um Page 189 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Swole Tim Lincecum Might Be Eyeing A Comeback
Multiple Cy Young winner Tim Lincecum, who seemingly dropped off the face of the Earth since he last pitched in 2016, has reappeared on baseball fans’ radar looking far beefier than he ever did on a pitcher’s mound. Adam Ottavino of the Colorado Rockies posted a picture on Instagram of what TMZ is c...
Timing Of Trademarks Suggests "New XFL" May Be A Response To NFL Protests
On Friday afternoon, I received a particularly surprising DM from someone whose information is normally solid, if not always reportable. The DM said that Vince McMahon is bringing back the XFL, with a press conference announcing the move on Jan. 25. The scuttlebutt was that not only had ESPN’s 30 fo...
Sad, Rich Teen Gianluigi Donnarumma Has Pissed Off AC Milan Fans Again
Gianluigi Donnarumma is a teenaged, homegrown superstar-in-the-making who plays for one of the biggest clubs in the world, AC Milan. In terms of fan adoration, these facts should put him somewhere on the spectrum between “Spurs fans who’d let Harry Kane make love to their mothers if it would make hi...
Dipshit Saints Fan Sues Team Over Anthem Protests
A Saints fan named Lee Dragna, who appears to be a real dumbass, has filed a lawsuit against the team seeking a refund for his season tickets. He wants the refund because his ability to enjoy Saints games has been ruined by the NFL’s anthem protests....
Luc Robitaille's Wife, Stacia, Shares A Story Of Donald Trump Being An Aggressive Creep
There’s no shortage of stories about President Donald Trump being a gross, aggressive perv, and Stacia Robitaille shared another on Twitter last night:...
MLB Umpire Dale Scott Retires After Series Of Concussions
Longtime MLB umpire Dale Scott has decided to retire, citing a string of concussions in recent years and his fear that any more could lead to long-term health effects....
The Ball Brothers Must Visit Lithuania's Extremely Metal Devil Museum
This afternoon brought the news that two American teens would move to Lithuania to make little money playing basketball for a mediocre club in front of few people....
Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke Is Mad Because <i>Outside Magazine</i> Pointed Out He's A Fly Fishing Novice
One of the stupidest plans that the extremely stupid Trump administration is currently carrying out is a dramatic shrinking of Bears Ears National Monument in Utah. Trump recently announced that he would cut the size of Bears Ears by 85 percent and halved the size of the Grand Staircase-Escalante Na...
The "Art Modell Law" Might Be Columbus's Best Shot At Keeping The Crew
The Columbus Crew’s season is over, but the fight over where they’ll play the 2019 season is becoming increasingly heated. Despite it being a horrendous breach of trust with the city of Columbus and an affront to MLS’ bizarre, artificially deflated business model, MLS czar Don Garber is apparently c...
Vasyl Lomachenko Vs. Guillermo Rigondeaux Is Boxing Fuckery At Its Finest
Vasyl Lomachenko is a gizmo. “Hi-Tech” is a fitting sobriquet for the fighter whose ring style is a dizzying arsenal of bells, whistles, buzzers, beepers, and blinking lights....
Lindsey Vonn: "I Hope To Represent The People Of The United States, Not The President"<em></em>
American skier Lindsey Vonn, who’s returning to the Olympics next year for the first time since 2010, says that she wouldn’t accept an invitation to the White House after the 2018 Games in Pyeongchang if she were invited. In an interview with CNN, Vonn said that she wants to “represent the people o...
Which Potential Olympic Mascot Has The Best Superpowers?<em></em>
Yesterday, the committee organizing the 2020 Toyko Summer Olympics announced the finalists for the official mascots of the Olympic and Paralympic Games. As you can expect in a mascot-mad country like Japan, the process was complicated. Seriously, there were eight meetings of the Mascot Selection Pro...
Oakland A's "Shocked" After Latest Stadium Plan Falls Through
The Oakland A’s have been trying to leave their sewage-logged digs for a new ballpark for what feels like decades now. In September, they expressed their desire to build a new, privately financed stadium near Laney College, right in the middle of Oakland next to Lake Merritt. They’ll have to pick a ...
Donald Trump's Weird Teeth Create The Worst Possible Combination Of Images And Sounds
It’s rude of me to do this, but I’m going to ask that you both watch and listen to this clip of Donald Trump giving a speech today, in which our wet, slurring load of a president seems to be struggling to keep his own teeth in his mouth:...
What The 2024 Olympics Will And Won't Do For Paris
You already know what is worth celebrating about the Olympics. You may know this because the Olympics will not stop reminding you of them, but this does not mean they’re not real. The spirit of sportsmanship is not just a cliché for the telecast, and the games really do give women athletes, underval...
Andre Drummond Looks Like A New Player
Two years ago, I called Pistons center Andre Drummond a hilarious monster, and it was a fitting description. He was player blessed with the strength and cunning to grab 13.8 rebounds a game (4.3 of them on the offensive glass), and the rock-handed touch to shoot 38.6 percent from the free-throw line...
Tiger Woods's Trump National Tune Up Was Apparently A Smashing Success
Tiger Woods played in a foursome Saturday at Trump National Golf Club in Jupiter, Florida, with current world number one Dustin Johnson, idiot President Donald Trump, and Brad Faxon, a PGA Tour Champions player and Fox Sports golf analyst. These casual rounds have taken on real meaning as Tiger gear...
My Fellow Americans, I Regret To Inform You That Our Idiot President Is Being Owned Again
Yes, our dingus mingus of a President said something dumb and wrong, and once again he is being owned online for it. This time, in an effort to protect his image from the indignity of, umm, not being on the cover of one specific issue of one specific magazine, he made some shit up about “actually, I...
Report: NFL May Go Back To Keeping Players In Locker Room During Anthem
NFL owners might have decided last month not to make any changes to the league’s national anthem policy, which meant there would be no punishments for players who are using the anthem as a platform to protest racial inequality. But that doesn’t mean things won’t be changing next year....
I Saw The Buttfumble Live And It Fractured My Family<em></em>
Sometime in the winter of 2010, my dad sat my younger brother and me down for a talk....