us Page 1054 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Let's Get French For A Second
Justine Henin-Hardenne beat Svetlana Kuznetsova 6-4, 6-4 this morning to win her third Freedom French Open, and her second in a row. It is the fifth Grand Slam win of her career....
Roger Clemens! Pitching! It's Like He Never Retired!
Well, it's a big night in Lexington; Roger Clemens is coming to town, to pitch with his son Koby at third base. It's the first of three minor league stints for Roger, all of which, of course, have a definitive financial incentive for Roger Clemens. (The other two games are for teams Clemens partia...
Rick Reilly And His Rimshot
Honestly, we have nothing against Sports Illustrated superstar Rick Reilly. Sure, he mails it in seemingly twice a month, his sudden conversation to an anti-steroid advocate seems to only go for people not named Bill Romanowski and we have no idea what that "Riffs Of Reilly" thing is supposed to b...
If The World Cup Devolves Into A Battle Rap, We're In Fine Shape
I'm not sure how to react to this. When an athlete makes a rap video, and it's not that embarrassing, it throws into question my entire set of beliefs and values. That just so rarely happens. And the fact that it's a soccer player, and that he's white... I'm just confused. Here's Clint "Deuce" Demps...
It Rains Because Jack Nicklaus Hates Leatherlips
It's raining at Muirfield Village this week, site of the PGA's Memorial Tournament. Yesterday's rain delay lasted over six hours, in fact, and a lot of players had to get out early this morning and finish the second round. It's rained 21 times in 31 years at The Memorial. Wow, that seems like a lo...
Joey Porter Manages Not To Kill And Eat The President
The Steelers finally made their visit to the White House yesterday, with President Bush playing host to the Super Bowl champions. Here are some quotes from his speech:...
NASCAR Shocks!
A reader sends us this picture, which he took of NASCAR veteran Rusty Wallace at The Sanctuary, a golf resort in Charleston, S.C. He didn't think much about it until he got home and noticed Wallace's shirt....
Clemens Decides To Stay In Houston, Yep
Credit Newsday's Ken Davidoff with the big scoop: Roger Clemens is signing with the Houston Astros....
I Will Joust You With My Finger, Bitch.
It's very sadly missing from the Sunday TV sports lineup, but there is a hot new sport on the horizon. It's called Finger Jousting, and it's sweeping the... okay, it's not sweeping the nation or anything else. But they do have a website. So that's step one. Here's how the sport works:...
Just Another Manic Monday
Before the week runs its course and we head into our pleasant weekend of barbecues and hangovers, we just wanted to once again salute the genius of CLEVELAND'S INVESTIGATIVE REPORTER Carl Monday, who continues to blow the lid of the cottage "jerking off in a library to get away from one's terrifyi...
The Most Brilliant Thing You'll See All Day
So a local television station in Cleveland decided to put together an "investigative report" on the dangers of allowing your children to go to the public library....
When You're Talking Sex, You're Talking Enron Field
On Sunday, the Houston Astros shutout the Texas Rangers 5-0 in Houston, securing a series win over their in-state rivals. To celebrate, a Houston policeman at the game decided to have sex with two women. Makes sense!...
This Is Why Everyone Needs To Synchronize Their Swatches
In Paris, earlier today (or yesterday, or whatever that time difference is), the IAAF — perhaps the most useless acronym in sports; it stands for International Association of Athletics Federations, which is kind like saying you have a Collection of Associated Alliances — announced that sprinter Ju...
Dolphins Not Liable For Future Damages, So You Know
We don't mean to imply that the Miami Dolphins are covering their tailfeathers a bit with Marcus "New Mexico" Vick, whom they just signed to a free agent contract, but here's what was included in the official press release about the signing....
Justin Gatlin Can Haul
By no stretch of the imagination could I be considered a fan of track and field. Sure, every four years, I'll pay it some mind, but other than that, it's a little off the radar. But when a man breaks the world record by running 100 meters in 9.76 seconds, well, that'll grab your attention. Americ...
The Ballad Of The Bored SI Staffer
We know it goes. You've worked a late night, and your editor — who told this job had all kinds of writing possibilities, that it was Sports Illustrated, before you realized the job was just writing taglines and editing Jenn Sterger's copy — is on your case to do one last photo gallery. You're bleary...
So Much For That Fresh Start!
We're actually pretty big fans of Sports Ilustrated's Tom Verducci — who never gets enough credit (or blame, depending on your perspective) for being out front of this whole steroid story from the get-go — but we feel maybe he's gotten a bit too caught up in it all. He's become such an anti-steroi...
The Closer: Fear The Awesome Hitting Might Of Mark Mulder
Notes from a day of baseball. • 1. Mulder Gets A Little Raucous During Housewarming Party. When they said that the new Busch Stadium would be a pitcher's ballpark, we didn't know they meant it this way. Cardinals starter Mark Mulder clubbed his first career home run on Monday, right over the new H...
It's A Brand New Yard In St. Louis
To put it less eloquently than Cardinals Diaspora, today our beloved St. Louis Cardinals begin officially making people like us — who wax nostalgic about the old Busch Stadium — into blathering old farts. In about five minutes, the new Busch Stadium hosts its first game, with the Cardinals playing t...
Matt Leinart Wasting Opportunities Already
ESPN.com has gotten Matt Leinart to document his draft process with a "Draft Diary," detailing his experiences in the days leading up to the NFL Draft....