ti Page 1517 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The NCAA And Miami Prepare For Battle
The NCAA has always gotten what it wanted. Because it made up the rules, and is the sole enforcer of them, the NCAA has never not been able to push around anyone in its way, be it players, programs or politicians. This time could have been different. After the investigation was screwed up so spectac...
How To Jerk Off In A War Zone: Servicemembers Weigh In
Last week, we published a military doctor's very useful field guide to masturbating while on active duty. Unsurprisingly, it elicited plenty of comment on the topic from experienced servicepeople, some of which we have collected for your enjoyment. Got anything to add? Leave a comment in the discus...
Grierson & Leitch's Bold Predictions For The Oscar Technical Categories No One Understands
Come Sunday night, you may embark on that annual ritual: Filling out the bottom of your Oscar pool entry, pretending you know the difference between Best Sound Editing and Best Sound Mixing. Will and I will both offer our picks for the eight major categories tomorrow, but today I'm going to offer my...
It's A Long Offseason. Here's A.J. McCarron's Car With A Boot On It.
Fresh from Reddit, here's a photo of A.J. McCarron's SUV in what appears to be this parking lot behind Bryant Hall. The submitter says McCarron was one of four football players whose cars got clamped, since they didn't have a parking pass for that particular lot....
Why Is Geno Auriemma Tapping Baylor Coach Kim Mulkey's Ass In This Photo?
The Associated Press last night put 18 photos from the Baylor-UConn women's basketball game in its image archive. One of them is the photo you see to the right (click to enlarge), which moved on the wire with the following explanation-free caption:...
Luke Scott Hath Slain The Hellboar
Everyone's favorite gun-humping birther, Luke Scott, arrived at the Tampa Bay Rays' spring training facility with a special guest: the stuffed head of a slain hellboar. How did Scott come to claim this bloody prize? By sticking the beast with a spear, of course! Scott told Rays Report that the boar...
The Future of Sports Tech Involves Shrimp
Why do characters in video games get all the coolest toys? Y'know, raccoon suits, sonic booms, hyperdrive. Or a Nanosuit like the one in EA's Crysis 3 that provides armor, super strength, invisibility, and a means to interface with computers and weapons. Awesome in a video game, but don't you want ...
Jerry Buss, Surrounded By Boobs: A Tribute To The Greatest NBA Owner Ever
Jerry Buss died today. The 80-year-old was arguably the greatest NBA owner in the history of the league. He was also a world-class Playmate aficionado who frequently dated teenage girls and used to host his birthday party at a brothel. To put it in more appropriate obituary terms, the man was "known...
South Florida Gives Punter Special Teams Award Riddled With Spelling Errors, Including Punter's Last Name
Nawt shore wut tha prawblem iz hear. Justin Brockhaus-Kann wuz A fif-yeer seenyer hoo post'd A carear-bestt avridge uv 40.6 yardds perr puntt inn 2012 four thah Sauth Floreda Bullz. T'wuz a ruff yeer four tha Bullz, butt the universitee didd write buy Brockhaus-Kann buy prezenting himm wit ann aword...
Tim Lincecum Had A Very Zen Offseason
Now that spring training has officially kicked off, it's time for baseball writers to spend the next two months filling column space while absolutely nothing of consequence happens. Fox Sports' Ken Rosenthal got started today, asking various members of the San Francisco Giants to share their favori...
A Text Message From A South African Rugby Player May Be At The Center Of The Pistorius Shooting
Over the weekend, we learned of a South African rugby player, Francois Hougaard, who may or may not have once dated the woman Oscar Pistorius shot and killed, Reeva Steenkamp. According to one report, Pistorius and Steenkamp were fighting over a text message from Hougaard early Thursday morning, sho...
Tiger Woods And President Obama Play Golf Together, Constitute Nightmare Scenario For Old White Dudes
On the list of Old White Dudes' nightmares, the President of the United States and arguably the best golf player ever both being black, spending too much time on vacation and leisurely playing a round of golf at an exclusive club, betrayed by one of their own, has got to just be the worst, right?...
Reports: A Bloodied Cricket Bat Was Found At Oscar Pistorius's Home And Reeva Steenkamp's Skull Was "Crushed"
South Africa's City Press is reporting that a bloodied cricket bat was found in Pistorius's home and that it may have been used against his girlfriend of four months, Reeva Steenkamp. Police are investigating several different scenarios involving the bat, including whether it was used against Steen...
Basketball Players Spent Their Wild And Crazy All-Star Saturday Meeting For Three And A Half Hours And Voting To Dismiss Their Union Director
Wojnarowski reports that Billy Hunter's dismissal, widely presumed to be an inevitability after the myriad scandals that recently punctured his cocoon of power, was voted on and affirmed by a group of NBA players this afternoon. A bit more on the meeting that sealed his fate once and for all:...
How Clark Olson Beats Everyone Else In Fantasy Everything
The guy who just beat everyone else in America at all the fantasy sports, again, is a computer science professor who is not so much into trades but who is really, really into spreadsheets. Clark Olson, the 2012 winner of ESPN's omnibus Uber Challenge fantasy game, again, tallied the high score acros...
Report: Oscar Pistorius Attempted To Revive Reeva Steenkamp, Who Was Sitting On The Bathroom Sink When Shot
South African newspaper Beeld has contacted sources close to the police investigation of Oscar Pistorius's shooting of Reeva Steenkamp and filled in a few details about that morning: First, police believe that Steenkamp was sitting "on the lavatory"—bathroom sink—when Pistorius shot her through the...
Lindsey Vonn's Busted Knee Looks Like Hell
U.S. skier Lindsey Vonn tore the ACL and MCL in her right knee in a brutal crash at the World Championships in Austria last week. Here's how it looks today....
You Know Spring Training Is Here When You Read Sentences Like "Denard Span Said He Started Screaming And Making Noises To Discourage The Bird"
There is no baseball, no real, meaningful baseball for another 44 days. But the dead zone of the sports calendar has quickened considerably by the advent of spring training. Camps in Arizona and Florida stir to life, as co-workers who haven't seen each other since September get back together for som...
Did The Movie <em>Heathers</em> Kill The Name Heather?
Welcome to Dataspin, a new weekly data visualization of whatever the fuck....
The Coming War: A Military Doctor's Field Guide To Masturbating In Afghanistan
The past decade of combat operations in Iraq and Afghanistan has given military physicians such as myself the important opportunity to gather unprecedented data on some of our most pressing medical issues. This data set has spurred advances in the care of trauma, hemorrhagic shock, traumatic brain i...