tim Page 86 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Giancarlo Stanton Blesses Bachelorette Party With Healthy Dong
Giancarlo Stanton viciously smote a poor baseball into the right field stands in Camden Yards Saturday, where it was gathered by the overjoyed members of a bachelorette party wearing “Team Bride” hats:...
Baltimore Prep Football Fight Gets Bigger And Uglier
The predicted unraveling of Baltimore’s prep football scene appears to indeed be underway. Another scheduled opponent bailed on playing the city’s burgeoning national gridiron powerhouse, St. Frances Academy, as accusations of cheating, cowardice and racism were flying all over town. All because St....
Baltimore High Schools Sick Of Getting Whupped By Football Coach Who Spends Millions On His Team
Can too much charity be a bad thing? The Baltimore prep sports scene seems to be on the verge of unraveling with the emergence of a parochial powerhouse, funded by a head coach with apparently massive financial means and the desire to make schoolboy football the focus of his philanthropy....
John Harbaugh Keeps Talking Up A Wild-Ass Idea For Saving The Kickoff
The NFL changed its kickoff rule this offseason, in an attempt to reduce head injuries resulting from the collisions that often ensued when 11 players got a running start in pursuit of one player moving at full speed in the opposite direction. The changes will be reviewed after the 2018 season. But ...
The Time Dave McKenna Drunkenly Heckled Jimmy Connors And Got Rewarded With VIP Passes
Our beloved colleague Dave McKenna tells good stories. He’s done a lot of cool shit, met many weird people in weird ways, and had his run-ins with the law. And after selfishly squirreling all his stories away in Slack and our brains for years, we’ve realized we have a societal obligation to share....
Andrew Cashner Might Be Better At Hacky Sack Than Pitching
Save for the almost-nightly Manny Machado dinger, things are going horrifically wrong in Baltimore. Any twisted soul who’s still keeping up with this team would be wise to hang onto whatever fleeting moments of joy roll around—like Andrew Cashner kicking this comebacker from White Sox second baseman...
Buck Showalter Will Not Yield For Your Home Run Trot<em></em>
A three-run dinger from Xander Bogaerts gave his Red Sox a 6-0 lead and chased Orioles pitcher Kevin Gausman in the fifth inning of tonight’s game. While Gausman himself couldn’t have been thrilled with his mistake, O’s manager Buck Showalter appeared even more disgusted, as he couldn’t even restrai...
![Woman Furiously Shits On Floor Of Tim Hortons, Throws It At Employees [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/iyykgbeiy2amhwqtdndj.jpg)
Woman Furiously Shits On Floor Of Tim Hortons, Throws It At Employees [Update]
A woman in Canada was so incensed about something Tim Hortons employees did or didn’t do that she dropped her pants, took a dump on the floor, threw it, grabbed some napkins to wipe her ass, threw those too, and left....
Royals Assault Defenseless Orioles Pitcher With Barrage Of First-Inning Dongs
Orioles pitcher Dylan Bundy had a very short Tuesday night start against the Royals, but his outing was anything but merciful. Bundy marked himself with the dreaded infinity ERA by failing to record an out in the first inning as Kansas City smashed dong after dong, scoring seven runs on Bundy off ho...
The Final Installment Of The Engelb Vielma Tracker, Featuring The Greatest Anagrammed Hits
Many—most?—Orioles games feel vaguely pointless right now. The end result is usually clear before the game is underway, and while there’s plenty of different ways for the team to reach that result, those differ only in substance rather than sentiment. It’s all going to be pretty depressing. This was...
The Time Dave McKenna Accidentally Called 911 On A Guy Just Looking For His Craigslist Date
Our beloved colleague Dave McKenna tells good stories. He’s done a lot of cool shit, met many weird people in weird ways, and had his run-ins with the law. And after selfishly squirreling all his stories away in Slack and our brains for years, we’ve realized we have a societal obligation to share. ...
A Very Special Edition Of The Engelb Vielma Tracker: Let Viable Man Single!
The Engelb Vielma tracker is back, and this time it holds some excellent news for the utility infielder. When we left the 23-year-old last week, he had been sent down to Triple-A. But he was called back up to join Baltimore’s big-league club yesterday, and today—well, today, he got his first hit....
Pedro Alvarez Clotheslines Teammate Chance Sisco
The Orioles are the worst team in the American League by record—8-20, tonight’s ongoing game against the Angels not included—and by just about everything else, too. (See: a collective OPS of .673.) Here’s a play from tonight that sums all that up pretty well: Pedro Alvarez running into Chance Sisco ...
This <i>New York Times</i> Profile Of Serena Williams Is A Press Release For Her TV Show
The sort of celebrity profile that opens with an anecdote set in a restaurant or hotel room is more or less always bad, if only because the whole premise is so transparently ludicrous. The writer pretends that a short time in the presence of some closed-off celebrity has given them unique insights i...
Lamar Jackson Went To The Right Place
At the close of the first round of the draft Thursday night, the most exciting player in college football over the last two years ended up in what appears to be a very encouraging situation, as the Ravens traded with the Eagles to take Louisville quarterback Lamar Jackson with the 32nd pick....
The All-Too-Brief Basketball Career Of Reggie Rose
On Monday night, TNT play-by-play man Kevin Harlan welcomed Reggie Rose to the NBA, excitedly shouting his name on several instances. Signed by the Timberwolves, Reggie Rose scored 17 points in a Game 4 loss to the Rockets, and somehow, in his NBA debut, already appeared to be on his last legs....
The Rockets Fine-Tuned Their Equation And Became Invincible
The Houston Rockets led by one point, 50-49, at the end of the first half last night in Minnesota. So it’s not like they were in a crisis situation. But if a lead can be said to be an ugly and bad one, this qualified. ...
Engelb Vielma Tracker: Engelb Vielma Back To Triple-A, Plus Hot Fresh Anagrams
Today’s edition of the Engelb Vielma Tracker must open with an apology: We recognize that this update is tardy, and for that, we are deeply sorry. ...
Justin Verlander Is A Sensitive Baby
You’d think Justin Verlander has played enough baseball in his career to no longer notice or care much whether this or that opposing batter pumps a fist after getting on base, but no: it turns out no amount of experience can toughen up the fragile ego of a true baseball man. Verlander pitched brilli...