the Page 523 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Panthers Landed Joel Quenneville, So Now You Might Have To Care About Them
The Florida Panthers cut off what could have been a long and dramatic summer of negotiation and landed the most coveted coach on the market just a few days after their disappointing year came to an end. Three-time Stanley Cup winner Joel Quenneville, who was fired early in the season by the Blackhaw...
In Anaheim, Bees
A swarm of bees took over the bullpens in Sunday’s match up between the Angels and Rangers. The buzzing action peaked in the fifth when Texas reliever Kyle Bird was preparing to come in at the bottom of the inning, but ultimately had to leave the bullpen to warm up elsewhere because the insect invas...
Idiot In The Ring Tackles Bret Hart During WWE Hall Of Fame Ceremony
Tonight’s WWE Hall of Fame ceremony in Brooklyn was briefly derailed when a person in a rasta cap jumped into the ring and took down wrestler Bret Hart during his speech. How much did Vince McMahon pay that guy?...
Matheus Cunha Caps Off RB Leipzig's Comeback Win Over Bayer Leverkusen With An Utterly Disrespectful Goal
Things quickly fell apart for Bayer Leverkusen just over on hour into their match against RB Leipzig on Saturday. After leading most of the match 2-1, Timo Werner tied things up with a solid strike from inside the box. Emil Forsberg then gave his squad a 3-2 lead over their opponents after convertin...
Northern Kentucky Basketball Players Say Emotionally Abusive Coach Pitted Players Against Each Other
On March 25, graduating senior Taryn Taugher of the Northern Kentucky Norse women’s basketball team wrote a lengthy article in The Odyssey claiming that she was repeatedly verbally abused by head coach Camryn Whitaker. Several other former players have since come forward and alleged that Whitaker be...
Wealthy Dad Who Bought Harvard Fencing Coach's House Insists It Had Nothing To Do With His Son Getting Into Harvard
Harvard is the latest school to get dragged into the college admissions bribery scandal, although this shady dealing is unrelated to the FBI’s bust. Today the Boston Globe published a doozy of a story about a rich dad who was hoping to get his younger son into Harvard, just so happened to buy the Cr...
It's Time To Run Down The 2019 Name Of The Year Bracket
Stipulate first that, when it comes to the annual Name of the Year Bracket, there are no winners, no losers, and no wrong answers. Every one of the names in the bracket—the psychedelic syllable pileups, the brazen onomatopoeias, the pokerfaced puns, all of them—is blessed, and a blessing in turn. Th...
Here's What To Expect From An Exceptionally Overstuffed WrestleMania
It’s that time of year: Springtime, when casual wrestling fans return to the fold for WrestleMania and its many surrounding events. Perhaps this is happening to you, whether of your own volition or because you are being dragged into it by a friend or family member. If you’re rusty, this year’s overs...
Name Of The Year First Round: Chrotchtangle Regional
Today we’re talking about that famous heavy-duty generic paper-based product we all know and love. That’s right, folks, it’s cardboard time. You can fold it, you can recycle it, and lord knows you can corrugate it. But can you … Smurfit?...
Matthew Stafford's Wife Kelly Announces She's Having Surgery For A Brain Tumor
Kelly Stafford, wife of Lions QB Matthew Stafford, announced via her Instagram today that she will have brain surgery later this month after a recent MRI uncovered a tumor. Stafford said doctors discovered an acoustic neuroma on her cranial nerves; thankfully, the tumor is benign....
Donald Trump Is Never More Donald Trump Than When He's Cheating At Golf
“There are so many ways he just throws up all over golf,” Rick Reilly told The Ringer’s Bryan Curtis for a story that was sort of about Reilly’s active retirement and also about Reilly’s new book on President Donald Trump’s life of crime on the golf course. That book is called Commander In Cheat, an...
Name Of The Year First Round: Dragonwagon Regional
Dragonwagon Regional namesake Crescent Dragonwagon is up front about her name: She changed it from Ellen Zolotow when she was a 16-year-old counterculture bride. But the corners of the internet that supply our bracket fodder don’t always offer such clarity. This year’s Dragonwagon contenders contain...
Name Of The Year First Round: Sithole Regional
You could probably think of a famous Johnny with Google-like quickness. Johnny Appleseed. Johnny Cash. Johnny Bench. Wikipedia lists dozens of notable Johnnys, and beyond that dozens more fictional Johnnys. Perhaps you even have a beloved Johnny in your life. An uncle or a cousin? Or maybe you’re a ...
Name Of The Year First Round: Bulltron Regional
Vinay Pimplé doesn’t need your sympathy....
Cat On The Field Interrupts Korean Baseball Game
Ah, baseball. The crack of the bat, the smell of hot dogs, the pitter patter of wittle paws as a cat scampers across the field....
MLB Presents A Championship Belt To The Team That Keeps Salaries Lowest In Arbitration
An agent mentioned The Belt to me once, and I thought he was joking. This is not me doing that thing where reporters try to downplay someone else’s scoop by letting you know they already knew a thing, even though they didn’t report it, which makes them completely useless. This is me trying to convey...
Reports: A $15 Candle, Purchased As A Prank, Is What Got Jordan Bell Suspended
The uncommonly complex saga of the one-game suspension of Warriors second-year center Jordan Bell took another twist Thursday. To recap: Bell was suspended from Wednesday’s game in Memphis because he reportedly charged a purchase at the team hotel to the bill of assistant coach Mike Brown. Initial r...
Australian Shopping Center Terrorized By A Pair Of Hellion Nine-Year-Olds
Two extremely, ah, feisty(?) nine-year-old girls went on an absolute fucking rampage at the Helensvale Shopping Centre in Gold Coast, Queensland, Australia yesterday. And by “absolute fucking rampage” I mean that they abused an old lady, spat on, punched, and kicked a security guard, and danced on a...
Who's Living In Whose Head Rent-Free Lately?
The phrase “living rent-free in your head” has lived rent-free in my head for some time. It feels symptomatic of the deep rot at the core of almost all human interaction online. These days it spews out of the mouths of the craven and the righteous, the world-famous and the anonymously online. Depre...
Holy Shit, The Mets Actually Paid Jacob deGrom
For an offseason defined by a glacial market, collusion-adjacent bad vibes, and the inexplicable unemployment of a number of useful big league free agents with opening day now in sight, the last week or so has been very busy. Instead of entering what is clearly a badly malfunctioning free agent mark...