to Page 2078 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after another trip to the penis burn ward ... • NBA: Playoffs, conference semifinals, Chicago at Detroit, Game 5; Golden State at Utah, Game 5. Mulder believes the Warriors still have a chance. Scully does not. [TNT] • NHL: Playoffs, Western Conference final, Detroit at Anaheim, Game 3...

Some Curious Scheduling
• In the women's World Cup, the United States is going to play North Korea on September 11. [Digital Headbutt] • Croon, Sylvester ... croon. [Every Day Should Be Saturday] • Looking closer at that study about race and referees in the NBA. [WSJ Blogs] • The return of Operation Shutdown! [The Fanhouse...

Baseball Players Are Athletes
Seriously, what happened to Antonio Alfonseca? He was always big, but ... wow. We suppose you can eat faster when you have six fingers....

Pity The Poor Buffalo Fan
Heading into the NHL playoffs, the subplot we were most excited about involved the Buffalo Sabres, a team with a long-suffering but rabid — we mean literally rabid; it's in the Buffalo drinking water — fanbase and a No. 1 seed. After they beat the Rangers, it all appeared to be coming together. At l...

Vince Carter Reveals Himself Again
Legitimate question: Why would anyone with any sort of hopes for someday winning an NBA championship spring for Vince Carter this offseason? In the most important game of the year for his Nets, Carter dribbled the ball of his foot during the final possession, ultimately shooting 6-for-23 as the Nets...

The Suns And Spurs Won't Stop Punching Each Other, And It's Awesome
Did you ever wonder just how entertaining those old Knicks-Heat slugfest series could have been had, you know, the actual basketball being played was even slightly tolerable to the eyes? That what this Spurs-Suns series has become: Two amazing teams who play entirely different games trying to force ...

Last Call To Keep Any Of These Close
The general consensus, to this point, is that the Jazz-Warriors and Pistons-Bulls series are pretty much over: The favorites up 3-1 with two home games to close it out. Well, if the Nets and Suns can't hold serve tonight, they might be well be in the same position....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while waiting for the pizza guy to make a delivery whenever he damn well gets around to it ... • MLB: Chicago Cubs at New York Mets. Can we start tearing out the seats for souvenirs yet? [ESPN] • NBA: Eastern Conference semifinals, Cleveland at New Jersey, Game 4; Western Conference se...

One Attractive Sports Wife
• In search of Jamie Kotsay. [UmpBump] • Take that, Tiger. [The Sports Oasis] • You knew this already, but the Cardinals really are toast. [Viva El Birdos] • Recruit decides not to go to Virginia Tech because of killings. [ESPN]...

Carmelo Anthony Should Live Rather Comfortably
Over the weekend, The Rocky Mountain News told the tale of Carmelo Anthony's new pad in suburban Denver. (Via Slushy Gutter.) The place originally was listed at $17 million, but its price was "slashed" to a far more modest $11.95 million. Some great factoids:...

Enough With The Anchorman References
As we mentioned a couple of weeks ago, to keep the comments as fresh and outstanding as they've been up to this point, we've commissioned Commenting Guru Rob Iracane to write a bi-weekly Comment Ombudsman column. It runs every other Monday. This is that Monday....

That Lovable Losing Bull Moose
The continued futility of Teddy Roosevelt to ever win one of the presidential mascot races at RFK Stadium has been well documented, but no one has ever thought to ask Teddy what he thinks of all the trouble he has been having. Finally, The Washington Post sits down Mr. Bull Moose for a loser's lamen...

When They Think About You ...
Last year, MJD told you about the special World Cup vibrators named after German "stars" Michael Ballack and Oliver Kahn, which promised to make women feel "'like you've won the world cup of sex," which hopefully doesn't involve a head butt....

To Watch Tonight...
• 8:00, ESPN. MLB. Detroit Tigers @ Minnesota Twins. A guy named Boof should have a giant red afro, or a curly mustache or something. • 8:00, Comedy Central. Movie. Bad Santa. Underrated in my view, but cursing at children makes me laugh. Don't judge me. • 9:30, TNT. NBA Playoffs. Utah Jazz @ Golden...

The Bulls Aren't Castrated Quite Yet
The Pistons got a little cocky after Game 3, when they took two quarters off, and then still managed to rout the Bulls. They tried the same routine today, but extended it to three quarters, even going so far as to put up a 13-point third quarter and go down by 20. But they couldn't make quite enough...

Brett Favre Threatens To Leave His Kingdom
• Brett Favre asked the Packers to trade him after the draft, then changed his mind. [FOX Sports] • Reggie Bush, putting it down on Kim Kardashian. [The Big Lead] • The Jazz refuse t-shirts to the brokest of their fans. [Shakedown Sports] • Checking in with the security guard at the club where Pac-M...

The Suns Have Made Tim Duncan Into A Bully
In the press conferences following the Spurs/Suns game yesterday, the same reporter asked both Tim Duncan and Mike D'Antoni if they thought the series was physical....

For Your Sunday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure...
12:00, ESPN2. IndyCar Racing. Indianapolis 500 Time Trials. 12:00, ESPNU. College Lacrosse. Georgetown vs. Princeton. 1:00, ESPN Classic. American Gladiators. 7 consecutive episodes. 1:30, TBS. MLB. Atlanta Braves @ Pittsburgh Pirates. 2:00, NBC. PGA Golf. The Players Championship, Final Round. 2:00...

Cooter Continues To Be Plentiful In Tennessee
• Stoned police officer asks 911 operator to confirm that the Red Wings are actually winning, and he is not suffering a hallucination. [freep.com] • Jim Bob Cooter, staying a Vol! [EDSBS] • Rick Reilly, wishing he had a lighter work schedule. [A Pudge is a Sandwich] • Ken Griffey Jr. moves into 6th ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as Queen Elizabeth takes up the entire couch and hogs the remote ... • MLB: Atlanta at Pittsburgh. John Kruk says the smart money's on the Pirates. [TBS] • NBA: Western Conference semifinals, Game 3, Utah at Golden State. Regarding your free throws, Warriors, we think that Alec Baldwin...