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The Family Dispute Over Ownership Of The Saints Is Getting Ugly
This morning, an official press release was sent out announcing that New Orleans Saints and Pelicans owner Tom Benson had drastically restructured his plans for the inevitable ownership transfer of each team. Under the new plan, the 87-year-old Benson's daughter, Renee Benson, and her two children...
All Hail St. Bernardus Abt 12, A Trophy Beer For The Sane, Common Man
I bet a lot of you handsome devils have had the pleasure of drinking Heady Topper. I don't want to give away the whole punch line to an upcoming Drunkspin, but, just between you and me: pretty good shit, right?...
Witness: Robert Allenby Hurt Himself After A Trip To The Strip Club
Professional golfer Robert Allenby's bizarre kidnapping story—the one in which he claims that he was kidnapped from a Honolulu wine bar, beaten, robbed, and then dumped in a park six miles away—keeps springing more leaks. ...
Basketball Is Dead. The Knicks And Sixers Murdered It.
All the precious, fragile, bitterly-won gains of humankind's wretched, fitful, brave, millennia-long upward struggle went up in white-hot magnesium flames last night in Philadelphia and burned away to powder. All for nothing. All fantasies, every damn one. The Knicks and Sixers have shown us ours...
Baylor Played An NAIA Team For The Sake Of A Dopey Movie
There's a noticeable oddity among today's college basketball box scores: The Baylor Bears, a nationally ranked Division I team, beat the hell out of the Huston-Tillotson Rams, an NAIA team that has a few Division I schools on its schedule, but has no real business playing against the big boys. The m...
Robert Allenby's Kidnapping Story Challenged By Another Witness
Robert Allenby's tale of his alleged kidnapping sounded implausible from the beginning, and now another witness has gone on the record disputing it. You can read our detailed story on Allenby's alleged Friday night "kidnapping" and the investigation that followed, but basically: PGA golfer Robert ...
Which Porn Video Was This ESPN Recruiting Analyst Just Watching?
This here is a screenshot of a hastily deleted tweet that was sent out by ESPN college football recruiting analyst Gerry Hamilton. As you can see, Hamilton forgot to double-check exactly what link he pasted into his tweet before hitting send....
Boston Bars City Employees From Criticizing The Olympics
Nobody who lives in Boston actually wants the city to win its bid for the 2024 Olympic games. And yet, in a joinder agreement between the city and the United States Olympic Committee, mayor Marty Walsh has signed a contract that forbids city employees from speaking negatively about the big, the IOC,...
How To Survive At The Poker Table
Poker used to be cool. From Wild Bill Hickok getting shot up over aces and eights to Paul Newman and Robert Shaw eyefucking each other in The Sting, it has always held a place in American culture as the game you'd find grown-ass men playing in the smoke-filled back rooms of grown-ass places. Blame...
Oregon Fan Gets Ohio State Tattoo To Settle Bet; Looks Sad About It
I want to call this dude a poor, unlucky bastard, but he didn't have to go and make that bet. Maintained his honor, though:...
This Awful Beer Is Great, Because Context Matters
Yesterday I fucked off work around two in the afternoon, which is to say about an hour after I finally fucked back onto work for the first time since last Thursday. I'd sincerely intended to bravely struggle through a full afternoon of hiding behind my keyboard, but then I got a text from one of m...
NCAA Investigating Academic Fraud At 20 Colleges
Remember that academic fraud scandal at UNC, the one that revealed the term "student-athlete" to be just as hollow and fraudulent as you always assumed it was? Well, get ready to start hearing about many more scandals just like it....
Report: NFL Was Aware Of Patriots Deflation Allegations Before Sunday
This, at least, answers one of the peripheral questions surrounding claims that the Patriots illegally deflated Tom Brady's footballs: just how and when the Colts and the NFL became aware of the funny business....
The Ballghazi Takes Are Here, And They Are Fucking Insane
You knew they were coming, America. The second the Patriots got busted for doctoring footballs, you knew the TAKENAMI would rush in. And VERILY IT HAS COME TO PASS. Oh, people. Oh, this is my Christmas. These takes are so pure in their stridency, so firm in their conviction that ROGER GOODELL M...
The Patriots' Ballghazi Scandal Cannot Be Overblown Enough
If you've been struggling to care about the Patriots being accused of deflating footballs, and have been hoping the whole thing would just blow over so we could get to talking about a truly excellent and fascinating Super Bowl matchup, you, my friend, are shit out of luck. Ballghazi is real, and it ...
Report: 11 Of 12 Patriots-Supplied Footballs Were Underinflated
There has been two days worth of smoke surrounding Ballghazi, and now it looks like there might actually be a fire. According to ESPN's Chris Mortensen, the NFL's investigation into whether the Patriots deflated footballs during Sunday's AFC Championship Game has found that 11 out of the 12 balls th...
Christ, It’s The "Creamy Vs. Crunchy Peanut Butter" Debate Again
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering screen angst, littering, socks, and more....
Andy Dalton, Seventh Alternate QB, Will Play In The Dumb Pro Bowl
When the NFL totaled up the votes and named six QBs to the Pro Bowl, it also drew up a list of alternates for when players inevitably bailed due to injury or just having better things to do. That list of alternates goes down a long way. Andy Dalton, basically the King Ralph of quarterbacks, is a Pro...