tea Page 109 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Billy The Marlin Really Should Have Reconsidered High-Fiving In This Situation (UPDATE)
What in the name of Jim Rose Sideshow is going on here? One reader suggested that this armless gentleman "threw out the first pitch" at a recent Marlins game but that seems highly unlikely. If so, please send video. We'll update....
Mike Vick Birthday Shooting Might Have Been Over Cake
Vick's 30th birthday went off with a bang, as his dogfighting co-defendent Quanis Phillips was shot early this morning. Rumors have it that a dispute between Phillips and Vick went down after someone shoved cake in someone's face. Seriously. [Daily Press]...
Defeated North Koreans Could Be Sent To Work In Coal Mines
This post, written by Josh Burt, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff....
Chaos Shall Reign Again: Deadspin Anarchy Editing Duo In Full Effect
Greetings, you tawdry bastards. Tomorrow this site will be overtaken by everyone's favorite sentence assassin, The Great Moe Tkacik with special assistance from the artist formerly known as The Baghdad Diarist, Scott Thomas Beauchamp. Engage....
Teagarden Affair Once Again Exposes All-Star Voters As A Bunch Of Morons
Here's your triannual reminder that sports fans are stupid, and should be protected from themselves: currently fourth in the voting for AL catcher is a player who has one measly hit on the season, and currently plays in Double-A....
Who should start for England against the USA?
Not long to go now, and still the debates are raging about who should line up for England in their first World Cup outing....
Colombia Robbed By “Scantily Clad Girls” At World Cup Hotel
Probably not the headline Danny Jordaan, head of South Africa's World Cup bid, wants to be reading over his Corn Flakes just two weeks before the tournament starts. ...
Argentine National Team Given Go-Ahead To Hump Its Way To World Cup Glory
Argentina's World Cup doctor says the squad will be allowed to sleep with "regular partners...without champagne or other drinks" during the tournament since sex is "not a problem in itself." Given recent events, Maradona's response to this news will be exquisite. [iAfrica.com]...
Mushroom Tea Murder: Man Removes Friend's Still-Beating Heart
After taking psychedelic mushrooms, a California man gouged out his MMA training partner's heart, eyes and tongue, all while he was still alive. Witness testimonies detail the two men's increasing paranoia as it spiraled out of control....
What’s This? A Video BRIMMING With Rooney Goals?
As reported in today's Sun, Wayne Rooney shall be saving his goals for the World Cup. It's a very kind gesture by the young man......
Mexico Fans Win Important Football Fancy Dress Battle
During any football match, there are numerous battles going on. You've got the obvious one on the pitch, accompanied by hundreds of verbal ones in local pubs around the country, whilst in a wasteland somewhere geographically equidistant from the clubs......
World Cup Profile: USA
Today, it's the turn of those lovely American chaps, who will be seriously attempting to urinate on England's chips during the group stages. But can they do it? And, more importantly, who ARE these people? Read on to find out…...
The Phillies Are Probably Stealing Signs. So What?
After the Rockies accused Philadelphia of using binoculars to steal signs from the bullpen, MLB checked the video, and sure enough, they issued the Phillies a warning. We don't really see the problem with this....
So, About That Cubs-Lighting-Their-Farts Story
By now you've probably heard the rumor that Chicago's Jeff Baker missed time because he burned his backside trying to light a fart in the clubhouse. We thought this was worth some investigation....
Abbey Clancy Makes Her World Cup Prediction…
For those of you who prefer not to waste valuable shopping time reading up on the latest football relationships, Abbey Clancy is the lucky model who has long been on the receiving end of Peter Crouch's deep midnight kisses....
Look! It’s Some Wonderful England Goals On Video!
After spending the morning moaning about the state of the England team in the build up to the World Cup, it seems only right to look on the sunny side with a short video compilation of some great goals....
A Treasury Of Pee-Wee Football Players Knocking The Crap Out Of Each Other
The NFL Draft is tonight, and in honor of that most drawn-out of events, let's take a look at the hard-hitting players likely to be climbing Mel Kiper's Big Board in 2020....
Who Is The <em>SportsCenter</em> Farter This Time?
During an impassioned discussion on the Cleveland Browns, someone on the SportsCenter NFL draft panel cut one, just as Mike Tirico began to giggle. Was this a laughter-induced fart or fart-induced laughter? Who is the flatulent panelist? Deadspin-I-Team, assemble. H/T Steve....
How Did That False Amy Mickelson-Michael Jordan Rumor Start Anyway?
One of the the hottest Google searches today* is for "Amy Mickelson Michael Jordan affair." The results lead to unsourced nonsense about Phil Mickelson's illegitimate love child and his wife banging a basketball star. How the heck did that happen?...
The Spoiler’s 10 Greatest Ever Football Teams
Should this year's Barcelona manage to retain the Champions League, and keep Real from pipping them in La Liga, they might yet be considered one of the greatest sides of them all....