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Photoshop Contest: New York Knick Carmelo Anthony
The Knicks had a wholly shit Christmas, and Carmelo let us see exactly how he felt about it, which was... Sleepy? Disdainful? The defeated yet removed seething of a man who has an opt-out clause coming up? (Maybe he was simply peeing his pants.)...


This Little Soccer Fan Is Not Happy With Her Parents' Prank Gift
Oh man. These Portuguese parents, who trolled their Benfica-supporting daughter by giving her a shirt from rival team Porto, will think twice before crossing their kid again. That ice grill she hits them with is something fierce....

"Dad Gets College Football Tickets For Christmas" Video Has A Twist
So, videos of college football fans getting tickets for Christmas are popping up all over, as they do every holiday season, but this one stands out for the elaborate scheme. It's on par with the final minutes of a soap opera....

Tim Howard Gets Red Card To End Everton's 2013 Unbeaten Home Record
Everton only needed to win or draw each of their last two matches at Goodison Park this year to go all of 2013 unbeaten at home. Their match against Southampton on Sunday was always going to be difficult to navigate, but today the Blues, in fourth place, hosted last-place Sunderland in what was expe...

Texans Linebacker Reveals He Had Brain Surgery Two Years Ago
Jeff Tarpinian wasn't a notable name when he got to the NFL. Signed as an undrafted rookie by the Patriots in 2011, he primarily played on special teams until he went to the Texans this season. With Brian Cushing's season-ending injury, Tarpinian's seen a little bit of time at inside linebacker, but...

What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?
As in past years, the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission has created a searchable database of emergency room visits around the country. And as in past years, we have trolled the data for the finest examples of insertions showcasing extraordinarily bad luck and/or ingenuity. [Note: Headline has ...

J.J. Watt's Mom Wants Him To Fix His Nose
J.J. Watt's already intimidating without blood on his face, but when he does bust open his nose, like he did in Week 4 against the Seahawks, it makes him terrifying. Imagine being a quarterback, seeing a six-foot-five behemoth with a bloody face trying to take him to the turf. This injury recurs eve...

Geriatric Idiot On The Field Is Having A Blast
Concluding a match in Portugal's Primeira Liga between Braga and Mariti—blah blah blah, oh snap, check out this old lady bum rushing the field!...

D.C. Santa Claus Shot With Pellet Gun In Front Of TV Crew
Here's some horrible footage from Washington, D.C. station WJLA. The ABC affiliate was covering a toy giveaway in the southeast side of the city when somebody shot Santa Claus in the back. ...

Missouri Players Flip Their Shit After Seeing Cotton Bowl Gifts
Each college football bowl has a specific gift package for the players participating, and it's safe to say the Missouri Tigers were happy with the Cotton Bowl's presents. The video starts out with some nice team apparel—you have to serve the appetizers first—but when the Apple products come out, hol...

The Texans Have The Saddest Christmas Tree In The NFL (Naturally)
The Wall Street Journal assigned eight members of its sports staff to judge photos of 29 of 32 NFL teams' Christmas trees. Because the universe bends toward order, the Texans have the very worst. ...

Someone Please Help Eddie DeBartolo Open His Beer
Here's a funny moment from last night's Monday Night Football broadcast, in which 49ers owner former 49ers owner Eddie DeBartolo Jr., desperate for something to wash down a mouthful of snacks, attempts to crack open a beer. It does not go well....

Tim Duncan Makes Amir Johnson Fall With The Most Duncan Crossover Ever
Shut it down, basketball. Shut it down....

Deck Us All With Boston Charlie
From the great Walt Kelly (circa 1948). ...

College Hockey Player And Coach Suspended For Not Filling Out Form
Here's a heartwarming story for the holiday season about a college hockey coach who did the right thing, a player who did nothing wrong, and the insipid bureaucracy that suspended them both, apparently just for the hell of it....

Synchronized Soccering Is Going To Be Huge
Personally, I prefer the "Hell yes! Swap mouths! Now" guy to his silent partner, but what do I know?...

Bye, Candlestick
[They played one last regular-season football game at the unlovable old pile in an unlovable corner of America's most overrated city. San Francisco's Candlestick Park—like most sports arenas, with the notable exception of the one replacing it—began life as a million-dollar swindle, and it seems only...

Ohio Player Gets A Football To The Face While Minding His Own Business
The Beef 'O' Brady's Bowl is going on right now. Don't worry about missing it, because it's the Beef 'O' Brady's Bowl. What you do need to see, however, is this poor Ohio Bobcat catching a football with his face. ...

Report: Tony Romo Out For The Season
With a victory against Philadelphia next Sunday, the Cowboys are in the playoffs, but Tony Romo won't get the chance to help his team win or lose or whatever it is Romo does. According to Adam Schefter, he's out for the rest of the season with a back injury....