The Masters Page 9 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tiger Stands To Earn Someone Some Cash If He Keeps Up Infidelity
British bookmakers have set odds on whether Woods will "kiss an anonymous blonde" before stepping up to the first tee at Augusta. Photo unrelated, we hope. [AP]...

Augusta's Chauvinism Enabled Tiger, Says Masters Rabble Rouser
Tiger Woods's return at the Masters is fitting, because it's the mentality at that all-male club that drove him to cheat on his wife with an endless parade of floozies. That's Martha Burk's take on it, anyway....

Sergio Garcia Says Golf Is Hard!
After finishing 75 and 74 on the weekend, Garcia complained that the course is "too tricky" and not "fair" and something about mudballs in the fairway. Garcia was complaining before he even got to Augusta, he complained during the tournament and now he's complaining after, even trashing the sacred l...

A Boob Grab Unlike Any Other
It's easy to get caught up in the emotion of Sunday at The Masters, but few fans have the determination to use that frenzy to their advantage and sneak in a boob grope at 15....

Tiger Woods Somehow Not Winning Tiger Woods Invitational
Experts predict that Tigers Woods will use the third round of his major tournament to make a move on whatever golfers might be leading, setting himself up for a dramatic come-from-behind victory on Sunday....

Don't Call It A Comeback...No Really, Don't
John Daly quit drinking (again) and got lapband surgery. All that you know is at an end. Did I mention he's at Augusta, selling his worldly possessions out of an RV? Of course he is....

A Masters Update Unlike Any Other
Chad Campbell is -5 through seven. He's tied for the lead with Shingo Katayama. Yes, it's very early. [Masters Leaderboard]...

Skip Off The Pond, On To The Green, Nothing But Cup....
I wish there were a way to calculate the odds of anyone ever making this shot again. [Dogs Chasing Cars]...

TaylorMade Offers World's Safest Promotion
TaylorMade and Golfsmith.com will refund the cost of your driver if El Nino wins at Augusta. They will also buy you a house if John Daly is ever elected Senator....

Some Guy Other Than Tiger Wins Masters
There's something inherently charming about the ceremony that follows a Masters Championship. For winning the most prestigious golf tournament, you don't get a trophy, or a plaque, or an oversized check. You win a jacket. Here, friend, congratulations; have a jacket. Stay warm, friend....

Now, Sing Along With The Masters
Well, potato chip-inhaling ruminator, there are. And thanks to the crew at The Meaningful Collateral, you can listen to the Masters theme as it was originally intended: with treacly words....

The Masters Turns ESPN's Volume Down A Few Notches
From what we saw of it, we kind of enjoyed ESPN's Masters coverage yesterday. With all the screaming and beeping and what-not on the network anymore, it was almost pleasant to have the sleepiness inherent in Masters coverage wash over The Leader. A channel in which everyone seems afraid to raise the...

This Man Fathered A Swedecaublasian
ESPN's Masters Coverage has mostly enjoyable today, with Scott Van Pelt seemingly right at home covering all the yawwwwn thrilling action and excitement down at Augusta. It's safe to say that if Tiger's not in contention during the final round, the whole wall-to-wall coverage is a colossal failure....

The Masters Are Not Back Back Back
The Masters does begin tomorrow morning, at 8 a.m. (So set your alarms!) And, as mentioned last month, it will be telecast on ESPN, minus Chris Berman. We do not envy the exec who had to deliver that news to Boomer....

Your Deadspin Masters Preview
We don't know much about golf, but we do know that The Masters Are Important. Therefore, with the Big Golf Tournament That Doesn't Like Ladies teeing off tomorrow, we asked resident golf impresario Shane Bacon, of Dogs That Chase Cars, to preview it for us. So here goes....

Tiger, Or The No Name?
In almost every sport other than golf, we are conditioned to root for the underdog. When it comes down to the final moments, when two competitors face off for the ultimate prize, we feel compelled to get behind the guy trying to win his first title, rather than watching the old champion get another ...

Jesus Wins The Masters
I'd like to credit Zach Johnson for the win, but he keeps giving all the credit to Jesus. Hey, he won it, he gets to choose where the credit goes....

Phil Mickelson Is Not A Wooden-Shafted Legend
I had no idea that song had words. I liked it better before I discovered that earlier in the week ... and I didn't like it much then. It's nothing personal, but I want to beat that guy to death with a 9-iron....

Jim Nantz Is The Master
If you love scrambling for pars and conservative golf (as opposed to all the extreme high-risk golf out there), you should love today's Masters coverage. The course continues to play very tough, with most of today's players being well over par. A few have gotten to red numbers, though, with Tiger Wo...