the Page 531 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Akron And South Carolina Will Play The Most Meaningless Game Of The College Football Season
On Wednesday, the University of South Carolina was compelled to issue a clarification regarding the tickets it was planning to give away for this Saturday’s home game against Akron at Williams-Brice Stadium. Yes, the upper level tickets were indeed free as reported but no, and this part was importan...
Shaq Unveils Innovative New Player Ranking System
At this point, TNT’s NBA studio show is good for one thing: watching the bleary-eyed hosts agitate and confuse the hell out of each other. Confusion reigned during last night’s episode when Shaquille O’Neal spent nearly two minutes trying to turn his co-hosts’ brains into soup....
Here's A Fair Way To Pay College Athletes For Their Labor
At the end of October, federal prosecutors succeeded in proving something that every college sports fan alive already knew. With the help of FBI wiretaps, defendants Jim Gatto, Merl Code, and Christian Dawkins were found guilty in federal court of wire fraud and conspiracy to commit wire fraud. The...
Here's A Really Bizarre Stat About The Steelers
The Steelers lost to the Broncos on Sunday in Denver, in a game that seemed to make no sense: They outgained the Broncos by more than 200 yards, with Ben Roethlisberger throwing for 462 yards—the fourth-highest total of his career. They lost largely because they turned the ball over four times, incl...
Please Enjoy This Enormous Australian Cow
What you’re looking at here is a cow named Knickers, a Holstein Friesian that lives on a farm in Western Australia with a bunch of other regulation-size cows that honestly look laughably small—like a child’s toys, like a dull child’s stupid playthings—in comparison. This is because Knickers, per Per...
Ass Team Of The Week: Oh Yeah, The San Francisco 49ers Still Play Football
Every person that cares about NFL football was freed from having to pay any attention to the San Francisco 49ers at the moment quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo tore his ACL in Week 3. They briefly rose to notice when rookie quarterback Nick Mullens had a decent game on Thursday Night Football, but for th...
College Basketball's New Ranking Metric Is Already Just As Weird As RPI
Before this season, the NCAA announced that they were killing RPI—the long-maligned metric for determining who should make the NCAA Tournament—and replacing it with a new metric called NET. The move, on its face, was a good one: RPI was a terrible ranking system that only factored in winning percen...
In Shocking Betrayal, Penn Basketball Ditches Cheesesteaks For Fish Burritos
The Penn men’s basketball team is 5-2 so far this year; freshman Michael Wang has been particularly impressive. Their losses are to Kansas State and Oregon State. The only blip this season so far is losing Ryan Betley for the season five minutes into the opening game. (Penn rallied to win at George ...
Derek Carr Has Joined His Brother David In Stat Hell
Ravens linebacker Matthew Judon sacked Raiders QB Derek Carr on three consecutive offensive plays during Baltimore’s 34-17 win Sunday. That’s a rare accomplishment. Since 1982, only one other player has sacked the quarterback three straight times in one game: Colts defensive end Brad Scioli, who did...
Matthew Judon Makes Derek Carr's Life Hell With Three Consecutive Sacks
Third-year linebacker Matthew Judon is a rising star who is on his way to making a name for himself as the next great member of the Baltimore Ravens’ defense. Today’s performance against the Raiders should certainly help that goal. While Baltimore’s defense wasn’t at its best, it still managed to ge...
Grinch Burns, Ranked
1. Your soul is an appalling dump heap, overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable, mangled up in tangled-up knots....
Somebody Get Matthew Stafford Some Damn Weapons!
Unless you’re a Bears fan, Thursday’s 23-16 Lions loss against Chicago was a boring, depressing way to start Thanksgiving. Both teams’ offenses came out with extremely conservative, mostly ineffective game plans, and while that could be excused with Chicago QB Chase Daniel making the emergency start...
If Pro Wrestling Is Art, Daniel Bryan Is His Generation's Master
Welcome back, Daniel Bryan....
Vincent Trocheck Taken Off Ice On Stretcher After His Leg Does Several Wrong Things All At Once
Vincent Trocheck of the Florida Panthers was stretchered off the ice Monday night after twisting and bending his right leg in horrifying fashion. In hockey parlance, this is just another lower body injury; in layman’s terms, Trocheck’s leg bends too far at the knee, and in too many directions below ...
This Shit Is Corny
You may have seen a quote from Giants star receiver Odell Beckham Jr. going around this morning, about the New York Giants’ chances of winning the rest of their games and making the playoffs at 9-7. “Six games left, it’s really only crazy until you do it,” Beckham told reporters, as if he were in a ...
Harvard Touchdown Called Back After Running Back Flipped Yale's Defense The Bird
Sophomore running back Devin Darrington got a little too into the Harvard-Yale rivalry today. Up 28-27, the Crimson handed the ball off to their tailback to put themselves up eight points over the Bulldogs. When Darrington hit the 10-yard line, he gave a parting gift to the trailing Yale defenders a...
Alabama Gives Up First November Touchdown To The Citadel
Alabama’s defense has been quite good this month. Both Mississippi State and LSU laid up big fat goose eggs against the Crimson Tide, despite both teams being worthy of top-25 rankings. But The Citadel Bulldogs, a non-conference visiting opponent, had no issue breaking that scoreless trend against t...
If USA Gymnastics Dies, What Takes Its Place?<em></em>
Until two years ago, there was no question over who controlled gymnastics in the United States. USA Gymnastics, the sport’s national governing body, had been in charge of administering the sport at every level, from novice all the way up through elite, since the early 1960s. Other organizations had ...
There Should Always Be A Big Game On Saturday Night
One of my friends hosted a Halloween party at his house on the same night as Game 4 of the World Series. Many people, in fact, were hosting parties on the same night as Game 4 of the World Series, because the game occurred during Halloween weekend on a Saturday night. Parties, as I hope you know, fr...