: OK, his name is very similar to Tony Soprano. We get it. Dolphins hire Spara...

One Man's TV Nightmare Is Another's Comedy Gold
Of course, when you're struggling like this, it's always helpful to have a couple of smart-ass girls in the studio mocking you relentlessly....

Donte Stallworth's Alien Friend Nicco
Donte Stallworth can comfortably be considered the "other" wide receiver on the Patriots. He doesn't have the blow-up-a-game talent of Randy Moss, and he doesn't have the electric, sensuous charisma of the sex bomb that is Wes Welker. It takes a bit for the man to stand out. It takes something drama...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while escaping the lonely grave of Paula Schultz ... • NBA: LeBron plays 51 pickup, Cavaliers beat Grizzlies in OT. • College basketball: The news just keeps getting better for Ohio State. And by better, I mean worse. • Tennis: Rafael Nadal, Serena Williams advance at Australian Open...

An Illustrated History Of Roger Clemens' Boorishness
Those Congressional hearings are going on today, but we have a sneaking suspicion that none of you care about them — frankly, we don't either — so we're gonna focus on the type of discourse we enjoy considerably more: Pure, unadulterated hatred of Roger Clemens....

Little People Wrestling At Northwestern
The video above is an advertisement for Half Print Brawlers, which advertises that "midgets bleed for your enjoyment." Well, we suppose that's truth in advertising....

The Stars Come Out For The Australian Open
For the majority of her yearly tournament appearances, 17-year-old Austrian tennis star Tamira Paszek manages to keep the twins indoors, as they say. (OK, no one says that but me). But when the Australian Open rolls around, things change. She's out there, Jerry! And she's lovin' every minute of it...

About Last Night
What you missed while talking like Jack Bauer ... • College basketball: Despite missing injured starters Levance Fields, Mike Cook, Ladainian Tomlinson and Philip Rivers, No. 15 Pitt still beats No. 5 Georgetown, 69-60. • NBA: Kobe scores 48, not counting Alaska and Hawaii, as Lakers beat SuperSonic...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you maneuver Tank Chair into viewing position to watch ANYTHING YOU DAMN WELL PLEASE ... • College basketball: Georgetown at Pittsburgh (7 p.m., ET); Oklahoma at Kansas (9 p.m., ET); Gonzaga at Pepperdine (midnight, ET). Screw sleep; let's watch Pepperdine! [ESPN] • NHL: New York Ra...

Saying Goodbye To Scott Rolen
Even though the infighting between Scott Rolen and Tony LaRussa made the trade pretty much inevitable, we were still sad to see Scott Rolen traded to the Blue Jays for Troy Glaus. We like Glaus, don't get us wrong; the guy's a better hitter, younger, has a more reasonable contract and isn't afraid t...

All Hail The Loathsome Ronaldo
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....

Get A Job With ESPN Through The Comments
So you know how pretty much every page on ESPN.com has a "conversation" element anymore? (Except, of course, for Simmons' columns. But that's probably your/our/all-of-our fault. Sorry.) Well, that includes the ESPN Job Postings page, which leads to some awfully amusing comments....