to Page 791 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Cats Prove They’re Better Than Dogs
In a battle of cats versus dogs, the felines came out on top....
Tremont Waters’ Layup In Final Seconds Sends LSU To Sweet 16
With just seconds left, Tremont Waters drove the lane and threw the ball up underhand. It banked in, and LSU is going to the Sweet 16. The Tigers beat Maryland, 69-67. Nice....
As I Lay Me Down To Sleep, I Pray For Liberty To Freaking Lose
In case you missed it, your bracket probably got a little worse last night thanks to Liberty University’s upset 80-76 win over Mississippi State. Jerry Falwell Jr.’s infamously strict and alarmingly retrograde university won its first game ever in the NCAA tournament ever and I, for one, am praying ...
James Harden Cooks His Spiciest Meatball Yet
At this point in James Harden’s absurd season, a 27-point first quarter is not all that shocking on its own. The dude has already logged 57 or more points five times in 2019, and the Rockets’ offense is weirdly at its most effective when Harden gets to step back across the three-point line to his he...
Upset Of The Day: Gardner-Webb Toppled By Team No One Believed In
The Virginia Cavaliers proved today that truly, anything is possible during March Madness, as head coach Tony Bennett’s crew upset powerhouse Gardner-Webb for a 71-56 victory in the first round....
UC Irvine Anteaters Snack On Kansas State Wildcats In Upset
After a pretty chalk first day of the NCAA Tournament, the 13-seeded UC Irvine Anteaters picked up the biggest upset of the competition so far, knocking off co-Big 12 champs Kansas State in a 70-64 win....
Let's Remember Some March Madness Guys
It’s just simple arithmetic: There are going to be more Guys than there are actual Dudes in the NCAA Tournament. The Dudes will go on to make some money playing basketball, in the NBA or in Europe or in Asia or possibly in picaresque White Men Can’t Jump hoops-hustler scenarios. The Guys, who are go...
Iowa's Luka Garza Has Extremely Powerful Eyebrows
The portion of the nation that doesn’t pay attention to Big Ten basketball outside of March was introduced to the voluminous eyebrows of Iowa forward Luka Garza in today’s game against Cincinnati, and boy, are they glorious. You can’t coach brows like that....
Stop Excusing Tom Izzo’s Assholery<em></em>
The only thing more predictable than Tom Izzo going apeshit on one of his own players, to the point where MSU freshman forward Aaron Henry’s teammates had to actively restrain the head coach, was the parade of dipshits and assholes rushing to Izzo’s defense and framing any criticism of his sideline ...
The Blue Jackets Should Either Relax Or Panic<em></em>
This is a now-or-never final stretch for Artemi Panarin’s Columbus Blue Jackets, with at least a few of their key players on the way out after this season, and right now the team is seated on the “never” side of affairs. The Blue Jackets lost to the lowly Edmonton Oilers on Thursday night, which, co...
Tom Izzo Isn't Sorry For Having To Be Restrained From Going After A Freshman
Michigan State head coach/psycho Tom Izzo briefly lost his mind yesterday, exploding at freshman forward Aaron Henry during a timeout—after a 10-0 Spartans run, by the way—in MSU’s eventual 76-65 first-round win over Bradley. This is nothing new for Izzo (which is an indictment rather than a defense...
Just Like You, Cam Newton Is Not Having Sex
According to multiple reports from NFL insiders and Deadspin.com, neither you nor Carolina Panthers quarterback Cam Newton are having sex in the month of March. Sources indicate that the news regarding Newton comes as a surprise to those around the league, but about you, not so much....
New Mexico State Out-Choked Auburn And Failed To Pull Off The First Real Upset Of March Madness<em></em>
Fifth-seeded Auburn tried its best to let 12-seed New Mexico State pull off the first big upset of this year’s NCAA tournament by consistently bungling things at the precise moment when they could’ve put the game to bed. Unfortunately, New Mexico State was even more inept when it mattered most, and ...
Tom Izzo Flips Out On Aaron Henry, Has To Be Held Back By Players
No. 2 seed Michigan State hasn’t looked great so far in their first tournament game against Bradley. The Spartans trailed at halftime, but were able to re-established some control over the game with a 10-0 run at the start of the second half. That positive stretch wasn’t good enough to save freshman...
I Can't Stop Looking At This Photo Of Marcus Smart Nonchalantly Shoving Joel Embiid
Joel Embiid stuck out an elbow and a foot, possibly maliciously and definitely in the sort of passive-aggressive way that players sometimes do this stuff to each other; Marcus Smart crashed into them, and then onto the floor; Smart got up and shoved Embiid onto the floor; and Getty’s Mitchell Leff s...
How The Crooks, The Cons, And The Legends Built America's Largest Stadium For The Beating Of The Century
Toledo was a place where you could fight a man for money....
Cavs Rookie Collin Sexton Has Improved Because His Teammates Started Yelling At Him
It’s silly to come down too hard on a rookie season on a roster as desolate and tumble-weeded as this season’s Cavs, and perhaps even dumber for a point guard, given the position’s unforgiving learning curve. Few can emerge from their teens, get plopped into an NBA starting role, and start making al...
50 Years Ago, The <i>Washington Post</i> Started One Of The Biggest Controversies In D.C. Basketball History
The Washington Post released its final rankings for the 2018-2019 high school basketball season earlier this week. DeMatha, a school with perhaps the most storied program in the country, ended up in the top spot in the historically hoops-crazy D.C. region for what was officially the 28th time....
Fletcher Magee's Shooting Remade Wofford. How Far Can It Take Them?
At first glance, the Wofford Terriers seem like a very specific type of college basketball team. Even if you only watch college basketball in March, you know the one: the biggest fish in a mid-major pond, a styles-make-fights oddball match-up challenge for a major program, maybe even an underdog tha...
The Hater's Guide To March Madness
The NCAA Tournament is what you make of it. So is everything else, obviously, but while the tournament is objectively just what it is—a sloppy whirlwind fortnight of stressed-out teenagers just absolutely freaking the fuck out while playing the most important basketball games of their lives—it is al...