ubs Page 86 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Lou Piniella Adds Context To The Soto Stoner Saga
"Look, I have smoked dope one time in my life, and it didn't do a damn thing for me, and I never tried it again.... But a lot of people do (smoke marijuana). You can buy it in California from a pharmacy." [ChiTrib]...
Geovany Soto Likes That Weed
Pictured, Left to Right: Chicago Cubs catcher Geovany Soto and the sweet, sticky herb that he loves to burn and inhale into his lungs, an activity he somehow got caught doing around the time of the World Baseball Classic....
Ryne Sandberg Joins Wade Boggs In The "Stay Out Of Our Club" Brigade
If you are currently in the Hall of Fame and anywhere near a microphone, please state your preference on whether “steroid era” players deserve plaques like yours. Ryne Sandberg is the latest to go on record with a “no.”...
Why Your Stadium Sucks: Wrigley Field
This is a new weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: The Chicago Cubs' Wrigley Field....
It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Gatorade
The fancy schmancy Gatorade dispenser that has adorned the home dugout at Wrigley Field this summer is being removed and replaced with a boring old water cooler. Why? Because people can't be trusted to have nice things....
No Gatorade Machine Is Safe From Zambrano's Wrath
Carlos Zambrano did not make it through his start against the Pirates today and neither did the Gatorade dispenser in the Cubs dugout. Carlos gets ejected, but it's always the electrolytes that have to pay the price....
Carlos Marmol Leaves Team To Be With Wife (Not Pictured: His Wife)
Cub reliever Carlos Marmol is taking a leave of absence from his day job to fly to New York, as his wife is scheduled to give birth there this week. So then who was the very non-pregnant "female companion" he was snuggling with two weeks ago?...
Midwesterners Sure Do Love Their Lawn Mowin' T-Shirts
Irked by the loathsome "Zambrano mows my lawn" shirt found on one Cardinals fan a couple weeks ago, the Wrigley faithful come back with their own interpretation....
Now, Is This Better Or Worse Than "Horry Kow?"
This shirt, worn at Busch Stadium by one cuddly Cardinal fan, was shown off proudly without security hassles. At least the fan with the "Cubs Suck" shirt was forced to turn his inside out. [JSF]...
Carlos Zambrano Needs A Timeout
The Big Z is going on the 15-day DL with a bad hamstring. Should Cubs fans panic? Should they start beheading farm animals? Or get drunk and embrace the Jeff Samardzija Era. [Sun-Times]...
Milton Bradley: 'I Never Had A Problem In My Life Until I Started Playing Baseball'
Milton Bradley's latest media boycott lasted about as long as Kramer's vow of silence on that episode of Senifeld. For someone who's not talking, there sure was a horn 'o plenty of quotes on Thursday....
Cubs Fans Will Never Escape Their Terrible Destiny
A rogue cat invaded Wrigley Field yesterday, reminding Cubbie fans everywhere that the ceaseless torment of loving sport's most accursed franchise will follow them to their eternal damnation beyond the grave....
Breaking: Some Sports Franchises More Equal Than Others
"Don't get me wrong I love America," a reader writes. Whatever Wen Ho, think I don't get my fill of pinkos whining about Fox over at Torture Points Memo?...
Rod Blagojevich Will Tweak Your Lineup
Did former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich really once give Lou Piniella lineup advice? And more importantly, why didn't Piniella take it?...
Well That Didn't Take Long
A tipster writes: "I'm following the Cubs/Cards game on ESPN and the play ticker said that Milton Bradley just got ejected. Haha. I have no idea what happened but I hope it's hilarious."...
The New Milton Bradley Is Cool, Calm And Collected
Milton Bradley says he's ready for any abuse that Cubs fans can dish out. That's because he's a new man; all that childish stuff is in the distant past. Ha ha, but anyway ......
Please Refrain From Humping The $1.5 Billion Stadium, Thank You
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Cubs Just Can't Let Go Of Kerry Wood
Kerry Wood's Wrigley Field locker will remain unoccupied this season, even though the fragile fireballer is now pitching for Cleveland. They've also been asking mutual friends if Wood has said anything about them. [NBC Chicago]...
Shawn Johnson Is Having A Rough Couple Of Weeks
After Shawn Johnson spent last week worried about a deranged stalker, she returns to "Dancing With The Stars" only to be greeted by what appears to be a deranged boner in her partner's pants. (NSFW?)...
Curse Of The Colonel Update: Now PETA's Involved
Of course they are. The animal rights organization has sent an impassioned letter to the Chicago Cubs, advising them not to accept a Japanese baseball team's offer of a curse-breaking Kentucky Fried Chicken statue....