um Page 223 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
D.C. City Council Owns Self
“What have you done for us, D.C. City Council?” asked the Nationals fan. “Well,” said the City Council, “we’ve ponied up over $700 million dollars to buy a stadium for a billionaire.”...
Here's Some Donald Trump Gossip That We Desperately Want To Be True
For one of the classiest, most luxurious purported billionaires alive, Donald Trump doesn’t exactly have the most refined palate. He seems to prefer McDonald’s, taco bowls, and burnt steaks to any sort of more refined fare, which makes this absolutely phenomenal rumor all the more believable. ...
I Still Can't Believe Madison Bumgarner Is Real
I’m largely fine with MLB’s play-in game, but there remains something almost cosmically unfair about having to win a one-game series when the opposing team can start Madison Bumgarner. ...
Madison Bumgarner Remains A Postseason Demigod
The San Francisco Giants are headed to the NLDS once again, after Madison Bumgarner shut down the Mets and the offense managed a lone moment of competence tonight to get the team a 3-0 win. The Even Year Gods have smiled down on the Giants once again, and they’re headed to Chicago just a few short w...
Here’s A Weird Fucking Story About Donald Trump And Mike Tyson
Back in 2005, New York Times reporter Tim O’Brien wrote in his book, TrumpNation, that Donald Trump was not a billionaire but worth maybe $250 million on a good day. This is perhaps the number one thing you are not allowed to say about Donald Trump. So despite having “cooperated extensively” with O’...
Many People Are Saying That Donald Trump Is Mad About Mike Pence’s Good Reviews<em></em><em></em>
After Donald Trump’s disaster of a debate performance last week, you’d think he’d be happy to get any sort of positive press at all. But according to multiple people citing sources close to the campaign—Donald Trump is furious at being outperformed by Mike Pence....
Joe Biden Annihilates Trump For Saying Soldiers With PTSD Aren't "Strong"<em></em>
While speaking at a campaign event for Hillary Clinton in Florida this evening, Joe Biden addressed Donald Trump’s recent comments regarding veterans and mental health. Trump said that military personnel who develop mental health issues after returning from war are not “strong” and “can’t handle it....
A Complete-ish History of Donald Trump's Obsession With His Ideal Woman, His Own Daughter
Earlier today, the Associated Press published a report detailing accusations that, in the course of making The Apprentice, Donald Trump had serially demeaned, belittled, and harassed women involved in the making of the show. The anecdotes were creepy and familiar—rating “female contestants by the si...
Dead Letters: Cardinal Numbers Edition
Despite winning 86 games, the St. Louis Cardinals will not play in the MLB postseason this year. It’s the first time the club has missed the playoffs since 2010. Deadspin covered the Redbirds’ performance throughout the 2016 season in a series called “Cardinal Numbers,” and a few Cardinals fans chos...
The Cardinals Won Their 86th Game
The St. Louis Cardinals scored six runs in the seventh inning Sunday as they hammered the Pittsburgh Pirates, 10-4....
Trump Supporters Spent The Debate Tweeting At Jon Lester Because They Thought He Was Moderator Lester Holt
Jon Lester is expected to be the Cubs’ Game 1 starter when the NLDS kicks off at Wrigley on Friday against either the Mets or Giants. That’s Jon Lester. Not NBC anchor Lester Holt, who is old and who scouts say has 55 command at best, barely fourth-starter potential. Just so we’re clear....
Donald Trump Wants To Write Your Tweets<em></em>
Apparently, Donald Trump’s devout army of Russian Twitter trolls isn’t getting the job done. What with so many people checking “facts” and “thinking critically about the words coming out of Trump’s mouth,” it can be hard to stay ahead of the mainstream media’s filthy lies. But that, my friends, is w...
Tennessee Loses Touchdown After Jalen Hurd Fumbles Into End Zone
A ten-play, 78-yard Tennessee drive went for naught after Jalen Hurd dropped the ball upon being surprised by a hit at the goal line by a Georgia defender. The play preserved a 10-0 Georgia lead—now 17-0—over the inexplicably undefeated Volunteers. ...
Did Donald Trump Sleep Last Night?
Donald Trump had a busy day yesterday. With a rally in New Hampshire and two (2) television interviews, it’d be enough to knock anyone out—let alone a 70-year-old man in questionable physical condition. Donald Trump, however, is not anyone. And god knows the last time Donald Trump slept at all....
The Cardinals Lost Their 76th Game
The St. Louis Cardinals squandered a perfect chance to tie the game in the bottom of the ninth Wednesday as they lost to the Cincinnati Reds, 2-1....
Colin Kaepernick Calls Trump And Clinton "Proven Liars" Who Were "Trying To Debate Who's Less Racist"
Hillary Clinton won the presidential debate because Donald Trump is a bad man who is bad at most things. But acknowledging that the two-party system dominates American politics doesn’t mean you have to buy into moral relativism. Colin Kaepernick watched the debate and despaired at both choices....
Trump Kids Can't Seem To Figure Out Why Their Shitty Father's Campaign Is So Shitty<em></em>
Trump’s getting blasted for sexist comments, mocked for his shoddy debate skills, and losing any edge he might have had in the polls. Something is definitely wrong—Trump’s three eldest children know that much. They just can’t for the life of them seem to figure out why....
Trying To Teach Donald Trump To Debate Sounds Like Hell
According to an article in this morning’s New York Times, Donald Trump’s advisers are hoping to prepare him “more rigorously” for his next showdown with Hillary—or, more to the point, they’re going to try to prepare him. Apparently, teaching Donald Trump to debate as almost as hard as getting an ego...
The Cardinals Lost Their 75th Game
The Cincinnati Reds homered four times and logged 22 hits Monday as they completely embarrassed the St. Louis Cardinals, 15-2....