um Page 188 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Of Course Ben Roethlisberger Makes A Cameo In Stormy Daniels's Donald Trump Story
If there’s one thing you can be sure of in this world, it’s that all the most awful people in it tend to gravitate towards each other. So even though it’s weird, it’s not necessarily surprising that Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger gets name-checked in Stormy Daniels’s story about humping Don...
Dumb Column: Sacramento Shouldn't Pay For MLS Stadium, But Maybe Sacramento Could Pay For MLS Stadium<em></em>
There’s one MLS expansion slot left, and it’ll soon be awarded to Cincinnati, Sacramento, or Detroit. Sacramento once looked like a lock to get an expansion spot, but it’s now rather uncertain, likely because Sacramento’s ownership group isn’t as flamboyantly wealthy as their competitors....
Okay, Here Is The Last Minneapolis Miracle Video You'll Need
It’s been nearly three whole days since Stefon Diggs caught the ball and turned around to find nothing but open field in front of him, and I’m not ashamed to say I’m still jazzed up about it! If you’re like me, then you will enjoy this latest video compilation of the play, courtesy of the Minnesota ...
Donald Trump Is 6-Foot-3, 239 Pounds, So Basically He's Albert Pujols<em></em>
Our ovoid president took his first physical exam this morning, and you will not be surprised to learn that the natural athlete is in “excellent health.” Though his arteries may be as grease-occluded as any gout-afflicted Tudor monarch, and while he sleeps just four or five hours a night, the preside...
Atlanta Falcons Somehow Lose To Nick Foles<em></em>
In the month since losing starting quarterback and MVP candidate Carson Wentz, the Philadelphia Eagles have played a skittish backup at quarterback behind a spotty offensive line, at the exact time that their highly ranked defense began collapsing. The franchise hadn’t won a playoff game since 2009,...
Report: Panthers Could Put That New Stadium On Some Guy's Farm, Sure, Why Not
Carolina Panthers owner Jerry Richardson, who was recently accused of sexual harassment and getting racist with team employees, will soon sell his stake in the team. It’s not clear who will buy the team yet, though the end of the Panthers’ season on Sunday means that the process is now underway. Did...
Maryland Attorney General: Wisconsin's Stay In A Trump Hotel Might Violate Constitution
In July of last year, the District of Columbia and the state of Maryland together sued President Donald Trump for violating anti-corruption clauses in the Constitution. By maintaining ownership of his businesses during his presidency, the lawsuit said, states and foreign countries could gain sway ov...
May All Your Failures End Up As Serendipitously As This Soccer Coach's Attempt To Lean Against A Fence
I don’t think I’ve ever done anything on purpose with the poise and commitment that Marius Sumudica, manager of the Turkish soccer team Kayserispor, brings to playing off this accidental fall so that it looks like he intended all along to lower himself into a metal hammock. Seems comfy. ...
Help Us Figure Out What Donald Trump And Arthur Blank Are Talking About
If you happened to choose the ESPN “Cool Room” feed of last night’s national championship game—among your 19 other choices—you may have noticed the hosts dancing around discussing a conversation taking place between Donald Trump and Atlanta Falcons owner Arthur Blank. That video wasn’t aired on the ...
Kayaker Admits To Spiking Rival's Drink With Steroids
Japanese kayaker Yasuhiro Suzuki was expected to represent his country at the 2020 Olympics, but he will no longer be doing that after admitting to dosing one of his rivals, Seiji Komatsu, with anabolic steroids....
What Weird New Behavior Will Donald Trump Display At The National Championship Game?<em></em>
A year and change into his first term in office, it’s still honestly kind of hard to tell why Donald Trump ran for president. At this point, we know enough about him to assume both 1) that it had nothing to do with any of the reasons he offered on the campaign trail and 2) that it’s probably somethi...
Cowardly President Diaper Donald Reportedly Won't Do ESPN Interview At National Championship Game. Sad!
If you have been paying literally any attention to the news over the last day or the last week or really the last many years, you are well aware that Donald Trump is profoundly stupid and/or mentally ill and/or suffering from (not even early-onset, but just regular-old-onset, he’s 71 years old) deme...
What Did Katie Nolan Call Donald Trump?
Katie Nolan went on Viceland’s Desus & Mero earlier this week, offering some thoughts on her new gig at ESPN and Donald Trump. Here’s a brief clip of her discussing the latter, with the first phrase that she uses to describe the president bleeped out by the show:...
Christian Pulisic Rings In The New Year With A Powerful And Absolutely Legit Slam Dunk
Christian Pulisic—the wonderteen, the nation’s best and most favored soccer man, an elite athlete blessed with speed and agility and hops we don’t normally associate with slight, diminutive whiteboys—had himself a (mostly) great 2017. To commemorate his metaphorical ascent to the heights of the spor...
Vince McMahon Has Been Working Towards A GOP-Oriented Product For Years
While a pro-Trump political slant for the soon to be relaunched XFL is nowhere close to official yet, history tells us that Vince McMahon making a move in that direction would not exactly be very surprising. The WWE chief’s products have blatantly pushed right wing politics for years, and while ever...
What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?
If it’s Christmas, it must be time to learn what America shoved inside itself. The only worthwhile holiday tradition pushes on....
Arenas Are Important And Football Stadiums Are Not
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here. ...
Dana White Is Boasting About Signing Floyd Mayweather To A UFC Contract
Floyd Mayweather, a boxer who lies about being retired, has taken all of four months to start speculating about his next fight. He recently said that he has an offer from the UFC, and Dana White talked to ESPN’s Brett Okamoto today to continue hyping up a mixed martial arts debut for the famously br...
Classy Stephen F. Austin Team Doesn't Refuse Opposing Coach's Weird Pep Talk
Cuonzo Martin’s 10-2 Missouri Tigers escaped an upset from Stephen F. Austin in Columbia Tuesday night, 82-81. By besting SFA coach Kyle Keller, Martin apparently believed he had earned the right to take over his entire team....
Big Fucking Shock: The GOP Tax Bill Won't End Stadium Subsidies
For a while there, the Republican tax bill contained a provision that would be difficult to describe as a “silver lining,” given how comprehensively destructive the rest of the bill is, but could reasonably have been described as “not bad.” The provision was set to prevent cities from using tax-exem...