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Look At This Fucking Hoopster: Lollapalooza 2011 Edition
It is August in Chicago, and that, of course, means that young people have descended upon the city for Lollapalooza so that they can post Facebook albums of themselves drinking Budweiser tall boys with Kid Cudi in the background and the caption "post-punk punk is dead tho." It also means that it is ...

Look At This Fucking Hoopster: Lollapalooza 2011 Edition
It is August in Chicago, and that, of course, means that young people have descended upon the city for Lollapalooza so that they can post Facebook albums of themselves drinking Budweiser tall boys with Kid Cudi in the background and the caption "post-punk punk is dead tho." It also means that it is ...

This Evening: Tony Romo Lets His T-Shirt Do The Talking
Your p.m. roundup for Aug. 8, the day we learned even Lamborghinis can get better. H/T to Johnny Menace for the photo. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: Boone Logan Ex Machina
New York Yankees starting pitcher Bartolo Colon threw himself-and all humanity-on the mercy of the universe Friday night, by daring to pitch against the Boston Red Sox. And the universe delivered a mixed verdict: 4.2 IP, 6 H, 2 R, 2 K, hooked for Boone Logan with the bases loaded in the fifth. The Y...

The One Where Some Guy Tries To Sell Us Evidence Of Michelle Beadle Flirting With Aaron Rodgers At The ESPYs
Welcome back to Deleted Scenes. This space is now reserved for those scuzz-money entrepreneurs who've unsuccessfully tried to sell us prurient information. This is also where we'll run notable emails we've received from some of our readers. All emails are [sic]'d. Enjoy. ...

Sarah Silverman Helps Kick Off Deadspin's Second Attempt At Comedy Week
Some of you may notice how we've attempted to initiate some theme weeks into our editorial content this past year, including topics that have little or no connection to sports whatsoever. Last April's Comedy Week was our first trip into this uncharted territory, done in conjunction with our former f...

In 1995, An ESPN Cameraman Captured Fenway Fans Having An Over-The-Jorts Three-Way (UPDATE)
Oh, 1997. Back when we thought murdering Vince Foster was the worst our government could do. Back when we could watch both Mad About You and Caroline in the City. Back when the Red Sox were so mediocre and uninteresting that over-the-jorts horndoggery could occur in a half-empty Fenway Park. These ...

Stay The Hell Away From Rehabbing Stephen Strasburg, You Mongrels, Minor League Team Tells Press
You may think it's Strasmas in August for the scribes of Hagerstown, Maryland, but you'd be wrong. Dead wrong....

Manscaping And A Mankini Helped MMA Reach Its Aesthetic Nadir At UFC 133
No one watches UFC—what with its bloody noses, sweaty chests, cauliflower ears—for beauty's sake. No one would confuse Dana White with Donna Karan. But holy lord, things got ugly in one of the undercard fights last night....

Radio Guy Apologizes For Calling Giants Pitcher An "Illegal Alien"
When the Phillies and Giants sorta-brawled last night, radio guy Tony Bruno (on right in photo) sent out this Tweet: "gutless #!@%*! Giants. Bochy is a coward for having his illegal alien pitcher hit a guy since mighty Frisco boys ..." and quickly deleted it. But nothing's quickly deleted. ...

If He Knew How, Nick Saban Would Troll Football Websites To Get Back At Reporters
University of Alabama football coach Nick Saban's "first news conference of the preseason practice schedule" is annually a seminal moment in Tuscaloosa. At this year's FNCotPPS, Saban expressed dismay with the speed by which stories/rumors/innuendo spreads in the information age. Sayeth Saban to t...

The Phillies And Giants Engaged In One Of Those Brawls That Really Aren't Brawls But Look Good On TV Anyway
Your morning roundup for Aug. 6, the day our Chinese overlords recommended we seek treatment for our mooching-trillions addiction. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

There's No Cryin' In Mutton-Bustin'
North Texas's world-renowned mutton-bustin' exhibition, the Mesquite Championship Rodeo, will soon be upon us. Which means Good Day Dallas, with whom we've had some fun before, had to visit the rodeo. And when they visit, everything goes wrong. Because, you see, these are four-year-olds riding waywa...

Cockblocked By J.R. Smith!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

What Jock Culture Does To Pukes Like You
The following piece originally ran in The Nation's sports issue, on newsstands now....

David Ortiz Wants His Fucking RBI
Before last night's game, Ortiz crashed Terry Francona's press conference with some strong language and poor timing. "I'm fucking pissed. We need to have a talk."...

Shane Victorino Could Have At Least Tried To Help The Kid Up
Your morning roundup for Aug. 5, the day after Pete Carroll ceded all responsibility for the Seahawks. Video of Victorino's indifference to the the bat boy falling is here. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Pee Wee Herman Spent Some Time With Tony Romo Today At Cowboys Camp
Per the Dallas Morning News, "Pee-Wee Herman was at Cowboys' practice Thursday night in a gray suit with a red bowtie. He took some time to pose for a photo with Jerry Jones and his sons, Stephen and Jerry Jr. No word on if coach Jason Garrett will hang it up at Valley Ranch as another motivational...

This Young Astros Fan Was Not Bashful About Flipping The Reds Off Last Night
The Houston Astros averted their 75th loss of the season last night in no small part because of some leftfielder named J.D. Martinez's two-RBI double to left in the seventh. This was an overwhelmingly awesome moment for one excitable boy fan who flipped a double bird....

Here's An Awkward Interview In Which Tommy Lasorda Ponders How He'd Pitch To A Dwarf
Last night, Tommy Lasorda made it perfectly clear that he wants to be referred to as "Tommy Pump" from now on. At present, Tommy Pump is on a mission to right the wrongs of Dodgers fandom....