stlouiscardinals Page 5 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Marcell Ozuna Tried Way Too Hard To Catch This Fly Ball<em></em>
The Brewers whupped the Cardinals tonight, and the Milwaukee scoring got rolling with a two-out, first-inning fly ball from Jesus Aguilar. It was high, and it was deep, but it wasn’t quite as gone as St. Louis left fielder Marcell Ozuna assumed it was. While Ozuna was trying out his best Spider-Man ...

Adam Wainwright Is A Merciless Prank Artist
Skip Schumaker spent the first eight of his 11 years in the majors playing for the St. Louis Cardinals, where he was teammates with, among others, career-Cardinal Adam Wainwright. Schumaker retired in 2016, after stints with the Dodgers and Reds, and is now the first base coach for the San Diego Pad...

Michael Wacha Blows Ninth Inning No-Hitter For The Second Time In His Career
For the second time in his career, Cardinals pitcher Michael Wacha carried a no-hitter into the ninth inning of a major league baseball game, today at home against the Pirates. And for the second time in his career, a lousy softly-hit single spoiled his shot at history. Three outs away from the 11th...

Hey, Quick Pitches Sure Seem To Speed Up The Pace Of Play
In the top of the ninth inning of a lopsided Pirates victory over the vile St. Louis Cardinals Friday, Pirates reliever Kyle Crick quick-pitched Cardinals pinch hitter Harrison Bader on an 0-2 count, drawing a delightfully meager and pointless little swinging bunt from Bader:...

Jordan Hicks Is A Flamethrowing Maniac
I guess we’d better get used to this: On Sunday, Cardinals reliever Jordan Hicks threw five pitches to the Phillies’ scorching-hot Odubel Herrera during a ninth inning at-bat. They were all sinkers, clocking in respectively at 104, 105, 104, 105 and 103 mph. They were the five fastest pitches of the...

Shortstop Pedro Florimon Pitches Perfect Inning, Then Socks Mighty Dinger
The dreaded Cardinals chased Phillies ace Jake Arrieta after just three innings in Friday night’s gloomy, rain-delayed tilt in St. Louis. The score was then 4-0; by the time reliever Drew Hutchison finished the sixth inning it was 9-2; the game finally became a laugher when Yacksel Rios allowed anot...

Yadier Molina Undergoes Surgery After Taking Fastball To The Dick And Balls
On the list of worst-case scenarios for baseball catchers, this sequence has got to rank somewhere near the top: getting nailed in the junk by a deflected 102-mph fastball; requiring surgery for anything having to do with getting nailed in the junk by a deflected 102-mph fastball. But that appears t...

Yadier Molina's Day Gets Much Worse, Very Quickly
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Jordan Hicks Threw The Season's Two Fastest Pitches
Reliever Jordan Hicks, who plays for some crummy team, threw record-setting gas Tuesday night against White Sox shortstop Tim Anderson. Five of the six pitches in that plate appearance were above 101 mph, and the pitch at the top of this post came in at 102.0 mph, the fastest this season. Anderson c...

Kolten Wong Isn't Very Good At The Walkoff Water Cooler Shower
Kolten Wong is currently batting .203 at the plate and .000 in post-game celebrations. Last Thursday, Dexter Fowler was responsible for a thrilling 4-3 comeback win for the Cards with a walkoff base hit in the bottom of the 13th. Wong went to douse Fowler with the water cooler, but he completely ble...

Benches Clear In Diamondbacks-Cardinals When Yadier Molina Goes After Opposing Manager
A balls-and-strikes argument between Diamondbacks manager Torey Lovullo and home plate umpire Tim Timmons went in an unexpected direction this afternoon, when Lovullo apparently said something to Timmons that pissed off Cardinals catcher Yadier Molina:...

"They're Gonna Tell You About A Blow Job. That's Right!"
“Yes, sir!”...

Tommy Pham Vents About Being Jerked Around By The Cardinals
The St. Louis Cardinals’ Tommy Pham, who recently turned 30, had his breakout season in 2017 when he hit 23 homers, stole 25 bases, achieved a .411 on-base percentage. And yet, he began the year by being optioned to Triple A. Pham hasn’t forgotten....

Report: Marlins Continue Setting Themselves On Fire, Trade Marcell Ozuna To Cardinals
The Miami Marlins, an alleged major league club in the NL East, are carrying on with their plan to strip the franchise bare and trade off all their players worth a damn. Giancarlo Stanton is a Yankee, Dee Gordon is a Mariner, everyone else is available, and now Marcell Ozuna is a Cardinal. Jesse San...

St. Louis Cardinals Release Statement Announcing That Giancarlo Stanton Has Owned Them<em></em>
Ken Rosenthal reported Thursday that baseball murderer Giancarlo Stanton will not waive his no-trade clause for the Giants or Cardinals. (The Astros and Cubs remain in the mix, albeit behind the Yankees and Dodgers.) Stanton’s refusal to go to St. Louis wasn’t a hypothetical one, according to the Ca...

Miles Mikolas, Noted Lizard Eater, Signs With Cardinals
Tasty stuff on the hot stove today, folks: The Cardinals have signed right-handed pitcher Miles Mikolas to a two-year deal. You may know his name from very brief stints with the Padres and Rangers from 2012 through 2014 (unlikely), or from his quite good performance in Japan over the past several ye...

For Now, It Looks Like Giancarlo Stanton Will Either Be A Cardinal Or A Giant
Giancarlo Stanton in St. Louis? Giancarlo Stanton in San Francisco? If you’re dreaming about where the defending National League MVP might end up next season, there’s no sense in dreaming any bigger than that. The Stanton sweepstakes are reportedly down to the Cardinals and the Giants, and Stanton w...

Purity Of Cardinal Way Being Polluted By Outsiders, Says Ridiculous Column
The St. Louis Cardinals have missed the playoffs for two consecutive seasons now. Some might say this is because they’ve become a middling NL team in both offense and pitching, and that an infusion of talent might propel them upwards from those low-to-mid-80s win totals, where they will probably nee...

Cardinals Eliminated With Robbed Home Run In Extra-Innings Loss To Cubs
The Cardinals’ slim postseason hopes were officially put to rest tonight in an extra-innings loss to the Cubs, who had already clinched the division with a win over St. Louis yesterday....

Jon Lester Is Not Happy About The Nacho Man
Last night, Cubs shortstop Addison Russell crashed into the stands and absolutely destroyed an order of nachos a Cardinals fan was eating. It was hilarious! Watch it again, or watch it for the first time....