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Toronto Will Make Sebastian Giovinco World's Highest-Paid Italian Player
Once you've tried to wrap your head around the nebulous machinations that resulted in Toronto FC's new star-studded roster, you're left wondering how exactly the team convinced certain players to join the league. In the case of Sebastian Giovinco, the pitch was simple: "How would you like to be the ...

And Now, Your Worst Failed Romantic Gestures
Back in eighth grade, I fell in love with a girl who didn't want anything to do with me, and the lovesickness got so bad that I played up the friend angle and called her every night, hoping and praying she would change her mind and want to hook up with me (NOPE). Anyway, I've told this story befo...

Robert Allenby's Kidnapping Story Just Keeps Getting Weirder
Golfer Robert Allenby, whose story of being kidnapped from a Hawaii wine bar, beaten, and dumped in the street sounded too incredible to be true, probably needs to explain why his only witness now says that everything he's claimed is wrong....

How To Meet Your Significant Other's Parents Without Terrifying Them
Of all the fraught rites of new-relationship escalation—Facebook status changes and move-ins and one of you using the toilet while the other showers and so on—none inspires more anticipatory dread than the Parent Meet. And for a whole host of legitimate reasons: the psychic weight of parental app...

Reports: D'Qwell Jackson's INT Triggered Deflated Ball Investigation
The NFL's investigation into whether the Patriots deflated footballs during their AFC Championship Game victory over the Colts was triggered by Colts linebacker D'Qwell Jackson's second quarter interception, according to reports from both WCVB's Mike Lynch and Newsday's Bob Glauber. Lynch reports ...

David Blatt Plunked By Errant Pass
Cleveland handily dispatched Chicago tonight for their third straight win, continuing to right the ship after going 1-7 with that LeBron James fellow out injured. But while the heat on coach David Blatt's seat has somewhat dissipated—and he's not been moved around by James in a few nights—his life i...

Fowler Falls For Fake Website, Makes Crazy Claims About Tennis Star
Tonight's Australian Open coverage on ESPN2 featured announcer Chris Fowler explaining to the audience that Japanese pro Kei Nishikori is, among other things, the highest-paid tennis player in the world and the owner of a restaurant chain, a soccer team, and clothing and perfume lines. None of tho...

Throwing The Ball Off Your Defender's Hands: The New Bounce Pass
When a player bulldogs their way into the lane, it can be tough to find a teammate to pass to. With their body and focus on the hoop, most of the court isn't in their line of vision. Hitting a teammate at the top of the key, for instance, means whipping a difficult no-look pass or telegraphing their...

Here's Martin Luther King Jr. Telling A Joke On <i>The Tonight Show</i>
OK, it's not a good joke, but the man was busy. It was Feb. 8, 1968, and Martin Luther King Jr. and the Southern Christian Leadership Conference were in the thick of planning the Poor People's Campaign, which would culminate in a tent city going up on the Mall in Washington. It was also just two mon...

This Is How Close The Seahawks Came To Never Even Starting A Comeback
At The MMQB, Robert Klemko has a fascinating breakdown of the Seahawks' fake field goal that got them on the board and set the stage for their historic comeback. And it's incredible just how specific a scenario the Seahawks required to even give the green light for punter Jon Ryan to loft that tou...

Men Should Not Wear Jewelry
Like most other men, you might someday find yourself standing in the glow of flickering department-store lights, tempted by the prospect of wearing jewelry. "Jewelry would make me look powerful—masculine, but sensitive," you might reason, fingering an especially resplendent wallet chain. "Ryan Gos...

MLS Is Putting The Fix In For Toronto FC, Right Before Our Eyes
Not that this is any real secret, but it deserves to be said as often as possible: MLS is rigged. The league jointly owns each individual team, centrally controls all major decisions, and has a rule book as regularly erased and written over as a chalk board. With yesterday's reported news that Juven...

Max Scherzer's Contract Isn't Quite As Impressive As It Seems
The Washington Nationals have reportedly signed Max Scherzer to a seven-year, $210 million deal. That's a lot of money! That's damn near Clayton Kershaw money! Except that it's not, really....

Hey, Here's A Photo Of Tiger Woods Without His Fake Front Tooth (Yes)
Go with me on this for a second. If you were gonna fly all the way out to Italy to surprise your girlfriend at her job—she's up for a record! this is important to her!—and go through the trouble of letting her family know ahead of time, and having them keep it a secret, you'd probably take a second ...

Paul Pierce Channels Surly Russell Westbrook In Postgame Interview
On Friday night, Thunder point guard Russell Westbrook pulled a Marshawn Lynch during his postgame media scrum, answering every question with some version of "we did a good job executing" before looking one reporter dead in the face and saying, "I just don't like you." Wizards small forward and joll...

Tom Brady Calls Ball-Tampering Allegations "Ridiculous"
Tom Brady, fresh off absolutely destroying the Colts, flying to Indianapolis to beat up their children, then salting the Indiana earth so that nothing will ever grow again, addressed the NFL's pending investigation into whether the Patriots illegally deflated footballs, and just as quickly dismissed...
![Patriots Under NFL Investigation For Deflating Footballs [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/nd1hgkzxcuyzoameq25e.jpg)
Patriots Under NFL Investigation For Deflating Footballs [Update]
WTHR's Bob Kravitz is reporting the NFL is investigating whether the New England Patriots illegally deflated footballs during the team's AFC Championship game against the Colts Sunday night....

Tom Brady Not Left Hanging
Tom Brady usually gets left hanging. Tonight, he succeeded in finding a target for his dainty little high-five. Congrats, Tom!...

Let's Laugh At These Poor Seahawks Fans Who Left The Game Early
Things were not looking very good for the Seahawks with a few minutes left in regulation. Then Seattle ran off a miracle comeback filled with miracle plays, and won on an overtime touchdown. It was a wonderful game. And these poor suckers missed the comeback because they left early. ...