ty Page 809 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Woodrow's Woes and Rory's Belt
Rory Sabatini will have plenty of time to do some more shopping at Hot Topic this weekend, as he became one of the top players to miss the cut at the Masters. Those who did survive the first two days at Augusta National are now underway despite a bit of atmospheric wetness. KJ Choi is already +3 fo...

Dontrelle Is Injured, Fat
Dontrelle Willis lasted all of 14 pitches before leaving with a hyper-extended knee, but he was just as shitty before the injury. The high-kicking lefty couldn''t seem to get his kick all the way up, which the Baseball Tonight crew was quick to attribute to his physique, which can only be described...

Nightmare Fuel From the NHL Playoffs
Holy sweet fucking God! I'm just going to sit here for a minute while appreciating my non-destroyed testicles. Continue after the jump for last night's scores, because we might as well talk about hockey as long as we're here. Oh, and a big thanks to Enrico at the 700 Level for making this the first...

The Beckham Men Enjoy Our Finest Athletes
• The Lakers still have a shot at catching the Hornets for the top spot in the Western Conference, and they came out playing like a team that wants homecourt advantage. LA outscored New Orleans 39-20 in the first quarter before the Hornets tenacious second half comeback. However, the Lakers perseve...

About Last Night
What you missed while audibly yelping with glee... • Boxing: Carlos De Leon Jr. > Buddy McGirt Jr. De Leon proved to be the better son of a former champion when he stopped the previously undefeated McGirt in the seventh. • MLB: The Yankees proved their supremacy over the Red Sox with a 4-1 April vic...

This Is What The Dolphins See In (S)Him
These two festive ladies are not your regular Sugar Free Red Bull-guzzling party girls you'd find at Making Time. No, these big, strapping dollies are actually former Michigan offensive lineman. The one with the crutches is Adam Kraus. The one with the shaved belly and blue hair is potential number...

Gay Writer To Royals: Your Calendar Does Not Give Us Chubs
When the Kansas City Royals unveiled a not-so-provocative calendar featuring candid photos of their 2008 squad, it provided ample opportunity for sports bloggers to point and laugh with the usual amount of unbridled enthusiasm. The calendar, whose proceeds go toward a female self-defense program in ...

For You Few Humans Still Paying Attention To Your NCAA Bracket
With the end of the NCAA Tournament tonight, that means not only that One Shining moment is upon us, but also that: Hey! Time to wrap up your tournament pools....

Matt Leinart's Actions Make TheDirty.Com Famous
Matt Leinart's stupefying beer-bong partying and champagne-bottle fellatio did nothing to help his career as an NFL quarterback nor his promotional viability, but it did wonders for the Dirty.com. The site, once lost in the overly-crowded co-ed tit-flashing corner of the blog market, reached critica...

Buzzsaw Girl Is Not Who You Think
The telly selection this afternoon is mediocre. And I can say that with a streak of honesty because the TV companies aren't paying me. Now the Internet, on the other hand ... has TONS of great stuff you can read. And a lot of it can be found on this website! Don't question it. Your retro video game ...

Obama Really Just Wants To Be Dr. J
A couple of weeks ago, Barack Obama appeared on Philadelphia's 610 WIP sports radio station and made a somewhat controversial statement about his grandmother being a "typical white person," which got everybody all fired up. (Ironically? Most of them were typical white people.)...

Which Golden Boy Will Get Wooden?
Storming The Floor looks at the Wooden Award ... if they dare!...

Your AL Central "Preview"
All right, well, the season has supposedly started, though rain on Opening Day has to be some sort of cruel trick from God. So let's wrap up the last division....

The Manatees Are Ready For Their Close-Up (If You Can Fit Them in Frame)
The Florida Marlin's attempt to draw, well, anyone to their ballpark with the attraction of an all-male space eater cheerleader squad made the rounds when it was first announced. Well, the montage sequence of preparation is over. They've run the treadmill with a T-bone steak dangled on a string in f...

Gee, Your New Rule Smells Terrific
There's now a proposal — by, surprisingly, the Kansas City Chiefs — to ban long hair in the NFL next season. The owners will consider it at their meetings in Palm Beach, Fla., next week, because, you know, all the major prblems with the league have been solved. The Steelers' Troy Polamalu is waiting...

Your Super Sweet 16
Once again the highly debated field of 64 has been whittled down to 16 and we can all throw out our Georgetown/Duke heavy brackets and get to work on that Sweet 16 pool. Most of the favorites are still standing but two 12 sees, Villanova and Western Kentucky, are still alive. However, they both face...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while wondering where your dad went with that meat... • NBA: Detroit Pistons at Washington Wizards. And sadly, I won't be attending. [ESPN] • WCBB: Women's Tournament Whip-around coverage. [ESPN2] • Movie: Futurama: Bender's Big Score. [Comedy Central]...

Nobody Puts Baby Roy In a Corner
I don't know much (read: anything) about Patrick Roy's son, but I do believe he's the crazy person in goalie pads fighting for his life for the right to fight....

Curry Is the Son of Sons
Stephen Curry is a cold-blooded assassin. He's like Leon in The Professional. You're not sure about him in the early goings but he wins you over in some crucial moments. Eventually you begin to love him although you know he's destined to die in the end. Anyways... Curry's 30 points (70 in two games...

Nothing Beats the Ham Slam
• A look back at the best backboard shattering dunks of all time. [Josh Q. Public] • Youkilis loves him some Matsuzaka meat [Baseball Musings] • Kobe and Freddie Adu talk shit back and forth. For fun! [Docksquad] • Now that Miggy is rich he can finally eat like a king. [Babes Love Baseballu] • Micha...