us Page 1053 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
You Will Not Be Represented By Kobe Bryant This Summer
Reports (from no less than the awesome "ESPN.com news services") are surfacing that Kobe Bryant had arthroscopic surgery on his right knee this summer, and thus, won't be suiting up for Team USA's training camp, or pre-World Championship tour. The surgery itself is described as minor, but it is go...
Mike Cooper Avoids Jail Time; Prison Showers
The sentence has come down, once again, courtesy of our man Jimbo. Mike Cooper, he of library-masturbating fame, was found guilty, and was fined $150 plus court costs. That's it. Bail was $500,000, and the fine is $150. All is well that ends well, I suppose. Who among us hasn't paid $150 for an or...
The Mike Cooper Sentencing ... You Are There!
Well, the Mike Cooper sentencing is over, and our man Jimbo was, indeed, there. We're still not sure precisely what Cooper's sentence was — Jimbo didn't make it that far into the proceedings — but he was there, and he even captured Cooper and his parents on his camera phone ... kind of....
Cultural Oddsmaker: Death Becomes Them
A.J. Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Send him all kinds of fan mail....
Reds Fans Not Handling Kearns Trade Well
The first big trade of the baseball season went down yesterday, and, to just from the popular reaction, you'd think the Washington Nationals were in wild-card contention and the Cincinnati Reds were selling off. The Reds traded Austin Kearns and Felipe Lopez, two of their best young hitters, for a...
Rick Reilly's Wide-Eyed Reaction Shots
Back in April, we told you about "The Beer Belly," a contraption that allowed you to sneak beer into stadiums through a fake beer gut. You would then drink there beer through a tube, or something like that....
All Hail The Glorious People's Italian Football Collective!
Reverberations from Italy's 1-0 World Cup win over Australia on Monday continue. The Italians won on a disputed penalty kick in the final seconds of stoppage time, and it's caused a whole fuss. Australian assistant coach Graham Arnold told the Australia Daily Telegraph that "FIFA didn't want us here...
Hirshey: B'Day, Mate
David Hirshey will write regularly during the World Cup....
Live Blog: Italy Vs. Australia
As we continue along the Round of 16 — these games really are quite more exciting when they loser goes home — we start off your weekday live blogging with a team representing a country that was founded by the exiled convicts of another country ... and, much worse, a team that tied the United State...
The Closer: More Fun In The Windy City
Notes from a day in baseball:...
Non-Retired Guy Comes Out Of Non-Retirement To Non-Retire
Our long national nightmare is over: Roger Clemens is back. How did we ever make it so long without him? His "return," obviously, would have a little more resonance if he had, you know, ever left, but whatever. He's back. Playing the Twins. We hope Bat Girl comes up with a Lego version of him....
Live Blog: Australia Vs. Croatia
This game is deceptively underbilled; it's pretty huge, actually. If Australia earns a tie or a win, the Socceroos will advance to the next round; a win for Croatia does the same for them, barring something crazy from Japan against Brazil. It's rare that this round of games end up with two teams pla...
Phil Mickelson Resumes Being Phil Mickelson
After a couple of major wins, Phil Mickelson let go of a stranglehold he had on the U.S. Open and collapsed on the 18th hole today at Winged Foot. Lefty's train wreck handed the victory to Australian Geoff Ogilvy, a guy who's not real well-known outside of the small group of habitual Golf Channel vi...
Checking In At The World Cup...
Brazil 2-0 Australia. It might just be me, but does Brazil seem a little but underwhelming thus far? They seemed lethargic in their 1-0 win over Croatia, and all anyone could talk about afterwards was Ronaldo's apparent tubbiness, and Australia really gave them all they wanted today. They do not l...
Live From Kaiserslautern
I've got a couple of live reports from fans who were in Kaiserslautern for the USA/Italy World Cup match yesterday. First, at The Third Leaf, is this photo essay-ish look at the atmosphere surrounding the game. To say that it looks like a hell of a lot of fun would be an understatement....
Mickelson and Some Guy Tied For U.S. Open Lead
I suppose we should talk about something other than soccer at some point here today. How about golf? Alright, golf it is. To be honest, and I know it's terribly unfair to the other golfers involved, but without Tiger Woods present... I can't get all that excited about it (although, to tell the tru...
I Suspect Mafia Involvement
Okay, not really. But given the credibility of top Italian football officials at the moment, I think it's fair to let the mind wonder. The ref in the United States/Italy game was handing out red cards like they were commemorative souvenirs....
Jerry Stackhouse And Common Sense Have Been Suspended
Jerry Stackhouse was found to be in violation of the NBA's strict "Do Not Touch Shaquille O'Neal" policy yesterday, as the league announced that it was suspending him for Game 5 of the NBA Finals. Stackhouse committed a hard foul on Shaq as the big man was driving for a lay-up. Have a look:...
Chris Berman Pillages Mamaroneck
So The US Open has been on ESPN all day, and that famous golf announcer Chris Berman is at the mic as anchor and occasional lead commentator....
Live Blog: Japan-Australia
All right, if you enjoyed yourself a solid weekend of World Cup action — yeah! we sound like a Coke commercial! — but you're stuck back at work, not quite woken up yet, sad you're not at a pub somewhere ... worry not! We're here for you....