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<i>Tomorrowland </i>Is Hopeful, Uplifting, And Absolutely Intolerable
1. Tomorrowland is a movie about optimism and hope and brightness and good cheer, which probably explains why it put me in such a foul mood. It’s like that television evangelist who’s so smiley and squeaky-clean that you just know he’s up to something weird when no one’s looking. This movie spends m...

Warriors Beat Rockets As James Harden Can't Get Final Shot Off
James Harden was brilliant all game, putting up a ridiculous 38/10/9 line without a ton of help from his non-Dwight Howard teammates. But on the final play of the game, down 99-98 with seven seconds to attack a scrambling Warriors defense, Harden inexplicably passed the ball to Howard, and when he g...

A Civilian's Guide To The U.S. Military
We Americans love a lot of things about ourselves, and perhaps nothing more so than our military. Like many things about the U.S., it’s bigger than its international equivalents, with a budget that is larger than the next eight largest military budgets in the world combined. It has a footprint in al...

Dana White Can't Stop Lying About UFC Fighters Being Domestic Abusers
When Dana White isn’t busy calling female reporters “fucking dumb bitches” or those reporters’ sources “fucking faggots,” the UFC president spends his time whitewashing his fighters’ domestic violence histories. There’s Thiago Silva, arrested on charges he put a gun in his wife’s mouth, threatened t...

Oh Hell Yeah, This Song From Jamie XX, Young Thug, And Popcaan Rules
Alert, alert! This is a Good Vibes Alert from the Good Vibes Alert Network: Put this song, “I Know (There’s Gonna Be Good Times),” a collaboration from Jamie XX, Young Thug, and Popcaan on the nearest loudspeaker immediately. Turn the volume all the way up. Wave your arms, even if it’s in a weird wa...

There's A Mushroom Growing In My Tub!
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She’ll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....

Whose Disgusting Baseball Chin Is This?
Welcome back to Whose Disgusting Baseball Chin Is This? a regular feature in which we ask readers to identify a baseball player based on a closely cropped image of his disgusting chin. So, whose chin is this? Use the image slider below to find out....

Why Was Justin Gatlin "Kicked Out" Of Beijing?
American sprinter Justin Gatlin claims he was told “you better leave” Beijing by organizers of the Beijing World Challenge track meet on Monday night, ahead of today’s event. The 100-meter man, who’d just dashed to a personal best at the advanced fast-twitch age of 33, and clocked the world’s ninth ...

So, Did James Harden Win You Over?
If any James Harden fans are still looking for a way to convince James Harden haters that the Rockets’ shooting guard and MVP runner-up is in fact a legitimate superstar and not the NBA equivalent of a Mortal Kombat spammer, they need look no further than last night’s Game 1 against the Warriors....

Blackhawks Top Ducks 3-2 In Triple OT
It isn’t the prettiest goal you’ll ever see—and it’s no head goal—but it did the trick just fine. Blackhawks forward Marcus Krüger punched the puck past Frederik Andersen 16 minutes and 12 seconds into the game’s third overtime; the longest game in the Chicago Blackhawks’s 89-year history. (It was o...

How To Watch James Harden, The Loathsome Genius
Hi, casual basketball fan! As you’re likely aware, the NBA’s conference finals begin tonight. In the Eastern Conference, the Atlanta Hawks will take on the Cleveland Cavaliers. In the West, the Golden State Warriors will face the Houston Rockets—and their star guard, James Harden....

Astros Pitcher Is Wearing Batman Cleats For His MLB Debut
Lance McCullers is on the mound making his major league debut tonight for the Astros, and he’s doing it in an especially odd choice of footwear: Batman cleats. We’re not sure if this will incur a fine from MLB, but we hope the 2012 first-rounder kept some of his $2.5m signing bonus just to be sure....


Russia Will Be Punished For Skipping Canadian National Anthem
Russia got smoked by Canada, 6-1, in yesterday’s final of the IIHF World Championship, the most prestigious annual tournament in hockey. (The U.S. took the bronze). The Russian players stuck around for the medal ceremony, but left the ice before Canada’s national anthem was played:...

Doc Rivers Can't Be Serious
Here’s something crazy that Clippers coach and GM Doc Rivers said after his team finished choking away a 3-1 series lead to the Rockets last night (via USA Today):...

Occupy Softball
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Audiovisual Medium Airs Kanye Performance You Couldn't Hear Or See
Today in dumb things on TV: Kanye West’s Billboard Music Awards performance, in which the pyrotechnics rendered nothing visible and censorship rendered nothing audible....

Rockets Blow Out Clippers, Win Series After Going Down 3-1
Clippers-Rockets will go down as one of the stranger seven-game series in recent history....

Carlos Gómez Leaves Game After Being Hit In Head By 97-mph Fastball
A Noah Syndergaard fastball struck Carlos Gómez in the temple, forcing the Brewers outfielder out of today’s game against the Mets in the sixth inning. Gómez spent several minutes on the ground before returning to the dugout, but we’ve received no word as to his condition....

Australian Soccer Chief Falls Off Podium At Trophy Ceremony
Melbourne Victory beat Sydney FC 3-0 last night to take Australia’s top soccer trophy, but all most Aussies will remember about the evening is 84-year-old FFA chairman Frank Lowy falling off the stage while trying to present the champions with their award....