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Guy In Charge Of Protecting Cam Newton On The Field Couldn't Protect Himself From Getting Knocked Out On The Street
Footage from a security camera caught Carolina Panthers guard Taylor Hearn getting knocked out cold while fighting someone who clearly did not match his 6-foot-4-inch frame or was anywhere near the lineman’s listed weight at 315 lbs. ...

Demand Better From Your Access Merchants
A reporter who trades in scoops should have only one responsibility: to get it right. Regardless of the size of the scoop, it can’t be bogus. Yes, sometimes sources mislead reporters to serve their own purposes. But there’s only a limited pool of sources for this kind of transactional stuff, anyway:...

Phil Mickelson And Joe Montana Swear They Did Not Partake In Any College Scamming When They Hired The College Scam Company<em></em>
The FBI recently busted a bunch of rich assholes who were trying to get their unsuspecting children into college the only way they knew how: by throwing money at the largely superficial roadblock life had put in front of them until it went away. At the center of this operation was an organization kn...

Scummy Sports Media Company Buys The Big Lead
The Big Lead, a sports website founded and run by Jason McIntyre of Fox Sports, may not be a particularly good or smart or relevant website, but one thing that it did have going for it was that it didn’t run on exploited labor like FanSided or SB Nation (Vox Media is facing two federal collective ac...

Get To Know The Rich Assholes Charged With Paying Millions In Bribes To Get Their Kids Into College
Parents obsessing over their kids getting into good colleges is nothing new, but committing actual crimes to make it happen would seemingly require a particular mindset and financial position. When the Justice Department announced yesterday charges and indictments in an absolutely batshit college ad...

Who Is We?
This past December, the New York Times ran a perfectly anodyne post promoting a new episode of The Daily, its popular podcast, and found itself mildly embarrassed. The problem wasn’t the actual substance of what it had published, a straightforward accounting of how the national-security establishmen...

The 2018(ish) Hater’s Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog
[greets you at the door while wearing a frayed holiday sweater; offers you curdled egg nog]...

These Are The College Coaches Accused Of Turning Rich Kids Into Fake Athletic Recruits<em></em>
By now you should be aware of the hilariously far-reaching college admissions bribery scandal unveiled after today’s FBI bust. If not, you’ve been missing out. College coaches and administrators were crucial to carrying out the scheme, falsely representing applicants as athletic recruits to boost th...

Here Are All The Incredible Details From The College Admissions Bribery Scandal<em></em>
Surely by now you have read about the hilarious FBI bust on and subsequent dismantling of The Edge College & Career Network (aka The Key), and its nefarious efforts to get the underachieving sons and daughters of the rich into colleges they either didn’t deserve to attend on merits or couldn’t bribe...

College Coaches Took Cash Bribes As Part Of Multi-Million Dollar College Admissions Scandal<em></em><em></em>
The FBI has busted open a multi-year and multi-million dollar cheating scandal that helped the kids of rich families get into “highly selective” universities by fudging their academic and athletic credentials, as reported by NBC News. The cheating scandal was centered around The Edge College & Caree...

Falling Light Pole At High School Soccer Game Injures Player, Breaks Referee's Leg
A light pole barely missed crushing a high school soccer referee’s head when it fell onto the field during a soccer game Saturday in Clarksville, Arkansas. The referee sustained two broken bones in his leg, and a player who was also hit suffered cuts to his head and legs, according to KFSM....

<em></em>Donald Trump Awards Donald Trump Trump's 20th Trump Golf Club Championship
According to people whose lives may well have depended upon it, the late North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il had an excellent golf game. One story told of Kim’s golf prowess crossed the demilitarized zone and become something of a minor meme: that Kim, while playing the first round of golf of his life...

<i>The Atlantic</i>: Let's Get Fascist So We Don't Have To Elect Fascists<em></em>
We must repel the barbarian horde, according to The Atlantic. ...

Northern Michigan University Alum Howard Schultz Wants Nothing To Do With His Alma Mater
Speed dead north on I-75 out of Detroit on dry roads and you will reach the Mackinac (pronounced Mack-i-naw) Bridge in a little over four hours. Once the largest suspension bridge in the world, it marks the end of Michigan’s lower peninsula. On the other side of the Mackinac Straights, at the narrow...

LSU Coach Will Wade Suspended Indefinitely Thanks To The NCAA's Crusade Against Paying Players
LSU suspended coach Will Wade on Friday in the wake of a report from Yahoo Sports that revealed Wade was caught on a wiretap speaking about making payments to current freshman guard Javonte Smart. In a phone conversation with Christian Dawkins—who was recently sentenced to six months in prison for w...

Barstool Sports Quietly Tries To Un-FuckJerry Itself, Deletes 60,000 Social Media Posts
Barstool Sports is seen as valuable not because it is read by many people, but because of its social media accounts, which boast millions of followers. The way those accounts operate was scrutinized this week after comedian Miel Bredouw called them out for taking one of her videos and uploading onto...

Does Bryce Harper Know Something We Don't?
A good way to tell that Major League Baseball’s free agent marketplace is not working the way that it’s supposed to work is the insistence of various establishment baseball media types that it is in fact working just fine. “Free agency is alive and well,” the former MLB GM Jim Bowden tweeted after B...

Matthew Tkachuk Sparked A Big Ol' Scrum By Being Matthew Tkachuk<em></em><em></em>
Calgary Flames forward Matthew Tkachuk, one of the most annoying dudes to play against in the NHL, picked up a ticky-tack goalie interference call that disallowed a goal in the first period of the Flames’ eventual 2-1 loss to the Golden Knights on Wednesday. So naturally, Tkachuk decided to go back ...

The "180" Call Turned Darts Into A True Spectacle And Became One Of The Best Sounds In Sports<em></em>
Watch enough professional darts competitions, and you will be treated to one of the most iconic calls in sports: “OOOONE-HUUUUNDRED-AND-EIIIIIGHTEE!” The call, shouted by referees around the world, tends to follow a similar cadence and inflection: starting as a bass-rattling bellow, soaring in pitch...

Report: Another SafeSport Ban Got Overturned, This Time In Weightlifting
In February of last year, the U.S. Center for SafeSport found that American weightlifter Colin Burns had committed “non-consensual sexual acts” with another weightlifter and banned him—but that ban didn’t even last six months, the Orange County Register reported yesterday. Instead, the ban was overt...