the Page 564 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Live Dog Mascot Runs Over Women's College Basketball Player During Game<em></em>
The first quarter of Wednesday’s women’s college basketball game between Drew University (N.J.) and Moravian College (Penn.) ended bizarrely when one of Moravian’s live greyhound mascots had a run-in with a Drew player. It’s hard to be more specific beyond a “run-in,” because it happened away from t...
Manchester United Need To Stay The Fuck Away From Our Wonderteen
The good thing about having one of the soccer world’s most coveted young attacking prospects is that the eyes of the game’s biggest clubs will be focused on the kid, each team projecting out his possibly incredible future and positioning themselves to snatch it for themselves if they so decide to ma...
Auston Matthews Can Stickhandle His Way Out Of Any Peril
Auston Matthews announced his NHL arrival last season by taking on the entire Senators line single-handedly and winning, thanks to his unreal stickhandling, and he gave us a near-reprise tonight against the very same team. Matthews started with his back to the net in the offensive zone, then maneuve...
Floyd Mayweather Offers The Most Predictable Take On "Me Too" Movement<em></em>
Floyd Mayweather, a moron and serial domestic abuser, is hanging around the Consumer Electronics Show in Vegas hawking some sort of virtual reality boxing setup, which he says—oh God, who cares. Men’s Health interviewed the semi-retired boxer and he somehow stayed on topic for most of it, dodging a ...
Report: Panthers Could Put That New Stadium On Some Guy's Farm, Sure, Why Not
Carolina Panthers owner Jerry Richardson, who was recently accused of sexual harassment and getting racist with team employees, will soon sell his stake in the team. It’s not clear who will buy the team yet, though the end of the Panthers’ season on Sunday means that the process is now underway. Did...
The Sports Highlight Of The Day Is This Full-Court Putt
Clemson University student Christopher Carns picked a particularly prime opportunity to be really, really accurate, sinking a 94-foot putt across the school’s basketball court to win $10,000....
Man Arrested At Girls J.V. Basketball Game: "I Regret Punching The Ref In The Face"
A good apology does not waste time delicately circling around the point, a good apology shows remorse, a good apology does not redirect blame. An example of a good apology: “I regret punching the ref in the face. It was an emotional response. I shouldn’t have done it. I’m sorry.”...
May All Your Failures End Up As Serendipitously As This Soccer Coach's Attempt To Lean Against A Fence
I don’t think I’ve ever done anything on purpose with the poise and commitment that Marius Sumudica, manager of the Turkish soccer team Kayserispor, brings to playing off this accidental fall so that it looks like he intended all along to lower himself into a metal hammock. Seems comfy. ...
I Am Now A Flu Shot Truther And I Hate Myself For It<em></em>
Your letters: ...
What Weird New Behavior Will Donald Trump Display At The National Championship Game?<em></em>
A year and change into his first term in office, it’s still honestly kind of hard to tell why Donald Trump ran for president. At this point, we know enough about him to assume both 1) that it had nothing to do with any of the reasons he offered on the campaign trail and 2) that it’s probably somethi...
Does The Panthers' Excuse For Cam Newton's Very Brief Concussion Exam Pass Muster?
The NFL and NFLPA are reportedly investigating the circumstances surrounding that massive hit to the brain Cam Newton took in the fourth quarter of yesterday’s loss to New Orleans. Newton was slow to get up after it happened. He fell to the ground as he left the field. He was tested for a concussion...
<i>SI</i>'s Website Is So Bad Peter King Can't Even Tweet Proper Links To His Stories
Sports Illustrated’s website is a modern marvel, in that it seems to drive people away from the good work that’s squished between various modules and distractions. The site is so bad that Sports Illustrated’s biggest name, Peter King, now tweets out an alternate version of a hyperlink to pieces on h...
René Magritte As Philosophical Detective
This essay was originally published in the Threepenny Review (1994), is featured in Sante’s anthology, Kill All Your Darlings, and appears here with the author’s permission....
For No Reason, Here's A Ridiculously Tight Cam Newton Throw
I flagged this yesterday in the hopes there’d be some larger context to use it today, but after the Saints’ 31-26 win over the Panthers, there’s really not. Which is fine! It’s fine to look at a cool throw for its own sake. This is a cannon....
Panthers Rally Around Disgraced Owner Jerry Richardson One Last Time
The Panthers were eliminated from the playoffs yesterday, meaning that owner Jerry Richardson’s active stewardship of the team has all but come to an end. Last month, Richardson put the team up for sale after it was revealed that he’d been accused of multiple instances of sexual harassment and racis...
Cam Newton Never Had A Chance
Cameron Jordan—Pro Bowler, first-team All-Pro, serious candidate for defensive player of the year—loves shit-talking the Panthers. The DE has had ample opportunity, with the Saints beating Carolina three times this season, including Sunday’s 31-26 playoff win. He’s gone back and forth with Cam Newto...
Cam Newton Sits Down While Trying To Leave The Field After Getting Sacked
Panthers QB Cam Newton took a head-on collision from David Onyemata while trying to avoid a sack in the fourth quarter of his game against the Saints. The hit looked painful on its own, but what’s especially concerning is what happened after. Newton initially tried to leave the field, but couldn’t m...
Matthew Dellavedova Ejected After Taking Down Bradley Beal
Tonight’s Bucks-Wizards game is a tight one, but Milwaukee is finishing it out without guard Matthew Dellavedova after the Australian earned a flagrant 2 ejection for demolishing Bradley Beal. He is fortunate the official punishment is all that he suffered....
Ball Brothers’ Lithuanian Team Abandons Baltic League To Play Family Shoe-Branded Exhibition<em></em>
Who’s ready for the debuts of LaMelo and LiAngelo Ball??? Hopefully not fans of the Baltic League, because Vytautas Prienai announced today that they’d be pulling out of the Baltic Sea region’s second-most prestigious tournament to play in something called the Big Baller Brand Challenge Games, which...
A Major-League Team Is Not A Business<em></em>
You don’t need any insight into the inner workings of the Miami Marlins to understand why the franchise is currently in the midst of stripping itself of every decent player making even a modest salary. The team was just purchased by a bunch of people who couldn’t really afford it, and now they need ...