uri Page 157 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Brewers Pitcher Fiddles With Scissors, Loses
"Narveson was fiddling with his glove with a pair of scissors when the scissors somehow slipped and sliced his left thumb. That would be the thumb on his pitching hand. Eight stitches were needed to close the wound, Brewers manager Ron Roenicke said." [Sporting News]...

D.A.R.E. Cop Busted For DUI, Blames His Dog
Here's to you, Officer John Newcomb of Seymour, Ind. You knew you it'd be difficult talking your way out of (allegedly) sideswiping a parked car and hitting a tree with the department's Drug Abuse Resistance Education trailer hitched to your pickup. So, you told police you were "distracted by [your...

In Which Sport Can You Win Despite This Grotesquely Swollen Ankle?
None. But you can win in NASCAR, as Brad Keselowski proved yesterday at Pocono, taking the checkered flag with a broken left ankle that looked like someone stuck a softball under the skin. (On race day, it looked more like this.)...

Minor League Baseball Rain-Delay Dancing Fool Proves Tommy John Surgery Defeats Zombies
Tipster Andrew B. points out that Casey Mulligan, mere mortal of rain-delay Thriller 2009 performance fame, recently decided "to hang up the cleats at age 23 after deciding not to undergo Tommy John surgery. He was living the dream as a catcher turned pitcher with an actual shot to make it to the ...

These Deadbeat Parents Fell For The Old "Free Tickets To The Iron Bowl" Trick
The Lee County Sheriff's Office in Opelika, Ala. took a creative approach to rounding up a few parents who'd fallen way behind in their child support payments: they told them they'd won free tickets to the annual Iron Bowl, and then they arrested them when they came to collect on the prize. It's l...

Former World Champion Long-Distance Runner Accused Of Roughing Her Estranged Husband Up
According to the Daily Mail, former world 10,000m champion Liz McColgan appeared in court today to face charges of "punching [her] husband and throwing his clothes out the window." She denies the accusations....

If Albert DeSalvo Wasn't The Boston Strangler, Who Was? Bill James Investigates
During the years 1962-64, 13 women in the Boston area were molested and then strangled by an assailant who came to be known as the Boston Strangler. In 1965, Albert DeSalvo, a convicted sex offender and patient at a local mental institute, began telling people he committed the murders. With the help...

Braylon Edwards May Have Started The Nightclub Brawl He Allegedly Wasn't Involved In
We told you yesterday about free agent wide receiver Braylon Edwards' most recent legal trouble—according to My Fox Detroit, Edwards was on the periphery of a brawl that broke out at a nightclub in Birmingham, Michigan....

Samaki Walker Got Pulled Over With Weed And Steroids, So He Tried To Eat The Weed
The Mavs took Samaki Walker ninth overall in 1996, between Kerry Kittles and Erick Dampier, four picks before Kobe Bryant, and six before Steve Nash. Walker hasn't seen any NBA game action since December 2005, so you don't need Jay Bilas to point out that he's a bust. He's played in Russia, Syria, C...

Wachovia Chasing Stephon Marbury For $16 Million Loan Starbury, Inc. Hasn't Paid Back
Tipster Kevin alerts us to an ongoing case in Montgomery County, Ohio, in which an affiliate of Wachovia/Wells Fargo is suing a familiar name—defendant Stephon X. Marbury....

A Wrestler Called "Hannibal" Thinks A Wrestler Called "Butcher" Gave Him Hep C
In this story, an "Ottawa-based professional wrestler filed a multimillion dollar lawsuit against WWE hall of famer Abdullah the Butcher, claiming the wrestling legend gave him Hepatitis C during a 2007 match, forcing him to end his wrestling career prematurely."...

This Is How Gruesome It Looks When A Sword Gets Embedded In Someone's Head (NSFW)
Zhang Bin is a 15-year-old boy from China. Zhang Bin can also now tell people what it feels like to have a sword embedded in your forehead and get the hospital runaround before undergoing successful surgery....

If You're Going To Break Your Nose, You Might As Well Break It Like This
This is Ryan McGillivray, a mixed martial artist who was on the last season of The Ultimate Fighter. To be more precise, this is Ryan McGillivray after taking a knee to his face in training. His new nose looks to be an inch off-kilter. The picture has been making the rounds on MMA blogs after McGill...

Stephen Drew's Ankle Did A Thing Human Ankles Shouldn't Do
Oof. That ankle's at the wrong o'clock. But perhaps even worse is when he snaps it back into place. (If you're squeamish, you may not want to watch the super slo-mo at 0:51, right after the announcer "hopes it's not a possible break.") It is, and Drew's obviously done for the season....

On Patrick Kane's Injury
The Blackhawks announced that Kane will undergo surgery to repair a fractured wrist. We were inundated with requests to investigate, because PK is a favorite around these parts....

Reno Mahe, Who Once Returned Kicks, Now Allegedly Takes Gasoline
Reno Mahe spent five years in the NFL, all with the Philadelphia Eagles, for whom he was mainly a return man. Now, authorities in Salt Lake City say he took nearly $2,700 in gasoline by using a friend's corporate account. The 31-year-old spent a little time in jail Thursday after being charged with ...

Oh Dear God, This Lady's Limb Gets Snapped When She Arm Wrestles A Younger Gal On A Picnic Table
There's talk of placing bets on this Over the Top re-enactment between two ladies. There's also talk of not putting this on YouTube. Then, there's talk of a snapped arm, not too far from a flask and what looks like blue Jello....

Mine That Bird's Trainer Pisses Like A Racehorse Near Iowa-Area Slot Machine
"I don't know what I was thinking," said [Chip] Woolley, a 47-year-old who rose from obscurity in New Mexico to saddle Mine That Bird to a 50-1 upset of the 2009 Kentucky Derby. "I messed up. I know I did, and it's something that will never happen again. It's a regrettable situation. I went and met ...

Here Are Four Ample NSFW Reasons To Root For Peru To Win Copa América
Meet Irina and Daysy. They very much would like to see Peru win the Copa America. So much so, in fact, that they intend to go sans ropas if Peru prevails. Making that proposition all the more enjoyable is how Google Translate, well, translates stories about the aforementioned potential nudity. To ...

Spero Dedes, New Knicks Announcer, Busted For DUI In Hamptons
Not so long ago, Spero Dedes replaced Gus Johnson as the Knicks' radio announcer. Sure, there's no basketball yet, but Dedes already has followed in the law-breaking footsteps of another Knick announcing legend....