ted Page 213 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This Horrendous Atlanta United Fan Chant Is The Nadir Of American "Football" Cosplay
If you haven’t yet grasped why American soccer’s penchant for ripping off European fan culture without any of the history or tradition from which the real culture emerged is so embarrassing—think MLS team names like Sporting KC and D.C. United, or incidents like New York Red Bulls “ultras” tossing g...
Zlatan Ibrahimovic Free Kick Stunner Opens League Cup Final Scoring For Manchester United
Zlatan Ibrahimovic is back to doing Zlatan Ibrahimovic things, as he provided Manchester United a 1-0 lead in today’s League Cup final against Southampton with a free kick of absolute perfection. Give this man the serum that will let him play forever, please....
What A Ricochet
André Ayew’s equalizer for West Ham came after the most fortunate of rebounds....
Sutton United Uses Outfield Player In Goal Days After Backup Goalkeeper Resigned Over Sideline Pie-Eating
Sutton United has had a hell of a week. The fifth-division club’s Cinderella run through the FA Cup came to an end; the loss that knocked them out of the tournament involved their large adult backup goalkeeper Wayne Shaw eating a pie on the sidelines, which led to a gambling probe, which led to Shaw...
![Big Fat Goalkeeper Faces Gambling Probe For Eating Pie During Match [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/lyrnxkrbc7qnbffnwbq2.jpg)
Big Fat Goalkeeper Faces Gambling Probe For Eating Pie During Match [UPDATE]
Large boy Wayne Shaw, the backup goalkeeper for fifth-division Sutton United, has inevitably become a meme over the course of his team’s cinderella run to the fifth round of the FA Cup, which pits teams from up and down the league pyramid, and leads to wonderful, silly matchups like yesterday: Big, ...
Paul Pogba And Zlatan Ibrahimović Come Off The Bench To Team Up For Manchester United's Winning Goal<em></em>
Three days after Zlatan Ibrahimović impressed with a hat trick against Saint-Étienne, here he is with a goal far prettier and more exciting than any of his three from Thursday:...
DNCE Stands For "Destroyed Nearby Crowd's Ears"
Move over, Aloe Blacc. There’s a new worst NBA All-Star-related musical performance, and it’s this hilariously off-key appearance by Joe Jonas....
Zlatan Ibrahimović Scores Hat Trick, Is Dad<em></em>
Today in Manchester United’s Europa League knockout match against Saint-Étienne, Zlatan Ibrahimović scored about the most unremarkable hat trick you’re likely to see. A poorly taken free kick that deflected in, a tap-in off a rebound, and a penalty. But the goals, bland as they were, aren’t the poin...
Peter King Got Irate At Bleacher Report Over A Dumb Tom Brady Quote<em></em>
Proprietor of Sports Illustrated’s MMQB and Tom Brady stenographer Peter King had a meltdown yesterday over a tweet from Bleacher Report:...
Beyoncé's Grammy Awards Performance, With Her Vocals Isolated
Beyoncé’s performance at tonight’s Grammy Awards was a thrill for some, baffling to others, but a tour de force by any measure. To best understand it, we’ve isolated her vocal track for your critical and cultural comprehension—and appreciation....
Report: Disgraced Former Baylor President Ken Starr Is The Frontrunner For A Post In Trump Administration
Ken Starr (yes, that Ken Starr) served as president of Baylor University until the summer of 2016, when he was ousted in the wake of Baylor’s sexual assault scandal. Starr claimed to have no knowledge of the series of alleged sexual assaults committed by football players, and even as he tried to sav...
The USMNT Can Party Now
Attention, attention: The United States Men’s National Team is cool again, just in time for spring break. Bruce Arena has released the team from the authoritarian hold of Jürgen Klinsmann and he’s ready to burn this motherfucker down....
Bricklayer Leads Semi-Pro Sutton United To FA Cup Fifth Round
Non-league Sutton United continued its miraculous run through the FA Cup with a 1-0 win over Championship side Leeds United thanks to a penalty scored by team captain Jamie Collins, who earns a living with his day job as a bricklayer....
Send Us Proof Of Ted Cruz Playing Basketball
Here at Deadspin.com, there’s nothing we love more than sport. So we were delighted to learn that perpetual failed candidate for president Ted Cruz started a weekly Senate basketball game in hopes of making his colleagues hate him less. Which is great for Ted Cruz, but doesn’t do much for us. We wan...
Wayne Rooney Becomes Manchester United's All-Time Top Scorer With Equalizer In Stoppage Time
Wayne Rooney became Manchester United’s all-time leading goal scorer in dramatic fashion today, with an equalizer in stoppage time against Stoke City today: ...
FA Cup Vape Life
Have something you think we should know? Email us at [email protected], call our confidential tips hotline at (347) 746-8471, or contact our writers directly, or use our SecureDrop system. You can also follow us on Twitter, like us on Facebook, and sign up for our newsletter!...
You Don't Have To Write This Shit If They're Not Paying You To
Over at Sports Illustrated, you can read an article about Tom Brady’s new line of sleepwear for A Company That Makes Stretchy Workout Stuff. The article contains the following lines:...
No, Canada
The U.S. beat Canada 3-1 at the World Juniors today to take Group B, and in doing so earned the raising of the Stars And Stripes. Alas, Canada was unable to complete that task either—and in doing so provided us one final cap-off of what was a stellar 2016 for this country....
Henrikh Mkhitaryan Was Offside But Who Cares Because This Goal Was Dope<em></em>
Henrikh Mkhitaryan has only gotten a handful of Premier League starts this season, a fact that has given United fans good reason to grumble. After you see the goal he scored against Sunderland today, you’ll understand why they want him on the pitch more often....