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This Is Not A Place Either Of Us Want To Be, And For That I Am Sorry
Daulerio asked me to describe my experience at the Rick's Cabaret on Monday night. This is probably the best I can do. Strip clubs are not about decadence, or fantasy, or even commerce. They are, at their core, about interaction. The dance is not delicate, or disguised. This is not a place where som...
When We Were Kings: One Night At Rick's Cabaret
"I don't get the Derek Jeter thing, " one dancer named Julianne says from across a four top table in the dimly lit dining room of Rick's Cabaret. "He's so normal looking." Two other girls, Holly and, oh, I don't know remember what her name was — Bambi, maybe?— agree. "Yes, he's really not that hands...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you get choked up over a damn space robot ... • College Football: Ball State Cardinals at Miami Red Hawks (7:00 p.m., ET) I still think PCs are better than MACs. [ESPN2] • Cards: World Series Of Poker, Final Table (9:00 p.m., ET) I wonder who wins? [ESPN] • Movie: "Midway" (8:00 ...
A Little Trash Talk For Your Tuesday
First, the reasons Kevin Garnett's taunting actions here are a big bowl of wrong: the finger-waving gestures you see in the stills and in the video below are from the movie Bring It On. What? Kevin Garnett is a 15-year-old girl? Also, after all that tongue-wagging and gesturing, Jose Calderon whistl...
Yep, That's A Late Hit
Crowd noise can be a problem when you're on the road, but sometimes it affects the home team as well. Like when you're blitzing the quarterback and you don't hear the refs blow the play dead and suddenly you find yourself "unabated to the quarterback." And then, maybe you break his collarbone. It h...
Barack Obama Will Not Take Away Your Ties Or Your Hair
I don't remember where I saw it, but about a year-and-a-half ago, in one of those "Hey, there's a cool black guy running for President!" stories, the writer posited that Barack Obama, if he were to somehow win (crazy!), would have something immediately in common with John F. Kennedy: He could destro...
More Failed Shoplifting Tales From Not-So-Smart Athletes
A 20-year-old Binghamton University basketball player has been booted off the team after being charged with shoplifting from an incident on October 26. 20-year-old Malik Alvin was confronted by Wal-Mart security after he attempted to abscond with 36 condoms shoved down his pants. Alvin (Al-viiiin!) ...
Many Primates Still Not Sure Who Won Sunday's NASCAR Race
Condolences to those who were watching the NASCAR Sprint Cup race from Phoenix Motor Speedway on Sunday. Just to fill you in, Jimmie Johnson won. It was high time that auto racing had its own Heidi Bowl, and ABC obliged, awkwardly cutting away from the Checker O'Reilly Auto Parts 500 in the Eastern ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you try in vain to return that broken eyePod ... • NCAA Basketball: Presbyterian Blue Hose at Duke Blue Devils (7:00 p.m., ET) Devils vs. an entire religion? I like those odds. [ESPNU] • NFL: Monday Night Football: San Francisco 49ers at Arizona Cardinals (8:30 p.m., ET) Pro foot...
Bill "Spaceman" Lee Defends Manny, Canadians and Irish Assassins
Bill Lee isn't famous because he was a good pitcher for a few years in the 1970s. He's famous (and beloved) because he has absolutely no filtering mechanism between his brain and his mouth. The man is a quote machine and so when Boston recently honored him, Mo Vaughn and Mike Greenwell by inducting ...
Rejected Commenter Theater 5: Assignment Miami Beach
To keep the comments as fresh and outstanding as they've been up to this point, Commenting Guru Rob Iracane will write a bi-weekly Comment Ombudsman column. It runs every other week. This is that week. Mr. Iracane, co-proprietor of the brilliant Walkoff Walk , is also the guy who approves comments ...
Mike Van Ryn Is Having A Rough Year
The NHL season is only a few weeks old, but for Toronto Maple Leafs defenseman Mike Van Ryn it probably feels like an eternity. Back in October, he removed a pane of glass from the boards in Boston with his face and on Saturday night he was on the receiving end of this rather nasty boarding penalty...
To Watch Tonight: This (Almost) Concludes Our Broadcast Day
What to watch while preparing for a good night's sleep before your big Buttcrack Summit... • Something of a Theme: Beer for My Horses (7:00 pm ET) [CMT] and "Blue Collar Comedy Tour: One for the Road" (7:30 pm ET) [COM] - We may not have to hear The King's English all night. • Movie: The Cable Guy...
Saturday Night Live Blog: #9 Oklahoma State at #2 Texas Tech
The Big XII has thirteen teams in the Top 10, and this is just another night in which two of them square off on a Saturday night. The undefeated Red Raiders get their second straight prime-time big game against the once-defeated Cowboys. Brent Musberger and Kirk Herbstreit brand cows with their init...
To Watch Tonight: Whatever Happened to General Eisenhower?
What to watch while not watching porn at work anymore ... • Movie: *batteries not included (8:30 pm ET) [HBO Family] - "Frank! It's the love boat to Cuba! Shuffle board and pineapples filled with rum. Know what they do? They put little paper umbrellas sticking out the top so that when it rains, it d...
New York HS Team Beefs Up At QB
Usually, "freak of nature" is a moniker reserved for an overly-gifted athlete with little regard for his teammates or the intricacies of game. But Ellenville (NY) High's Tony Casamento is a little bit different. Tony has to be the heaviest quarterback in America, checking in at a svelte 309 pounds. ...
All-Purpose Pitching Machine Also Teaches Kids Not to Lie
We had this one really hard teacher in junior high. You know the type of teacher that thinks they're preparing you for the harsh realities of adulthood through tough love, including random screaming and no late papers and picking books about four grades higher than your class' skill set and wonderin...
No Word If Kutcher Is Asking Them For Painkillers
If you thought appearing in a bunch of shitty movies and banging some waif who was barely girl-next-door hot 20 years ago would impress a group of high school freshman football players, dude, you'd be, like, totally wrong and shit! There's a fun report out from Star regarding Ashton Kutcher's latest...
Justin Tuck Has One Less Check To Write
If you thought Justin Tuck got screwed out of $7,500 earlier this week, you weren't the only one. The indefatigable Michael David Smith (via The Star-Ledger) is reporting on PFT that that bullshit fine levied on Tuck for his hit on Brooks Bollinger has been rescinded. You better pull up your socks ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you waste the rest of your day rolling fake dice ... • NBA: Miami Heat at San Antonio Spurs (8:00 p.m., ET) Who is your favorite Hot? [ESPN] • College Football: Nevada Wolf Pack at Fresno State Bulldogs (9:00 p.m., ET) So it's like a ... dog fight? [ESPN2] • NBA: Dallas Mavericks...