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The Uncomfortable Middle: Our 2015-16 Premier League Preview, Pt. 2
For the American sports fan, following soccer means a reorientation about what constitutes success. With the success of the top teams reinforced by Champions League appearances and an enhanced global profile, there is a virtuous cycle to being good that makes it even harder to break into the top. At...

Stop Pretending Donald Trump Is Running For President
Tonight, hot pork balloon Donald Trump will participate in a televised debate with nine Republican presidential candidates. He is pretending to campaign for president, and the political press has agreed to pretend to believe him for a little while. It’s cynical and farcical and boring and stupid and...

This Is The Most Lit Political Ad Of All Time
Why is that large child getting carried around by his dad? He’s way too big for that. What a weird family....

Starting From The Bottom: Our 2015-16 Premier League Preview, Pt. 1
PREMIER LEAGUE BACK....

DeSean Jackson Stopped By Blocking Sled
Washington wide receiver DeSean Jackson was talking some of that good stuff during a recent press conference, telling reporters, “I don’t feel no one could stop me. You could go get Darrelle Revis, Richard Sherman, whoever you want to get.” At today’s practice, Jackson hurt himself by running into a...
![Report: Patrick Kane Is The Subject Of A Rape Investigation [Updates]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1373822293372471653.jpg)
Report: Patrick Kane Is The Subject Of A Rape Investigation [Updates]
The Buffalo News reports that Hamburg, N.Y., police are investigating some sort of incident, and two sources tell the paper that incident involved Blackhawks star Patrick Kane. And that’s literally all we know right now. (See updates below.)...

The NFL Would Like To Have A Little Talk With You About Sex
Does the NFL give its players sex advice? Of course it does! This is a league that tells its players how to tuck in their uniforms, has an approximately 600-word definition of what a catch is, and has its employees sign an “integrity of the game” honor code. So why not give its players The Talk?...

The NFL's Dumbass Deflategate Science Report Is A Feature, Not A Bug
Last night, a mountain of documents and transcription emerged from Tom Brady’s late June appeal hearing before Roger Goodell. It’s been a circus, with a series of insults, emails, and sneaker requests to Tom Ford pouring out of the file cabinet, but the testimony most relevant to the case circles ba...

Classic Man: "Do Not Make Animal Noises At Women"
Frequently in this space, we will consult a new entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. Yesterday, we addressed what to do if you’re on a flight and the pilot dies; today, a word of advice re: interacting with the ladies....

5 Thoughts On Tom Brady's Case From A Guy Who Read The Whole Damn Thing
As part of the legal battle over the four-game suspension Tom Brady received for his role in the deflation of footballs during the AFC Championship game, the NFLPA filed a number of documents in court Tuesday, including the full transcript from Brady’s June 23 appeal hearing. If you’re a masochist y...

Adrian Beltre Messes With Someone Else, For Once
Adrian Beltre’s frequently the target of his teammates’ antics, usually when he excels, but the Rangers third baseman had some fun as the instigator with Astros third base coach Gary Pettis Tuesday night....

The Improbable Story Of Baseball's Wildest Comeback
It definitely ain’t over ‘til it’s over. The 116-win 2001 Seattle Mariners were one of the greatest teams, in any sport, to not win a championship. Led by Lou Piniella, the team was built for success: they boasted great pitching, an impeccable knack for getting on base (their .360 OBP was the highes...

The NFL's Uniform Policies Are Even More Tight-Assed Than You Thought
Everyone has always known that the NFL’s uniform policy was incredibly strict—this is made clear every time a player is fined for wearing the wrong color or length of socks—but thanks to the documents dumped in the NFLPA’s lawsuit against the NFL, we now know that the policy is in fact a monument to...

The Full Story Of Tom Brady's Destroyed Cell Phone
The biggest revelation from Roger Goodell’s decision upholding Tom Brady’s four-game suspension was that Brady’s cell phone was destroyed shortly before meeting with Ted Wells and his investigators, even though he knew Wells wanted access to the contents of his text messages. Here is how Wells descr...

Highlights Of Tom Brady's Personal Emails, Revealed In NFLPA Lawsuit
Part of the prodigious information dump related to Tuesday’s NFLPA lawsuit against the NFL is a mammoth collection of Tom Brady’s emails, each carefully tagged by an expert as possibly relevant to the Patriots quarterback’s four-game suspension for allegedly manipulating footballs. The relevations t...

Here Are The Emails That Helped Start Ballghazi
Like all great soap operas, it’s easy to lose track of where all the drama began. Here, thanks to the massive amount of paper filed by the NFL player’s union in federal court, is a piece of Ballghazi’s birth, first pointed out by the Boston Globe’s Ben Volin. It’s Jan. 17, 2015, and Indianapolis Col...

Here's The "Integrity Of The Game" Honor Code The NFL Says Brady Broke
For the first time—as far as we can tell—the NFL’s secret honor oath has become public, as part of the NFLPA’s lawsuit over Tom Brady’s suspension. It’s this “Integrity Of The Game Certification” upon which the NFL has hinged its four-game ban on the Patriots quarterback, and yet the text of this ho...
![Here Is The Transcript From Tom Brady's Appeal Hearing [UPDATED]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1372094296646432659.jpg)
Here Is The Transcript From Tom Brady's Appeal Hearing [UPDATED]
The NFLPA has filed their suit against the NFL over Tom Brady’s four-game suspension in New York federal court today, after their gambit to have the suit heard in Minnesota was rejected. Judge Richard Berman declined to allow the parties to confidentially submit supporting materials under seal, and ...

Classic Man: "What To Do If The Pilot Dies"
Frequently in this space, we will consult a new entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. This is our first example, on the matter of air travel. ...

Report: Arian Foster's Groin Injury Might Require Surgery
Arian Foster injured his groin at Monday night’s practice, and the fear is that the Texans running back might need surgery, according to ESPN’s Tania Ganguli:...