thebigwetpresident Page 2 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Everyone Needs To Relax With Their NBA Previews, Please
We at the Deadcast are not in the business of telling you not to care about things. We are more or less in the business of being wrong and flippant about things, but you can and should absolutely do what you want. If you’re excited about the fact that the NBA regular season begins comparatively soo...
There's No Bad Idea Like A Sports Bad Idea<em></em>
It is a harsh truth, but an undeniable one: If it weren’t for bad ideas, we would not have anything to talk about on the Deadcast. In point of fact, if it were not for bad ideas the Deadcast itself would not even exist. But while our world is currently much worse off for all the bad ideas that curre...
Toward A Working Theory Of What The Fuck Donald Trump Is Even Talking About
The Mendocino Complex Wildfire is the largest fire in California’s history. It has burned more than 300,000 acres in Northern California to date and is one of 19 wildfires currently active in the state. The fire was big enough that, on Monday, President Donald Trump saw fit to briefly depart from hi...
Finally, Here's The All-Borat Episode<em></em>
When we recorded this Deadcast, Sacha Baron Cohen’s Who Is America had yet to premiere. To the extent that we or our extra-lanky returning guest Patrick Redford knew anything about the show, it was through a series of brief promotional videos in which Cohen himself didn’t even appear, although it se...
They Already Said They Weren't Going To Go, Man
Even though LeBron James and Steph Curry had already said that neither of their teams would visit the White House if they won the NBA Finals, today Donald Trump tried to pretend like he wouldn’t have invited them anyway. Surely the basketball players will regret the opportunity to watch a septuagena...
The NFL Is Too Dumb To Realize That Donald Trump Is Never Going To Stop With This Shit
There is a story—which is usually described as a poem but is more precisely a muddled version of a song written by the jazz singer Oscar Brown Jr.—that Donald Trump delights in reading to crowds at his campaign rallies. Trump refers to it as “The Snake” and his fans know it by that name. “Who likes ...
Here's The Story Behind The Oafish Pro-Trump Ad That Ran During The NHL Playoffs Last Night
Virtually any day of the year, there is no real reason why you or anyone else should be watching CNBC. If you are someone who follows or cares about financial news, you really probably shouldn’t be watching television to keep up with it. If you are someone who likes watching a bunch of gray-faced ol...
President Of The United States, Weirdly: "Roll Tide"
It’s hard to believe, but it’s true—Donald Trump has only been President of the United States for 13 years. The time has gone by so quickly, one day screaming incoherently into the next over and over and faster and faster, and yet it has also somehow been the same endless shitty/terrifying Tuesday f...
Windswept Honey Bun Boards Presidential Aircraft
President Donald Trump’s workday on Thursday included two actual things. That day officially began at 11 a.m., per his public schedule, when Trump received his daily intelligence briefing. There’s no telling how long this takes, as Trump famously likes his briefings short and colorful and chart-base...
Is Donald Trump Really "The Michael Jordan Of Political Nicknames?"
Chris Cillizza’s job isn’t as easy as it seems, although it also isn’t nearly difficult enough to justify the salary he receives for doing it. What that job is even supposed to be is kind of a moving target, to be honest, but much of what Cillizza does in his current position as a political reporter...
Where Is Donald Trump Even Getting This Shit?
There is the version of Donald Trump that everyone gets served, and it is an extremely luxurious experience—a thick and luridly salty braise of all-beef bombast served smothered in a chunky and flavorless dressing that looks like ranch but tastes like vinegar and forgetfulness. It is fatty and extre...
President Trump Graciously Accepts Credit For Saving The Winter Olympics
Those anxious weeks and months leading up to the Pyeongchang Olympics seem so long ago, now. With the games themselves just recently in the past, it’s easy to forget the questions that so defined those days. In bars and around water coolers, out loud to friends and family and in an echoing loop in o...
Ovoid Pastry Creature Boards Airplane
Donald Trump, president of the United States, boards Air Force One en route to the World Economic Forum in Switzerland, where he plans to tell leaders from around the world a rambling and unconvincing story involving former Night Court star Markie Post....
What Weird New Behavior Will Donald Trump Display At The National Championship Game?<em></em>
A year and change into his first term in office, it’s still honestly kind of hard to tell why Donald Trump ran for president. At this point, we know enough about him to assume both 1) that it had nothing to do with any of the reasons he offered on the campaign trail and 2) that it’s probably somethi...