ti Page 1507 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Matt Martin Knocks Out Tom Kostopoulos, Motions To Have Bench Collect Him
The Islanders beat the Devils 3-1 Monday night in New Jersey and continued an improbable, late-season push for a playoff spot. John Tavares scored his 22nd goal of the season, Evgeni Nabokov out-tended Martin Brodeur and the Islanders have now won four of their last five. ...
Minor League Baseball Stadium Now Home To Two Ostriches
We got this press release earlier today and, man, it's great. The Reading Fightin Phils, the Phillies Double-A affiliate in Reading, Pennsylvania, just reached an agreement with an ostrich farm in New Jersey—which, what?— that will allow the team to keep two ostriches at the stadium....
Here's Clayton Kershaw's Game-Winning Home Run
Quite a day for the Dodgers. Sandy Koufax made a surprise relief appearance and then Clayton Kershaw beat the defending World Series champions all by himself....
Danny Boyle Mesmerizes Himself. <em>Trance</em>, Reviewed.
For director Danny Boyle, anything worth doing is worth overdoing. With each genre of movie he makes, you get the sense that he wants to be sure it's the most demonstrative of its kind ever. Trainspotting was the druggiest movie ever. 28 Days Later was the zombie-iest movie ever. Slumdog Millionaire...
Comcast SportsNet's White Sox Intro Video Is One Of The Worst Things Ever Put On Television And Possibly Harmful To Your Health
Most discerning baseball fans go out of their way to avoid local broadcasts of the Chicago White Sox. After all, that's where you find Ken “Hawk” Harrelson, and to voluntarily listen to Hawk is to willingly subject yourself to the threat of severe brain damage. Seriously, you'd be better off huffing...
Barack Obama: Still Bad At Basketball
As part of the White House's Easter festivities, the president joined a group of kids to shoot some hoops. How can we put this delicately—compared to those children, the president sucked ass. He went 0 for his first 18 shots, breaking Tim Hardaway's record for futility. He finished up 2-for-22. The...
Bryce Harper Starts The Season With Two Home Runs
Man, that's a gorgeous swing....
Cardinals Skipper Flips The Bird
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
Louisville Beats Duke To Advance To Final Four
Jesus. That was a bizarre game. Louisville beat Duke 85-63 and will advance to Atlanta to play Wichita State. Obviously the tone was set with Kevin Ware's gruesome injury and it's difficult to really remember what happened before it. Lousiville had a 35-32 lead going in to the half and I had to loo...
Read This Story About Jon Niese's Wife's Panties
Everything about this is wonderful....
This Week In Athlete Charities Are A Sham
It seems like we've been through this before, and relatively recently, but Outside The Lines has done a thorough investigation and made the shocking discovery that most athlete-founded charities are a sham. ...
Somebody Took Over Manti Te'o's Old Twitter Account And Is Reviving His Old Tweets—Including Those To Lennay Kekua
Just when we thought things on the Manti Te'o/Lennay Kekua front were over, they got weird again. Earlier this month, an unknown individual assumed control of Manti Te'o's deleted Twitter account, recreated its appearance, and started tweeting. The tweets weren't original, though; they were recycled...
The Brewers Aren't Allowing Fans To Bring Their Own Porta-Potties To Games, Because The Free Market Means Nothing Anymore
The Milwaukee Brewers, willing handmaiden to America's racing sausage industry and one of a suspiciously low number of professional baseball purveyors in the state of Wisconsin, have coupled with Waste Management, Inc to violate an essential American freedom: The right to bring your own porta-potty ...
The Wolverines Beat Kansas Despite A Late-Game 99.4 Percent Chance Of Losing
The OMFGCU dream died last night around gone-to-bed o’clock, amid a flipbook of turnovers. Krzyzewski beat Izzo in the battle of the z’s. The Cardinals dispatched the Ducks. Higher seeds advancing, dynasties on the make, a swell Sunday set up....
How To Make Baked Ziti: A Guide For Heroes Willing To Eat All That Cheese
There come those times in each person's life when you really just want to eat All The Cheese. When you're drinking wine, or when you've had a dreary day and are stressed out and could use something indulgent to liven things up a little bit—or, really, any other time you happen not to be dead—man, e...
Pat Riley Thinks Danny Ainge Should "Shut The Fuck Up And Manage His Own Team"
Yesterday, Celtics president of basketball operations Danny Ainge said that it was "almost embarrassing" that LeBron James had complained about a few hard fouls he received during Wednesday's Heat-Bulls game. Heat president Pat Riley did not take kindly to Ainge expressing his opinion, and he just i...
This Is What It Sounds Like When A Minor League Hockey Announcer Loses His Mind
Turn down your speakers before you start the video. I'm not joking....
The Eight Most Groan-Worthy Lines In <em>GI Joe: Retaliation</em>
GI Joe: Retaliation is pretty bad. You don't need me to tell you that. It's not completely horrible: There's a cool sequence involving ninjas fighting each other during an avalanche, one special effects scene has London blowing up real awesome-like, and The Rock continues to be the one consistent ac...
This Footage Of White Dudes Playing Basketball In 1932 Is A Thing Of Beauty
Feast your eyes on the Original Celtics and their mastery of the fundamentals of basketball. Watch in awe as Davey Banks demonstrates a proper set shot. Try to keep your jaw from hitting the floor as Joe Lapchick (who was awesome, by the way) uncorks a vicious rejection. Ready a fist pump for the m...
Dufnering Is Now A Thing, Thanks To A Gaggle Of Silly Pro Golfers
Yesterday we posted a photo of golfer Jason Dufner visiting a community center and looking supremely downtrodden. Today, golfers all across the land are razzing Dufner, who's been chipper enough about the whole thing, by mimicking his pose. Dufnering! It's a thing! Bubba Watson, who Dufnered in the ...