the Page 611 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Harlem's One-Antlered Deer Dies Of Pointless, Endless Political Feud
Today, a white-tailed, one-antlered deer that delighted crowds of Harlem residents for weeks died of stress and fear because the governor of New York is in a perpetual juvenile pissing match with the mayor of New York City....
Sage Northcutt Tries Out Shit Talking, Enjoys It
Sage Northcutt is fighting Mickey Gall tomorrow in Sacramento, and he’s spent most of his time in California’s state capitol doing flips, grinning, and ripping apples. He also did a bit of media, which included something approaching real actual shit talk from the UFC’s 20-year-old Val Kilmer cosplay...
Tonight On ESPN Classic
Have something you think we should know? Email us at [email protected], call our confidential tips hotline at (347) 746-8471, or contact our writers directly, or use our SecureDrop system. You can also follow us on Twitter, like us on Facebook, and sign up for our newsletter!...
The <i>Inside The NBA</i> Crew Remembers Craig Sager
Before the start of tonight’s Bucks-Bulls game on TNT, the Inside The NBA crew reminisced about their years working with the late Craig Sager. Ernie Johnson was off tonight due to an illness in the family, but he produced a video tribute for Sager, after which Kenny Smith, Charles Barkley, Shaq, and...
Sage Northcutt Is Running Wild In Sacramento<em></em>
It’s a dull, dreary day here in Northern California, as long-awaited rainstorms are replenishing the state’s meager water supplies and keeping citizens indoors sulking. That, however, is not nearly enough to dampen the spirits of the UFC’s premier Ken doll/golden retriever, Sage Northcutt, who is in...
Hall Of Fame Voter Who Wants To Fight Curt Schilling Gives Up Hall Of Fame Vote
God, it’s “Get worked up about shitty Hall of Fame takes” season again. Every year I go in feeling optimistic—Oh, maybe my guy will get in this year!—and by mid-December I’d rather pull out my fingernails one by one than look at yet another goddamn ballot with two bewildering selections on it. ...
DeMarcus Cousins Is On The Sacramento Kings
DeMarcus Cousins is on the Sacramento Kings. He is not on the Boston Celtics. His time on the Boston Celtics has not gone well or poorly, because he has not had any time on the Boston Celtics, because all of his time has been on the Sacramento Kings. (Also he is not on any other teams, except for th...
Today In College Football Programs Setting Money On Fire: Clemson Has A Giant Slide
If you think college football players should be paid real money for their labor, then I’ve got one question for you, tough guy: Where’s the money to pay them with going to come from, huh?...
How The Fuck High Was This <i>New Yorker</i> Guy When He Wrote This <i>Star Wars</i> Take?
Listen. I am not going to try to unpack and critique the bonkers Rogue One review published by the New Yorker’s Richard Brody today. I do not even know where to begin. I am just going to blockquote some portions down below this paragraph, and I invite you to join me in making halting, inarticulate, ...
Shea McClellin Pulled Off A Perfect Leap Over The Ravens' Offensive Line
Malcolm Butler made a perfect deflection on third down to put the Ravens’ best player (kicker Justin Tucker) on the field for a 34-yard field goal attempt. Tucker missed his first field goal attempt of the year on the attempt, but it was through no fault of his own. Patriots linebacker Shea McClelli...
Craziest People In New York City Located
You can rent yourself a perfectly spacious one bedroom apartment in Brooklyn or Queens for well under $2,000. Or not!...
Good Job, Good Effort
Have something you think we should know? Email us at [email protected], call our confidential tips hotline at (347) 746-8471, or contact our writers directly, or use our SecureDrop system. You can also follow us on Twitter, like us on Facebook, and sign up for our newsletter!...
Chargers RB Melvin Gordon Carted Off With Hip Injury After Trying To Recover Fumble
San Diego Chargers running back Melvin Gordon was carted off the field after getting injured at the bottom of a pile in the first quarter today against the Carolina Panthers....
This <i>Seinfeld</i> Reboot Sucks
Donald Trump, who will be spending the next four years traveling around the country doing stand-up, took some time today to give his hungry constituents what they crave: good, clean observational humor. ...
We Are Losing The War On Inequality And It's Not Even Close
This decade has been the one in which the American mainstream finally realized we have a profound economic inequality problem. It is only now becoming clear just how far we are from turning this around. ...
The More We Learn About The Mixed Martial Arts Athletes Association, The Shadier It Seems
As pretty much everybody saw coming, things aren’t going so well with the Mixed Martial Arts Athletes Association—the latest attempt at forming a sort of fighters union—and former Bellator founder and CEO Bjorn Rebney’s presence in the group is already threatening to ruin it....
Manchester United Might Play On A Pitch That's More Ice Than Grass
Soccer is an all-season sport that is often played on snowy pitches in the dead of winter. It is not, however, traditionally played on a frozen tundra that, when you step on it, makes sounds like you’re walking on a frozen pond. And yet that may be the case for Manchester United’s away trip to Ukrai...
The 2016 Hater’s Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog
I was on the Jersey Turnpike when I saw it. I was driving my family to New York for Thanksgiving and there, along the shittiest stretch of road in the shittiest state in America, I saw the Williams-Sonoma fulfillment center: a vast hangar that seemed to stretch a mile long, with shipping containers ...
The Sports Highlight Of The Day Is This Dog
This gag usually entails videos that aren’t sports, and come on genuinely slow news days. Well, this is absolutely sports, and no matter what sort of highlight-reel dunks or goals come tonight, this is better....
This Storm Sure Looks Like Something
This wind storm is only a little bit excited about showing up in Portland....