ti Page 1794 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Because Everything Is About Brett Favre, Always
Reports have Elin Nordegren staying at Favre's Mississippi home while visiting Tiger in sex rehab, which we have yet to prove he's in anyway. If you piggyback a false rumor on another false rumor, does that make it true? [Via]...

New Orleans Judge Sets Important Legal Precedent With "Saintsmania" Ruling
District Court Judge Michael G. Bagneris has granted a one-week continuance in his current trial so that Court members may properly adjudicate the "Saintsmania" that "permeates the City of New Orleans." Justice: Cajun Style! [AboveTheLaw; pic via]...

And ESPN Runs, Runs So Far Away From Paul Shirley
Here's their entire statement: "He was a part-time freelance contributor. The views he expressed on another site of course do not at all reflect our company's views on the Haiti relief efforts. He will no longer contribute to ESPN."...

Paul Shirley To Haiti: Go Help Yourself (UPDATE)
Onetime baller, sometime music critic and all-around man of letters Paul Shirley has published his thoughts on the stricken Haitian people. Namely, that they put themselves in this mess, so he's not about to help. This may not end well....

Just In Case There Was Any Doubt That It Was Greg Oden's Penis
The formal letters from Oden's management, BDA, have invaded the inboxes of websites across the country, including (surprise) ours. The letter is attached below. It is safe for work....

Angry Indy Cops vs. Drunk Jets Fan: The Video
Video of the "tasered" Jets fan has finally surfaced, and I don't want to spoil it for you, but it looks like at least one Indianapolis police officer is living life on a very thin edge....

Tim Layden Bids Farewell To Brett Favre With Some Sexy Slash Fiction
There are two noble conventions of football journalism that will fall by the wayside should Brett Favre elect to sit his old ass down for good. The first is of the Werder-Mortensen "Sources: Favre eats soup" variety. And the second?...

Last Night's Winner: People Who Don't Play Football
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like athletes who are suddenly going to get a lot more attention now that football season is drawing to a close. You've heard of "sports," right?...

A More Visceral, Profane Reaction To Favre's Interception
One Favre-jersey wearer, shows us what it's like to go into apoplectic shock, while his poor daughter just yelps. I get the sense he kicked something hard once the game mercifully ended. [TheScore]...

A Video Treasury Of Brett Favre's Season-Ending Interceptions (UPDATE)
Brett Favre has now thrown an interception in his last significant pass of the last game of the last three seasons. Let's look back at the ol' gunslinger fearlessly doing the thing that makes Tom Jackson admire him so....

Bourbon Street Looked Like The Most Fun Place On Earth Last Night
Now, this is not Detroit, man. Nola.com has amazing footage of the joyful chaos on Bourbon Street last night after Garrett Hartley split the uprights (he's apparently a soothsayer, too). There's brassy marching, unreserved embracing and abundant whodatting! [ViaSBNation]...

Vikings Radio Announcers Do Little To Hide Their Anger, Frustration and Disappointment After Favre INT
"This is not Detroit, man — THIS IS THE SUPER BOWL!" Poor guys. [SI.com/Via ExtraMustard...

Today's Knicks Giveaway: Cognitive Dissonance
The Knicks are at a 10-year-high, and among the tops in the league, in new season ticket sales. The selling point is hope for the future. The Knicks lost by 50 today. [NY Times]...

Psh, I <em>Guess</em> This Counts As Knocking Off No. 1
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Stories That Don't Suck: Mushnick When He Mattered, Erich Segal (OO MAH SOUL!), MLK
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....

Whites-Only Basketball League Promoter Is Determined To Make His Point. Badly.
Bomani Jones interviewed Don "Moose" Lewis, the brains behind the controversial all-white basketball league. Lewis does his best to explain how the league is not racist or segregated ("it's like a private club") but not very well. Fascinating stuff. [HardcoreSportsRadio]...

Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Ascension Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....

Mark Sanchez Graduates From Poise To Chutzpah
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Well, This Is Awkward: Maybe That <em>Isn't</em> Tiger Woods In Those Sex-Rehab Photos
My trust in the National Enquirer is unbounded, but X17 claims that these photographs, of a man who is not Tiger Woods sexlessly strolling the gentle paths of Pine Grove, show the same guy in the Enquirer's grainy photos....

Shawne Merriman's Fetus Wants Legal Recognition
Merriman was hit with a paternity suit this week, in an odd case in which he's admitted the unborn child is his. And before you ask, don't worry; Tila Tequila has not reproduced....