us Page 1036 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Al Davis's New Best Friend: JaMarcus Russell
The Oakland Raiders, with the 1st overall selection, take JaMarcus Russell, QB, LSU. Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders tells you all about it....

The NBA Is So Damned Cool Sometimes
You know what the NBA Finals needs more of? Douchebags!...

As The Old Joke Goes, She's Out With A Womb
Considering we don't, you know, pay all the collegiate athletes who bring in so much money for their universities, an athletic scholarship is the holy grail, the precious, the one benefit to spending so much time training and sweating. So one can't lose it, lest the whole matter go to waste....

You Know This Isn't Real, Because No One Gets This Excited In Utah
This is a famous video of a rather disturbed German child having difficulty playing an online game — it makes us want to duck under our desk — but one inventive Jazz fan has imagined the German phrases he's spewing are actually rants about the Jazz-Rockets game from the other night....

Seriously, Arkansas Fans Are Insane
We're not sure the true historic nature of what's going on at the University of Arkansas is being adequately appreciated. Basically, a bunch of ticked-off message board fans are doing everything they can to take down the athletic department of their university ... and they're doing a damned good job...

You Just Know Matt Millen's Gonna Pick This Guy
NFL teams preparing for Saturday's NFL Draft have a lot to figure out an individual player. They need to understand his attitude, they have to make sure he's not gonna get arrested a week after they draft him, they make certain he will fit into the team mindset they have patterned for their franchis...

The Orioles Get Their Mike Cooper And Carl Monday On
So the Orioles — yes, the Orioles — are off to a blistering start in the American League East, and the explanation can not be found in Leo Mazzone or Erik Bedard. It's in the mustache!...

Jerry Sloan Is Making His Players Cry
The Utah Jazz — our official Western Conference adopted team for the NBA Playoffs, and not just because of Deron Williams and Dee Brown — are in some serious trouble after their loss to the Rockets last night. Utah is down 2-0 in the series — as is Orlando after last night, but no one suspected that...

Free Darko Playoff Pants Party: Jazz Vs. Rockets
With Wednesday night's wrapup of the regular season, the playoff matchups are set. There are eight conference quarterfinal contests, and the whole shebang kicks off this tomorrow....

Pacman, Mario Both Deeply Apologize, Sort Of
It's a morning of apologies around the world of the NFL. First off, our main man Pac Man Jones took out a full page ad in The Tennessean saying, you know, sorry about that whole suspension thing....

Lawrence Phillips Goes For Rare Triple Crown
An old George Carlin comedy routine had a good time mocking California's "Three Strikes And You're Out" policy of jailing three-time felons for life; Carlin pointed out that the writing of laws for the incarceration of our citizens should perhaps not be based in cute and funny baseball terms. But as...

Yeah, This'll Get You Punched, Every Time
Say what you will about Australian Rules Football — and we know you have much to say! — but you can't say they don't know how to appropriately trash talk....

Mario Williams: Fast, Not That Furious
Last night, The Fanhouse posted a video that appeared to show Texans defensive tackle Mario Williams racing his lamborghini down a highway extremely fast. It didn't take long for whoever posted the video to subsequently take it down, but 850 The Buzz grabbed some video stills and provided a rundown ...

Bill Hall Is Smarter Than The Average Centerfielder
Back when we lived in St. Louis, we made the mistake of parking our car before a Rams game in the rooftop garage for the Gateway Arch, which is technically federal property. This was not necessarily a problem until we popped open a beer for a tiny, sad little tailgate. Within a matter of seconds, th...

His Mama Named Him Ruslan, I'mma Call Him Ruslan
I don't know if this is as big a deal as crowning a new IBF, WBC, or WBO champion, but there's a brand new WBA world heavyweight champion. Ruslan Chagaev defeated Nikolay Valuev in Stuttgart, Germany yesterday to claim the title and earn immediate recognition and respect among dozens of sports fans....

USC Will Be The Most Popular Basketball Team Among Nickelodeon Viewers
High school basketball phenom O.J. Mayo is most likely going to USC for one year and then bouncing to the NBA, and everyone thinks it's because that's what O.J. Mayo wants to do. Not so. Mayo's leaving after one year because he's afraid to suffer the indignity of losing his starting job to the artis...

Razorbacks Fans Are Terrifying
So you know the crazed Razorbacks message board fan who went through the impressive measure of FOIAing coach Houston Nutt's cellphone records, discovering that he had been text-messaging a local female reporter? Well, his quest to rid Arkansas of Nutt is not over; as you can see in this video, he's ...

The Dysfunctional Family Circus Lives
To wash the taste of The Ladies takeover of Kissing Suzy Kolber yesterday out of their proverbial gullets, the gang at KSK brought one of our favorite (if derivative) gimmicks out of mothballs today: the Family Circus NFL riffs...

Wild Times In Fayetteville
So you know last week, when all that information about Arkansas coach Houston Nutt came out thanks to a resourceful fan? Well, even though national media has been strangely loathe to report on it — "Only WE can file federal FOIAs!" — the news has apparently made it back to the Nutt home, because Dia...

More Fun On The Imus Apology Tour
Of all the reaction to Don Imus' unfortunate verbal stylings recently, our favorite so far has to be from Cal professor Harry Edwards, who said "He touched every hot rail." Indeed, Imus scored that rare insult trifecta that you rarely hear on talk radio, as he degraded women, blacks and people with ...