us Page 667 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Reports: Justice Department Brings The Goddamn Hammer Down On FIFA
According to reports in both the Wall Street Journal ($) and New York Times, a number of FIFA officials were just arrested in Zurich, Switzerland, and according to the Times are expected to be extradited to the United States where they will face charges of “wire fraud, racketeering and money launder...
Those Who Cannot Be Taylor Swift, Talk Trash About Taylor Swift
Dan Bejar is the sort of fussy, opaque, perpetually dissatisfied art-rocker type who’d delight in the fact that it’ll probably take me two paragraphs to explain him to you to anyone’s satisfaction. He hails from Vancouver and looks like the insouciant, chain-smoking, Sartre-quoting philosopher geniu...
Colin Kaepernick Unwisely Compares Self To Houston Floods
Colin Kaepernick’s hashtag of choice is #7tormsComing, which is a horrible sentence to write. The 49ers QB decided to use it again today with the Houston flash floods as a news peg, along with a photo of some local devastation. The message wasn’t only insensitive to the alphabet....
Dwight Howard Hung Out With Stranded Rockets Fans
Historic flooding struck the Houston area last night, with many roads becoming impassable and downright dangerous. As the Rockets closed out their Game 4 win around 11 p.m. local time, Toyota Center officials urged fans to remain in the arena for their own safety....
Tony Kornheiser Defends Josh Duggar, Says Maybe He Should Keep His Job
ESPN personality Tony Kornheiser defended admitted child molester Josh Duggar on his radio show, questioning whether the reality star and former executive director of the powerful Family Research Council should be “driven from his job” for sexually abusing at least five children while he was a teena...
FIFA Slaves Banned From Attending Relatives' Funerals
The 2022 Qatar World Cup will be brought to you by Coca-Cola on the backs of slave workers, many of whom hail from Nepal. These workers live in filth and work in terrifyingly dangerous conditions; their efforts to build the McDonald’s-funded event will result in one dead worker for every 90 seconds ...
These Rockets Fans Are The Worst Tic-Tac-Toe Players Ever
Children generally learn the optimal tic-tac-toe strategy by the time they’re 10 years old, but don’t tell these Houston Rockets fans that. Selected to take part in a promotion before the fourth quarter of last night’s win over the Warriors, these two knuckleheads struggled equally with the tic-tac-...
First Quarter Offensive Explosion Propels Rockets Past Warriors
As well as the Warriors played in Game 3, the Rockets played even better in the first quarter of Game 4. Besides James Harden, the Rockets starters are all inconsistent offensive performers. But in the first quarter the Rockets went 17-21, 8-9 from three. James Harden scored “only” 10 of the Rockets...
This Woman Has <i>Had It</i> With Towel Guy
“Enough with the towel, towel guy.”...
James Harden Hits 80-Foot Shot After The Buzzer
So what if it didn’t count? This is impressive as hell....
Sloane Stephens Upsets Venus Williams In First Round Of French Open
40th-ranked Sloane Stephens upset 15-seed Venus Williams 7-6, 6-1 in their first round match at the French Open on Monday. ...
Brian Matusz Receives 8-Game Suspension For "Foreign Substance"
Orioles pitcher Brian Matusz will be suspended eight games after pitching with a “foreign substance” on his arm during Baltimore’s game against the Marlins on Saturday. The MLB announced the suspension Monday, and Matusz is expected to appeal. ...
My God, The Warriors Are A Sight To Behold
How do you stop this? We could focus on everything the Rockets did wrong—James Harden shooting 3 for 16, Corey Brewer attempting multiple times to take the game over—but that wouldn’t be fair. That would deny the role the Warriors played in forcing those wrong things to happen. Without an ounce of h...
Lady Rockets Fan Would Prefer Her Husband Stop Taunting Stephen Curry
This geezer thinks he can boo Stephen Curry on a night the NBA MVP has led his team to a 27-point (and counting) lead over his Houston Rockets. This geezer’s wife wishes he would shut the hell up. ...
Brian Matusz Second Pitcher This Week Ejected For "Foreign Substance"
Brian Matusz became the second pitcher this week to be ejected after a strategic challenge by an opposing manager after the Marlins accused the Orioles hurler of possessing a “foreign substance.”...
Hey, The Astros Pulled Off A Triple Play!
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Britos Bloodies Morata With Vicious Headbutt
Today’s Serie A match between Juventus and Napoli ended with a red card for Miguel Britos after the Uruguayan delivered his skull straight to Álvaro Morata’s nose. Morata ended up with a bloody face, but the 3-1 win after the referee awarded a penalty for the incident....
Ridiculously Huge Boxer Wins By First Round Knockout, Still Undefeated
Taishan Dong remained undefeated with a first-round knockout of Lance Gauch tonight in California. We’ve highlighted the enormous Dong before, but if you haven’t seen what kind of damage the seven-foot-tall Chinese boxer can unleash, here you go. Dong’s professional record is now 5-0....
Report: Buffalo, Washington, And Houston Are Potential <i>Hard Knocks</i> Teams
Thanks to new rules instituted after HBO and the NFL had difficulty finding a team to appear on Hard Knocks, the league can now force teams to take part if they meet certain criteria. Nine teams fit the bill: The Browns, Redskins, Giants, Buccaneers, Vikings, Texans, Rams, Titans, and Jaguars. Most ...