st Page 2395 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Not Even Zook Can Help The Illini
Jonah Keri writes the college basketball closer (more or less) daily. E-mail your questions, comments or Clarence Ceasar-related memories to [email protected]....
About Last Night
What you missed while finally seeing "There Will Be Blood," which apparently is playing in only one theater at a time ... • NFL: Tony Romo free to return to Mexico ... Giants 21, Cowboys 17. Eli's Comin' ... • NBA: We have good news and bad news, Lakers' fans. Which do you want first? • College bask...
Roger Clemens Had An Abscess On His Butt
Aren't you glad you knew that? Is your day not more enlightened than before? In a story found by Steroid Nation in the New York Times, trainer Brian McNamee goes into totally unnecessary detail about the aftereffects of injecting Clemens with steroids....
Celtics Begin To Develop A Cellulite Problem
Know how supermodels stay thin? By being called fat at 110 pounds. It's the only way they'll learn. Judge them. Cut them down. You really want a thin slice of carrot cake? Because that dress you love doesn't come in fat cow size....
About Last Night
What you missed while live blogging football, for reasons no longer understood ... • NCAA Basketball: Even Michigan State's football team could score more than 36 against Iowa. • NHL: Senators filed motion to beat Detroit; motion passed 3-2. • NFL: Falcons about to hire non-sockpuppet general manage...
Todd Stottlemyre Seems Unhappy
The indispensable Fire Joe Morgan posted this audio-only YouTube video earlier this week featuring Stottlemyre, many years ago, sharing his insights as to why he lost his cool during a game, and I've listened to it about 20 times already. That number will only increase....
If you're a fan of beatdown basketball, top-ranked North Carolina has a slight lead over NC State at halftime, 43-13. If this gets any worse, the Heels might put skip their bench players and just sub in the Saint Louis Billikens. [Yahoo! Sports] Update: NC State had kind of a better second half with...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while making Baghdad's first-ever snow infidels... • NHL: Wild top Blackhawks 5-2 as Josh Harding saves 41; 300 wounded. • NBA: LeBron James leads Cavs to: (a) win, (b) loss, (c) the locker room at halftime, (d) none of the above, (e) both a and c. • Justice system: Bail shocks O.J. ...
Who Are We? "The Blues!" Who Are We Gonna Beat? "The Blues!"
There doesn't seem to be a bevy of interesting games — even for soccer fans! — save for one game, Man City and Everton. They're separated by a mere three points at the top of the standings "tables," and Man City hasn't lost a game "match" to anyone recently except Tottenham. That kind of consistency...
Strahan Would Totally Tap That
At first glance it's moral support from an unlikely source: Giants defensive end Michael Strahan says that Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson should be given their space. Leave Romo alone! He's a human being! Etc., etc. But you and I know what the real deal is here. Hey Tony, if you ever get tired of her...
About Last Night
What you missed while dumping Serena Williams ... • Sir Edmund Hillary dies at 88, will have ashes scattered atop Pamela Anderson. • Pistons fail in bid to lose third straight game. Detroit 90, San Antonio 80. • College basketball: That game you couldn't stay up for ended just a few minutes ago. Was...
Tomorrow, The Grand Daulerio Finale
We wanted to remind everyone to get their hankies out for tomorrow: It's the final installment of AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker....
It Is Time, Once Again, To Wank For A Cause
It's the news you dared not hope was true: Nearly 10 years after it was introduced in San Francisco, the Masturbate-A-Thon is making its triumphant return. To The Netherlands! What took you so long, Dutch people? (Carl Monday dons raincoat, sounds the Action 4 News Team alert). Oh, like you had anyt...
The Burnley Bee Will Not Tolerate Nakedness
Look, from now on, when a costumed bee tackles a naked man during an English League soccer match — and then does about a half-hour Bee Victory Dance to celebrate the feat — I want to be informed immediately. I'm just seeing this now? Inexcusable. Hirshey, or someone, will pay. Now, on with the show....
Upset In Beantown
The NBA Closer is written by our Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or voting Benson '08, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast....
About Last Night
What you missed while stumping for votes at the Nevada caucus (playing blackjack) ... • NBA: When the Celtics lose, it's news. When they lose to the Bobcats, it's big news. • College basketball: Isn't "7-foot-7 giant" redundant? Know any 7-foot-7 dwarves? Anyway, North Carolina 93, UNC-Asheville 81....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while cashing a check for Bernie ... • NHL: Ramo: First Blood ... Lightning 5, Rangers 3. • NBA: Heat vs. Timberwolves ... a matchup you're really sorry you missed. • NFL: Nooooo! Nooooooo! You mean that the 49ers hired ... ?NOOOO!...