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The Capitals Were Finally Flawless
It wasn’t Andrei Vasilevsky’s fault, but it’s hard to beat perfection. The Tampa Bay Lightning goaltender stopped 31 of 33 Capitals shots tonight in Washington’s 3-0 win over the Bolts in Game 6. Several of those saves were spectacular—though unsurprising for anyone who had seen Vasilevsky’s previou...

Collateral Damage
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Wonderteen Juan Soto Homers On First Pitch Of First MLB Start
Nineteen-year-old Nationals outfielder Juan Soto became the youngest position player to start in the majors since 2012 tonight, and he immediately proved his worth. On the very first ball that he saw off Padres pitcher Robbie Erlin, Soto crushed a three-run oppo dinger 422 feet into left, earning a ...

Jury Begrudgingly Rules Against Former USC Coach Todd McNair In NCAA Defamation Suit
After three days of deliberation, the jury in Todd McNair’s defamation lawsuit against the NCAA ruled in favor of college sports’ governing body. The jury reportedly sided with the NCAA 9-3, deciding it did not make false statements about McNair....

God Help Me, I'm Rooting For The Warriors Now
The bleak doom of all good things in this terrible psycho-capitalist hell-society we have made is to be processed and metabolized into an inert clot of blind, gray, mindless nano-goo by precisely the kind of antiseptic, hyper-rational, ahuman actuarial math on display here:...

You Don't Have To Get Cute With The Rockets
The Rockets are coming after Steph Curry. Through the first three games of their series against they Warriors, they have been committed to one idea that they seem to think will give them the best chance to win: use a pick to switch Curry onto the ballhandler on every offensive possession, and then w...

The Deadspin Idiots Try To Build A Chair Faster Than A Chair-Building Robot
I’m concerned that it looks like I’m faking incompetence in this video in order to live down to my pre-build expectations for myself. The people with which I have shared apartments and furniture in the past can tell you that I am not faking it. I can tell you that I only wish that was the case. Thes...

Gabriel Benitez Slammed Humberto Bandenay Straight To Hell<em></em>
The UFC held its first event in Chile on Saturday, and while the only Chilean fighter on the card lost and the main event was a a real stinker, fans who arrived reasonably early at least got to see a spectacular finish. Gabriel Benitez met Humberto Bandenay in the fourth fight of the evening, and th...

One Mountain Biker Dead, Another Injured After Scariest Possible Cougar Attack
On Saturday, two men were mountain biking about 30 miles east of Seattle in the foothills of the Cascade Mountains when they encountered a cougar. Authorities say Isaac Sederbaum and S.J. Brooks did everything right: they dismounted their bikes, stood their ground, and yelled at the animal. After it...

You Have To Love A Big Steph Curry Game
The start of Steph Curry’s Game 3 went much like his Game 1 and Game 2, and by the end of the first half he was 3-of-11 from the field. At that point, Curry was shooting a combined 3-of-20 from three-point range for the series, and it was starting to look like the takeover everyone had been waiting...

LeBron In Full Must-Win Mode Is An Unsolvable Problem
The Cavs opened Game 3 with a huge 22-6 run, and that was more or less that. This was not a case of the winning team grabbing an early lead behind a fluky start and nursing it cautiously until the final buzzer—the Cavs were forceful and decisive early, and did some cool and different things to chall...

Worthless Jedi Absolutely Humiliated By Cunning Novice
Astros mascot Orbit, who is also apparently a Jedi, was challenged to a lightsaber duel by Indians shortstop Francisco Lindor on Friday. Gotta say, I am starting to believe more and more in Luke Skywalker’s bitter “actually the Jedi are busters” preachings:...

J.J. Watt Offers To Pay Funeral Costs For Santa Fe High School Shooting Victims
A gunman armed with a shotgun and a pistol murdered ten innocent people at Santa Fe High School, outside Houston, on Friday. A relatively minor concern for those victims’ families and friends will be how to foot funeral costs for their loved ones, but this news will nonetheless ease their terrible b...

He Earned It
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Astros Manager A.J. Hinch On Santa Fe Shooting: "Thoughts And Prayers Are Great, But They're Not Fixing The Problem"
This morning, a student at Houston-area Santa Fe High School murdered 10 people with a shotgun and a .38 caliber pistol. This is the 22nd time this year that someone with a gun has either killed or injured someone on a high school campus. Astros manager A.J. Hinch was asked about the deadly attack a...

Tom Jurich Gets $7.2 Million, Lifetime Tickets In Louisville Settlement
If there’s one benefit to working in a leadership position at a major college sports program, and there are many, it’s that even if you end up disgraced and fired, you’re probably going to stay rich as hell....

Former Pro Wrestler Tom Magee Severely Beaten By Six Men In Parking Spot Dispute
Former World’s Strongest Man contender, world powerlifting champion, and WWF veteran Tom Magee suffered serious injuries after he was beaten by six men in a dispute over a parking spot yesterday. CBS Los Angeles reports that the dispute broke out near Magee’s Mar Vista home, and neighbors described ...

Elfrid Payton's Hair Has Been Laid To Rest
Through all those tough years in Orlando to his current stint in Phoenix, the most notable feature of Elfrid Payton’s game has been his head. Not his “basketball IQ” or his “clutch mentality”—just that majestic drooping frond on top. Every season it protruded further past the point guard’s forehead....

Alex Ovechkin Has Been Eating This Carb Nightmare Before Every Home Game For 13 Years
Partly it’s superstition, and partly it’s because, as they say, he likes what he likes, Alex Ovechkin eats the exact same thing a few hours before every Capitals home game, and he’s been eating it since his rookie year. Athletes really are different from the rest of us....

Mookie Betts Played Kevin Gausman For A Fool
Mookie Betts, the best non–Mike Trout player in baseball who makes everything look impossibly easy, has a history of showing as little mercy as possible to the division rival Baltimore Orioles. He continued that trend during last night’s 6-2 victory over the O’s in Boston....