the Page 719 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Great Ape: <em>Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes</em>, Reviewed
Three years ago, expectations for Rise of the Planet of the Apes were understandably low. The director (Rupert Wyatt) wasn't well-known, a lot of people despised the film's star (James Franco) for his Renaissance Man routine, and we all remembered how terrible Tim Burton's 2001 Planet of the Apes...
Cruise Control: The Loopy Terror Of <em>Mission: Impossible—Ghost Protocol</em>
Tom Cruise is not like us. This was always pretty evident, but as recently detailed in this great Amy Nicholson L.A. Weekly story, it became inescapable fact around 2005, when he jumped on Oprah Winfrey's couch. That story is full of convincing evidence that the whole couch episode didn't happen t...
All The Internet Clues That Point To LeBron Going To Cleveland
Though LeBron James has remained totally silent about his free agency plans, the tea leaves are there, if you're desperate and crazy enough to read them. ...
Bill Hillmann: I Got Gored By A Fucking Bull
On Wednesday, Bill Hillmann was gored while running with the bulls in Pamplona. A journalist, novelist, and former boxer, Bill and I have known each other since our time at Columbia College Chicago, where even then he was recognized for his frontline reportage, some of which has since appeared aro...
Argentine Player Hit In The Head, Stumbles And Falls, Stays In The Game
Argentina's Javier Mascherano couldn't even stand up after clashing heads with a Dutch player. He was taken off the pitch for only a couple moments—concussion protocol!—before returning. ...
Your Netherlands-Argentina Open Thread
Huh, the World Cup actually didn't end yesterday. Let's hope for more fireworks now....
Do We Believe The Netherlands Yet?
Louis van Gaal is as arrogant as they come. In this World Cup—as has been the case throughout most of van Gaal's career—the results have followed suit....
World Cup Cuisine
George Zisiadis imagines the World Cup as a series of food mash-ups....
Alleged Murderer Has Cardinals And White Sox Logos Among His Face Tats
This Chicago man has been arrested and charged with murder after allegedly shooting and killing a man over the 4th of July weekend. Aside from being the kind of guy who allegedly shoots people and gets "Fuck The World" tattooed on his forehead, he also appears to be a fan of both the St. Louis Cardi...
Mama, We Made It
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
World Cup Jinx Mick Jagger Screwed The Brazilians Again
Mick Jagger has had a run of unwitting World Cup predictions as good as any octopus—only Mick's endorsement is to be avoided at all costs. Anyone he supports, loses. He was in Brazil's corner today, naturally....
Defending World Cup Champions Are Screwed if They're Old
With Spain out in the group stage this year, there will be no repeat champion in Brazil. Do any of the remaining four teams stand a good chance of repeating? The Economist compared the average ages of defending World Cup champions and found younger teams tend to do better. ...
Put Away The Green Screen
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
Why Redshirting Your Kindergartener Is Dumb
Before we get to the Funbag, Craggs wanted me to do a cattle call for audio and/or video of your local nutjob coach screaming at players. So if your indoor equestrian coach is chewing you out for hours at a time, and you had the moxie to take a video of said rant, send it on in. We won't yell at you...
How ESPN's Body Issue Hides The Naughty Bits
It's time once again for ESPN The Magazine's Body Issue, with which you furiously masturbate to Prince Fielder while telling yourself you're just admiring his athleticism. But they sure don't make it easy, obstructing the various pudenda and (female) nipples. Which is an art and a science in itself....
Sigh. Here Is Johnny Manziel Kind Of Doing The Nae Nae.
Well, we really boned ourselves here. Our non-exhaustive list of Johnny Manziel dirt that we will actually pay for included a $325 bounty for a video of Johnny Manziel doing the Nae Nae. (Why $325? Who the fuck knows.) Naturally, a tipster reached out to us with a video of Johnny Manziel doing the N...
Embrace Your Fate
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
Netherlands Beat Costa Rica On Penalties
Tim Krul replaced Jasper Cillessen at the end of extra time for penalties and made two saves, the last one on Michael Umaña above. Every man who took a shot for the Netherlands scored and they won 4-3. ...