the Page 901 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Your Masters Open Thread
Tiger Woods and KJ Choi are scheduled to tee off at 2:35 p.m., with Jason Day and Rory McIlroy to follow 10 minutes later. CBS coverage of the third day of the Masters commences at 3:30 p.m. If you can't wait that long, there's live coverage online, too....

Brazilian Striker Neymar Does A Nice Bit Of Skill And Finishes With A Pass
Apart from the fact that The Spoiler has yet to spell his name correctly at the first time of asking (it's Neymar, not Naymer, you idiot), we're growing rather fond of the young Brazilian....

Wayne Rooney Curses And The World Heaves
Shrek got angry after scoring a hat trick against West Ham last Saturday and spat a few acrid words into the camera. Now Shrek will lose 250,000 squid and miss an FA Cup semifinal because some asinine arbiters of morality in sports have decided there's no cursing on the pitch....

Mystery Solved: Courtside Guy At Bulls Games Is Matt Pritzker, And He Is Very, Very Rich
I-Team, you may stand down. So many of you have written in to solve today's mystery about the young fellow who sits courtside at Chicago Bulls games....

There Were No Fans Or Cars In Attendance At This Incredible High School Dunk Contest
These are the highlights to the first-ever Ballislife All American Dunk Contest, which by our first appraisal seems more impressive than both the McDonald's contest and the one that featured Kias and choruses a few months ago. A few names here you can expect to see in next year's college rounds: A...

This Is A Masters Photo Unlike Any Other
A tipster sends along this photo apparently taken during Tuesday's practice round at Augusta, where the cast of Cocoon was hanging out....

LeBron James Gets Stake In Liverpool, Joins Unofficial Club For The Filthy Rich
LeBron James is smiling because even after an embarrassing hour-long ESPN special this summer that maligned him to the majority of humans not residing in South Beach, and even after his hometown fans burned his Cleveland jerseys and turned his name into a curse word, and even after his new team face...

The Name Of The Year Bracket Is Out! Taco Monster Says NOM NOM NOM NOM
The Name of the Year Bracket has been released! Holy RexAchilles! That means it's time for Spencer Hall and I to formally go through the bracket in our annual Name of the Year podcast. You can listen here, or click the iTunes link to the show here. Quickly, let me take you through the top four seeds...

The Epic Story Of A New Jersey Prosecutor Who Stole My Idea And Made Fantasy Baseball History
"I got Rickey Henderson and Roger Clemens."...

Blackhawks Wing Brouwer Whiffs Badly On This Hit, Injures Shoulder
Your morning roundup for April 6, the day Netflix struck an exclusive streaming deal with the Derek Jeter of TV....

No One Is Going To Cleveland Indians Games
On Friday, Cleveland opened its season on the losing end of a slugfest with the White Sox. Not the worst opening day possible, however much air Fausto Carmona's 3-inning, 10-run performance sucked out of the building—catching stud Carlos Santana went 3 for 5 with a homer....

Snooki Body Slams Michelle McCool, And Other Great Moments From WrestleMania 27
For those of you who didn't have the $54.50 to spend on pay-per-view this weekend, we have compiled the best moment's from Sunday night's WrestleMania 27. There were many highlights: Snooki did a backflip, Stone Cold Steve Austin laid the smack down, and Trish Stratus and Michelle McCool wrestled ...

The Quirks Of Gambling On Professional Wrestling
Since the dawn of time, it's been mankind's dream to own the Sports Almanac from Back To The Future Part II. If one could know the result of a sporting event beforehand, one could make untold riches by gambling on it. While the Novikov self-consistency principle — or perhaps Calvinism — means this c...

This Year's "One Shining Moment" Includes Very Few Moments From The Title Game
Your morning roundup for April 5, the day Michael Jackson took watch over Fulham FC's stadium....

(Un)dead Wrestler Of The Week: The Undertaker
An occasional feature in which we honor the sport's fallen and examine their legacies. Today we have a special edition of Dead Wrestler of the Week: The Undertaker, who defeated Triple H last night in WrestleMania 27 and who, while still very much alive, has long been a death-obsessed figure in a de...

Fulham's Michael Jackson Statue Is More Frightening Than The Balloon Creatures From "The Wiz"
Fans of EPL team Fulham knew this day was coming for a little while. But, were they prepared for what greeted them at Craven Cottage today?...

The Kentucky Wildcats Refused To Go Down Without A Fight Or An Internationally-Televised Nut Tap
Your morning roundup for April 3, the day it became clear that 16-year-old girls at meth labs hope you have rabies....

This Nine-Year-Old Kid Might Well Be The World's Next Greatest Soccer Player
This lad, who has yet to be publicly identified, is being called "The Japanese Messi." For good reason. The kid's got footwork, pace and panache to the point where the guy who coached "The Real Messi" as a youth has linked to this clip via Twitter. Or, it could just be a farce, which would be sad....

Here's Video Of A Lady Using Rail-Dance Spasms To Seduce A Goal From A Minor-League Hockey Game
In this video, a lady treats an ice-rink handrail like it's a pole on a stage. This seems to lead to an "awesome" Grand Rapids Griffins goal or something along those lines. The security guards apparently found this offensive. Bad form....

Fourth Official Holds Up A Massive Electrical Condom
Looking very much like Leslie Nielsen did in that Naked Gun scene when he thrusts a giant Johnny over his head to do the nasty with Elvis's ex, here's a Thai official holding up his Durex-sponsored extra-time board....