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Classic Man: "Keeping An Axe Blade Sharp Requires Careful Maintenance"
Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. Last week, we discussed bear alarms; today, we’re talking about sharpening an axe....

John Tortorella's Conference Call Got Hijacked By Pranksters
USA Hockey named John Tortorella the head coach of the 2016 U.S. World Cup team on Monday, and set up a conference call with Torts and the media today. These teleconferences between coaches and reporters are commonplace, and the call-in number is usually well guarded. That was not the case with this...

How To Buy A Tie And Wear It Well
The tie gets a bad rep. It’s associated with board rooms and formality and the type of office job that requires navigating a dull grey labyrinth of cubicles. There’s a reason that the phrase “loosening one’s tie” exists, and why it’s shorthand for relaxing and having a good time. Ties are symbolic o...

The Jets Defense Is Ferocious
One third-quarter sequence perfectly exemplified the Jets’ 20-7 victory over the Colts Monday night: their defense is damn good, but they’re getting a bit of luck too. ...

Police: TCU Football Players Arrested For Assault, Jacking A Case Of Keystone Light
According to numerous reports, TCU senior defensive end Mike Tuaua and redshirt freshman wide receiver Andre Petties-Wilson were arrested on felony robbery and bodily injury charges for allegedly beating up fellow students outside of a party, and then stealing their case of Keystone Light....

A Sketchy Drug Test Didn’t Stop Vitor Belfort From Fighting At UFC 152
Just more than 24 hours ahead of their Memorial Day fight this year, UFC middleweight champion Chris Weidman stepped up to his opponent, Vitor Belfort, in public, ready to accuse him of cheating....

Reports: Drew Brees's Shoulder Is Messed Up
Drew Brees played quite poorly Sunday as the Saints lost to the Buccaneers, and it might not have just been one bad game. NFL Network’s Ian Rapoport says the Saints believe the 36-year-old quarterback could miss time with a shoulder injury....

Diego Costa And José Mourinho Are The Shitheads We Need
The more you think about it the more inevitable it seems that José Mourinho—the ne plus ultra of managerial shit-talking, barb-throwing, and incessant needling of rivals—and Diego Costa—his dispositional equivalent on the field, only with elbows substituted for verbal barbs as his projectile of choi...

Pablo Sandoval Gets Dizzy And Tired Running The Bases
Pablo Sandoval exited Sunday’s game against the Blue Jays early after scoring from third base on a sacrifice fly. The Red Sox third baseman reportedly left because of “lightheadedness.” ...

Donald Trump: Joe Flacco Is Elite
Pestilent clownfister Donald Trump did a video Q&A today, and two of the 12 questions he answered were about the NFL. The first and most important was on the eliteness of one Joe Flacco:...

Eagles' Nolan Carroll Tackled An Idiot On The Field
Some drunk asshole ran onto the field during yesterday’s Eagles loss to Dallas. Philly CB Nolan Carroll took him down. The video from NBC DFW photojournalist Noah Bullard:...

Rugby Man Trucks, Dazes Fellow Rugby Man
Samoa once again retained its dominant form against the U.S. with a 25-16 win Sunday at the Rugby World Cup, but it wasn’t on account of the Americans coming out slow. Here’s Thretton Palamo absolutely leveling Samoa’s Rey Lee-Lo with a forearm to the face, one that left Lee-Lo dazed. (Perhaps the U...
![WWE Invaded By Yet Another Idiot On The Field [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
WWE Invaded By Yet Another Idiot On The Field [UPDATE]
Dumbasses trying to make scripted grappling “real to them” have increased their attempts to invade the pro wrestling ring, and one such Idiot made it in as a pretend secret guest on tonight’s WWE pay-per-view (the real secret: Chris Jericho). His reward? The usual: getting sacked by WWE security....

Tony Romo Has A Broken Collarbone
Tony Romo broke his left collarbone today when Eagles rookie linebacker Jordan Hicks sacked him and forced a fumble in the third quarter of today’s game in Philadelphia. This is the same collarbone that Romo broke in 2010 that caused him to miss eight games. He didn’t have surgery for that injury, a...

Tom Brady, True Competitor, Digs Deep
Maybe this is why nobody wants to give Tom Brady a high five....

Ole Miss Takes Big Lead On Bama Thanks To Bonkers Touchdown
Ole Miss stormed into Tuscaloosa and took a big early lead when Rebels quarterback Chad Kelly brought down a poor snap that he then mishandled, threw the ball into double coverage, only to find it ricochet into the hands of Quincy Adeboyejo who took it 66 yards for the score....

Sebastian Giovinco Continues To Tear Up MLS
Sebastian Giovinco scored a pair of goals and assisted another today as Toronto FC beat the Colorado Rapids 3-1. Both scores were fairly simple for Giovinco, on account of the massive gaps defenders left him, but he got himself to the right spot with ease each time. He continues to be at the center ...

I Think You Could Say This Guy Got Blown Up
Florida State shut out Boston College in a truly terrible Friday night ACC game, but the Eagles at least had this highlight from linebacker Steven Daniels. He might have a name worth remembering! But you’ll have to try hard to remember it, because “Steven Daniels” is not an easy name to remember....

The Procrastinator’s Guide To iOS 9
iOS 9 came out this week, and you might want to put it on your phone, or figure out what the hell you get by installing this thing. This is a guide for those who care, but only barely....