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More Than You Probably Wanted To Know About The Rules On A Puck Hitting A Ref's Dick And Balls
Just an excellent hockey highlight from Tuesday’s 4-3 Blues win over the Panthers, as St. Louis defenseman Robert Bortuzzo—fresh off of beating the hell out of a teammate in practice—tried to dump in a puck and ended up banking it off of referee Tim Peel’s biscuits, past goalie Roberto Luongo, and i...
Goal Disallowed After Puck Ricochets Off Unfortunate Referee's Dick And Balls
The Florida Panthers are up on the St. Louis Blues by the score of 1–0 in the second period Tuesday night. The score looked for a moment like it would be tied at one goal apiece, after Blues defenseman Robert Bortuzzo beat Roberto Luongo in, um, unconventional fashion:...
Here Are Some Of The Interesting And Horrifying Revelations From The Larry Nassar Report
Yesterday, Ropes & Gray, the law firm commissioned by the USOC to investigate the various institutional and individual failures that enabled Larry Nassar to abuse hundreds of gymnasts for decades, issued a report on their findings . The biggest revelation—that Alan Ashley, chief of sports performanc...
No Offense, But Adam Ottavino Would Make Babe Ruth Look Like A Sack Of Pig Assholes<em></em>
There might be a couple of outliers, but for the most part, current players in any major sport would easily defeat the sport’s early legends. It’s not their fault. The older dudes were the best of their era—and some of those eras still had the color line—but they would not be the best in a later era...
Of Course Lionel Messi Has Become A Master Of Free Kicks
Lionel Messi is slowing down. It’s a painful thing to admit, but it’s true. As the old saw goes, Father Time is undefeated, and there is no greater testament to how unbelievable Messi was at his peak than the fact that he remains far and away the best player in the world in spite of Father Time’s ef...
Normal Man Donald Trump Hilariously Fucks Up Army-Navy Coin Toss
There are many compelling reasons why a reasonable person might not want to be President of the United States. The hours and stress and travel are crushing, because the broader responsibility of the job is so crushing. What a president can or cannot actually do to alter the broader course of things...
![Ropes & Gray Nassar Investigation Paints Damning Picture Of USOC And USA Gymnastics [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/yt5dsz3kmac8v0i1swj0.jpg)
Ropes & Gray Nassar Investigation Paints Damning Picture Of USOC And USA Gymnastics [Update]
On Monday, the law firm Ropes & Gray released its 252-page report into the institutional failures that enabled Larry Nassar’s decades-long abuse of women and girls in his role of USA Gymnastics physician. The investigation, which was commissioned by the board of the USOC in February 2018—more than a...
A Note On Drew
Irredeemable Vikings fan and beloved voice of Deadspin Drew Magary has been moved to the injured reserve list after an accident last week. He is receiving the best possible care, is surrounded by his family and friends, and is doing well under the circumstances. We miss his randomly capitalized exub...
Stupid Rules Prevent Former UCLA Player From Winning Free Car After Winning Promotional Contest
College basketball promotional contests have a way of displaying the athletic ineptitude of fellow classmates or visiting alumni to the delight of an observing crowd. But every now and again, someone will show up to dominate the competition in way that’s just as exciting....
Northern Michigan Ices Game Against Rivals With First Goalie Goal In Program History
With less than two minutes left in regulation, the Michigan Tech Huskies pulled their goalie as they attempted to chip away at what was then a 4-2 deficit against their rivals: the Northern Michigan Wildcats. This move gave NMU goaltender Atte Tolvanen the window he needed to make history. Less than...
The Kid Who Previously Lived Near Akron Has Returned
Today, Adrian Wojnarowski reported that the Cleveland Cavaliers and Milwaukee Bucks will be swapping some junk in boxes from their respective garages. The trade is centered around guard George Hill, who’s shooting 46.4 percent from three and could be useful to Milwaukee, but the real draw here is A...
Heroic Doggy Keeper Rescues Blundering Human Keeper With Great, Adorable Save
Juventud Unida beat Defensores de Belgrano 3-0 on Sunday in Argentina’s third division. The home team would’ve won by even more after a goalkeeping boner gifted Juventud the ball and an open net, but for the perfectly timed intervention by the most adorable and effective idiot on the field we’ve yet...
The NCAA Will Never Give UCF A Chance
The College Football Playoff bracket was set yesterday—pitting Alabama against Oklahoma and Clemson against Notre Dame—and for the second year in a row, the undefeated UCF Knights are nowhere to be found. Just as they had to settle for the Peach Bowl against Auburn last season, UCF will play LSU, a...
Patrick Beverley Ejected After Throwing Ball At Fan He Says Told Him “Fuck Your Mother”
Patrick Beverley had an eventful game on Sunday! In the third quarter, the Clippers guard knocked out Dennis Smith’s tooth while diving for a loose ball. But it was the fourth quarter where Beverley got into it with a fan—and got ejected....
![Report: White Supremacists Tricked Brett Favre Into Making A Customized Anti-Semitic Video Shoutout [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/jmkxv1t43iuh1b8plh0a.jpg)
Report: White Supremacists Tricked Brett Favre Into Making A Customized Anti-Semitic Video Shoutout [Update]
The app Cameo allows anyone to pay for a personalized video message from a list of celebrities and pseudo-celebrities. Have one of the myriad Real Housewives wish your partner a happy birthday! Ask Billy Zane to congratulate your friend on getting married! Get Brett Favre to unwittingly recite coded...
Akron And South Carolina Will Play The Most Meaningless Game Of The College Football Season
On Wednesday, the University of South Carolina was compelled to issue a clarification regarding the tickets it was planning to give away for this Saturday’s home game against Akron at Williams-Brice Stadium. Yes, the upper level tickets were indeed free as reported but no, and this part was importan...
Shaq Unveils Innovative New Player Ranking System
At this point, TNT’s NBA studio show is good for one thing: watching the bleary-eyed hosts agitate and confuse the hell out of each other. Confusion reigned during last night’s episode when Shaquille O’Neal spent nearly two minutes trying to turn his co-hosts’ brains into soup....
Here's A Fair Way To Pay College Athletes For Their Labor
At the end of October, federal prosecutors succeeded in proving something that every college sports fan alive already knew. With the help of FBI wiretaps, defendants Jim Gatto, Merl Code, and Christian Dawkins were found guilty in federal court of wire fraud and conspiracy to commit wire fraud. The...
Here's A Really Bizarre Stat About The Steelers
The Steelers lost to the Broncos on Sunday in Denver, in a game that seemed to make no sense: They outgained the Broncos by more than 200 yards, with Ben Roethlisberger throwing for 462 yards—the fourth-highest total of his career. They lost largely because they turned the ball over four times, incl...
Please Enjoy This Enormous Australian Cow
What you’re looking at here is a cow named Knickers, a Holstein Friesian that lives on a farm in Western Australia with a bunch of other regulation-size cows that honestly look laughably small—like a child’s toys, like a dull child’s stupid playthings—in comparison. This is because Knickers, per Per...