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To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you "accidentally" steal someone's car ... • College Football: Maryland Terrapins at Virginia Tech Hokies (7:30 p.m., ET) Something is definitely hokey here. [ESPN] • College Football: TCU Horned Frogs at Utah Utes (8:00 p.m., ET) Great horny toads! [CBS College Sports No one get...

How To Quietly Open A Beer Can. Jamboroo, Week 10.
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs, well, every Thursday afternoon during the NFL season. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," featuring 100% new material, is available RIGHT FUCKING NOW in stores and online here. You can email Drew here. Read him during the week at KSK. My ...

Going For Gold At The Peasant Olympics
You didn't think that China spent $500 million of our hard-earned mortgage debt on the Bird's Nest just so some namby pamby athletes could run around inside it for two weeks and then let it sit empty, did you? There are plenty of other athletic contests that can be held there. Like the popular and e...

Perhaps Burglars Should Skip Ronnie Wilson's House
One, two, three, four, five ... I count about 20 direct hits on the target here, proof that you should probably not try the window at Ronnie Wilson's place if you forget your key. Wilson has had plenty of time for traget pratice lately after being suspended by Florida coach Urban Meyer, who acknowle...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you find a plus-size woman (around the clock) ... • College Football: Northern Illinois Huskies at Ball State Cardinals (8:00 p.m., ET) I think a win here definitely moves BSU past Penn State. [ESPN2] • NBA: Chicago Bulls at Cleveland Cavaliers (8:00 p.m., ET) What do you think C...

Rinku And Dinesh Go To White Castle The Majors
Not since Apu quit the Kwik-E-Mart have we seen a more unlikely story involving people from India. Meet Rinku Singh and Dinesh Patel, a pair of teenagers with dreams of playing Major League baseball. It was Walkoff Walk which first introduced the sporting blogosphere to these guys back in May, when ...

Soccer Historian Keeps Long-Abandoned Hope Alive
Are you now or have you ever been affiliated with the North American Soccer League? If so, you can stop boring your friends with tales of late-'70s "cleat parties" and actually do something useful. Like contacting NASL superfan Dave Wasser, who is amassing the world's largest collection of game tape...

The Patriots Dole Out Their Swift, Kraftian Justice, Thus Ending The Short Career of One Cheerleader
Caitlin Davis, the 19-year-old Patriots cheerleader who was featured in this Deadspin item, photographed with a Sharpie in hand, posing over a passed out individual covered in penis drawings was dismissed from pompom duties effective yesterday, according to the Boston Herald. The paper insinuates th...

Brandon Marshall Would Like to Get a Few Things Off His Chest
The Miami Dolphins walloped the Denver Broncos this past Sunday 27-16 and leading the post-game victory gloating was, of course, linebacker Joey Porter. After the victory, the nine-year veteran called Broncos wide receiver Brandon Marshall "soft" and said the Dolphins defense "got into his head", re...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you hunt down the Chupacabra! (dead animal warning) ... • College Football: Miami Redhawks at Buffalo Bulls (7:30 p.m., ET) If those bathrooms are rockin' ... [ESPN2] • Movie: "Rocky II" (8:00 p.m. + 10:30 p.m., ET) I thought there wasn't going to be a rematch? [AMC] • Politics: ...

Allen Iverson Traded: The Day After
So Allen Iverson is now a Piston. And Chauncey Billiups is heading back to Colorado. And the world now knows the name Cheikh Samb. But what does it mean for Detroit, Denver, Antonio McDyess and the rest of the NBA? Detailed analysis, educated guesses, wild speculation and whatever the hell Woody Pai...

Oaks Christian Has An Overabundance Of Famous Progeny
Here are Nick Montana, Trevor Gretzky and Trey Smith, all of whom play football at Oaks Christian High in Westlake Village, near Los Angeles, and whose rather famous fathers don't have much trouble paying the school's annual $21,640 tuition, I'm guessing. If you want to witness a hilarious sight on ...

Election Night: An Excuse To Stay Up Past 8:30
Well, it's here. When I was a kid, Election Night was one of the few nights of the year I was allowed to stay up past 8:30. (Seriously, my bedtime was 8:30 until I was a freshman in high school. And you wonder why I still wet the bed.) I never knew who any of the candidates were, or even what the "...

You're With Me, Election
Yeah, yeah, I agree; there's something clearly disturbing about Boomer being the last human to interview John McCain and Barack Obama before we all go to the polls today. But look on the bright side: The phrase "Barack and a hard place" was not uttered; Berman didn't lose it and scream at an intern;...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you get out of jury duty to play the ponies ... • NHL: Buffalo Sabres at New Jersey Devils (7:00 p.m., ET) Welcome to Newark! [VS] • NFL: Monday Night Football: Pittsburgh Steelers at Washington Redskins (8:30 p.m., ET) It's a Zornucopia of flavor! [ESPN] • Movie: "Rocky" (8:00 p...

Toronto Writer To Maple Leaf Fans: It's All Your Fault
It's still early in the NHL season, but the Toronto Maple Leafs are solidly in 4th place—right where they've belonged for the past three seasons. If you're not familiar with the rules of ice hockey, that's bad. However, the organization that owns the team—Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment—is doing...

When Oversized NBA Mascots Attack
I'm a huge fan of the hidden camera show brand of humor, which, when done well, can be pretty darned hilarious. Following the jump we have a good example, courtesy of the Houston Rockets. It reminds me of the old British show Trigger Happy TV, which was on Comedy Central briefly a while back. Those ...

Lewis Hamilton Wins F1 Title, Has Hot Girlfriend; Deal With It, Spain
Overcomomg a slick track, various porcupine road hazards and these guys, 23-year-old Lewis Hamilton finished fifth at the Brazilian Grand Prix on Sunday to become the youngest Formula One champion ever. So he celebrated as you or I would; by spending a night in Sao Paulo with his hot rock star girlf...

Allen Iverson On His Way To Detroit
The Detroit Pistons are this close (imagine my thumb and index fingers very near to each other) to trading Chauncey Billiups, Antonio McDyess and Cheikh Samb to the Denver Nuggets for Allen Iverson. The Detroit News was first on this, and others are now saying that the deal has been agreed to in pri...

Phil Fulmer Stepping Down From Tennessee At The End of the Season
In the immediate aftermath of Tennessee's 27-6 loss to South Carolina, for the first time all season Phil Fulmer didn't tell his team not to quit. He talked for only a few moments, barely above a whisper, and then led the team in prayer. We all dropped to one knee and took the hand of the men on bo...