the Page 532 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Ass Team Of The Week: Oh Yeah, The San Francisco 49ers Still Play Football
Every person that cares about NFL football was freed from having to pay any attention to the San Francisco 49ers at the moment quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo tore his ACL in Week 3. They briefly rose to notice when rookie quarterback Nick Mullens had a decent game on Thursday Night Football, but for th...
College Basketball's New Ranking Metric Is Already Just As Weird As RPI
Before this season, the NCAA announced that they were killing RPI—the long-maligned metric for determining who should make the NCAA Tournament—and replacing it with a new metric called NET. The move, on its face, was a good one: RPI was a terrible ranking system that only factored in winning percen...
In Shocking Betrayal, Penn Basketball Ditches Cheesesteaks For Fish Burritos
The Penn men’s basketball team is 5-2 so far this year; freshman Michael Wang has been particularly impressive. Their losses are to Kansas State and Oregon State. The only blip this season so far is losing Ryan Betley for the season five minutes into the opening game. (Penn rallied to win at George ...
Derek Carr Has Joined His Brother David In Stat Hell
Ravens linebacker Matthew Judon sacked Raiders QB Derek Carr on three consecutive offensive plays during Baltimore’s 34-17 win Sunday. That’s a rare accomplishment. Since 1982, only one other player has sacked the quarterback three straight times in one game: Colts defensive end Brad Scioli, who did...
Matthew Judon Makes Derek Carr's Life Hell With Three Consecutive Sacks
Third-year linebacker Matthew Judon is a rising star who is on his way to making a name for himself as the next great member of the Baltimore Ravens’ defense. Today’s performance against the Raiders should certainly help that goal. While Baltimore’s defense wasn’t at its best, it still managed to ge...
Grinch Burns, Ranked
1. Your soul is an appalling dump heap, overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable, mangled up in tangled-up knots....
Somebody Get Matthew Stafford Some Damn Weapons!
Unless you’re a Bears fan, Thursday’s 23-16 Lions loss against Chicago was a boring, depressing way to start Thanksgiving. Both teams’ offenses came out with extremely conservative, mostly ineffective game plans, and while that could be excused with Chicago QB Chase Daniel making the emergency start...
If Pro Wrestling Is Art, Daniel Bryan Is His Generation's Master
Welcome back, Daniel Bryan....
Vincent Trocheck Taken Off Ice On Stretcher After His Leg Does Several Wrong Things All At Once
Vincent Trocheck of the Florida Panthers was stretchered off the ice Monday night after twisting and bending his right leg in horrifying fashion. In hockey parlance, this is just another lower body injury; in layman’s terms, Trocheck’s leg bends too far at the knee, and in too many directions below ...
This Shit Is Corny
You may have seen a quote from Giants star receiver Odell Beckham Jr. going around this morning, about the New York Giants’ chances of winning the rest of their games and making the playoffs at 9-7. “Six games left, it’s really only crazy until you do it,” Beckham told reporters, as if he were in a ...
Harvard Touchdown Called Back After Running Back Flipped Yale's Defense The Bird
Sophomore running back Devin Darrington got a little too into the Harvard-Yale rivalry today. Up 28-27, the Crimson handed the ball off to their tailback to put themselves up eight points over the Bulldogs. When Darrington hit the 10-yard line, he gave a parting gift to the trailing Yale defenders a...
Alabama Gives Up First November Touchdown To The Citadel
Alabama’s defense has been quite good this month. Both Mississippi State and LSU laid up big fat goose eggs against the Crimson Tide, despite both teams being worthy of top-25 rankings. But The Citadel Bulldogs, a non-conference visiting opponent, had no issue breaking that scoreless trend against t...
If USA Gymnastics Dies, What Takes Its Place?<em></em>
Until two years ago, there was no question over who controlled gymnastics in the United States. USA Gymnastics, the sport’s national governing body, had been in charge of administering the sport at every level, from novice all the way up through elite, since the early 1960s. Other organizations had ...
There Should Always Be A Big Game On Saturday Night
One of my friends hosted a Halloween party at his house on the same night as Game 4 of the World Series. Many people, in fact, were hosting parties on the same night as Game 4 of the World Series, because the game occurred during Halloween weekend on a Saturday night. Parties, as I hope you know, fr...
This Is Just What It's Always Going To Be Like Now
It never takes much. Tubbs started when some power lines blew over. All it took for Carr to roar to life was a flat tire. Thomas was born of a utility malfunction. Camp was probably the same. Their beginnings almost don’t matter, since the story of each of those historic wildfires, and all the fires...
Tracy McGrady: Carmelo Anthony Should Just Retire
Soon-to-be former Rocket Carmelo Anthony missed his third straight game tonight with what the team is calling an “illness,” though he’s really been held out since a disastrous game against the Thunder because the Rockets are in the process of getting rid of him and want to save face as they unceremo...
Borussia Dortmund Defender Manuel Akanji Is The King Of Quick Maths
Last year, British rapper Big Shaq took the world by storm with an incredible freestyle performance during which he posed and solved a series of math equations mid-rap. It’s taken a while, but someone has finally surpassed Big Shaq’s show of numerical genius with even quicker, more complex maths. Th...
The 49ers And Giants Are Playing Monday Night Football In Some Very Nasty Air
The Camp Fire started in Butte County last Thursday, and it’s already become both the deadliest and most destructive wildfire in California history. The entire town of Paradise is just gone, as the town of 26,000 people was swallowed by the blaze in horrifying fashion shortly after the fire started ...
This Ain't It, Team That Appropriates A Chief
The Skins beat the Buccaneers 16-3 yesterday, and apparently a victory over a three-win squad gave some social media doofus the gumption to try to dunk on the losers online....