us Page 693 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Mischievous Lil' Pandas Refuse To Take Their Medicine
This is what happened when a zoo keeper in China—who has some pretty dope boots, by the way—tried to feed some medicine to two of the young pandas being held in the zoo. Dude's plan was to squirt the medicine into their mouths with a syringe; the pandas' plan was to fight this jabroni and get him th...

Little Kid At Giants Parade Yells "Fuck Her Right In The Pussy" On Air
The practice of yelling "fuck her right in the pussy" at inappropriate moments should no longer be a thing, but this instance is notable because of how young the perpetrator is. The kid jumps in there with the quickness, does his damage, and dashes off, leaving the poor reporter to try and salvage...

Get On The Jake Gyllenhaal Bandwagon Now: <em>Nightcrawler</em>, Reviewed
1. Why don't we talk about Jake Gyllenhaal more? This is an actor who...

Russell Westbrook Will Be Out A While
Already without Kevin Durant for an extended time, the Thunder are going to have to survive without Russell Westbrook, who is expected to miss at least a month after fracturing a bone in his hand last night....

Russell Westbrook And Fan Scream At Each Other
Russell Westbrook exited the game at the Staples Center Thursday night after he fractured his hand on Kendrick Perkins's elbow while fighting for a rebound. But while walking back to the locker room to get it examined, the TNT cameras picked up Westbrook getting into a heated exchange with a fan. ...

Taylor Swift's <i>1989</i> Proves That "Pop" Doesn't Mean Anything Anymore
These are trying times to find oneself still riding for Taylor Swift, the Artist. As a celebrity, as a mostly willing punchline, as a cultural nemesis, as a content generator, she's never been bigger or better—this week alone, she's made cat noises, continued stalking her own fans on social media,...

Kobe To Dwight Howard: "Soft Motherfucker, Bitch-Ass Nigga"
It was plainly clear that Kobe Bryant called Dwight Howard "soft" while shit-talking his former teammate on opening night, but now, thanks to an intrepid Instagram user who was sitting courtside at the game, we know that Kobe also called Dwight a "bitch-ass nigga."...

The SEC Really Does Benefit From Media Bias In Polls
This past week, four of the top five teams in the Associated Press College Football Poll hailed from the SEC West Division. Nebraska coach Bo Pelini, among others, wondered aloud whether ESPN's ownership of the brand-new SEC network, which launched this year, might be responsible for such a coinci...

Lakers Rookie Julius Randle Breaks Leg In First NBA Game
In a 90-108 loss to the Houston Rockets in their season opener, the Los Angeles Lakers looked about as underwhelming and stagnant as everyone feared they would be. What's already shaping up to be a rough season in L.A. got even worse when rookie forward Julius Randle, the seventh overall pick in thi...

Kobe And Dwight Howard Talk Shit To Each Other, Get Double Technicals
Dwight Howard left the Lakers a season ago, but because of Kobe Bryant's achilles injury, the two haven't played against each other since their ill-fated partnership blew up in everybody's face. If you thought things between the two were all good, well, you don't know Kobe Bryant very well....

Premier League Referee Suspended For Attending Ed Sheeran Concert
Some things are worth being suspended from your job for a week, and for English Premier League referee Mark Clattenburg, those things include attending an Ed Sheeran concert....

Where Does Aaron Lewis's Rank Among The Worst National Anthems Ever?
Aaron Lewis, lead singer of Staind, butchered "The Star-Spangled Banner" ahead of last night's World Series game. He has since apologized, but he needn't; his rendition immediately goes down in history as one of the most memorable. ...

Update on our database of police-involved shootings: It's still happening. We have more than a thousand entries from 2011-2013; those still need to be factchecked. If you'd like to help with that end of the process, email [email protected]. ...

Russell Wilson Blows Off Claims That He's "Not Black Enough"
With the Seahawks splitting with their most explosive players, and amid talk of locker-room strife, you could make that argument that this week was the first time the aggressively boring and uncontroversial Russell Wilson has had to face public adversity. You could, but Pete Carroll would tell you t...

J.J. Watt Has No Patience For The Foolishness Of Lesser Humans
When it was announced that Titans rookie quarterback Zach Mettenberger would be starting today's game against the Texans, Mettenberger responded by taking a few celebratory selfies. This did not sit well with Texans All-Pro defensive end J.J. Watt, because J.J. Watt is a monster who exists solel...
![Lamarr Houston Injures Self Celebrating Sack While Getting Blown Out [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Lamarr Houston Injures Self Celebrating Sack While Getting Blown Out [Update]
Bears defensive end Lamarr Houston joined Stephen Tulloch on the list of idiots who injured themselves celebrating a sack this season. It's made worse by the fact Chicago is down 25 points to the Patriots, and that Houston's sack came against New England's rookie backup quarterback....

Marcus Vick Has Some First-Half Analysis Of His Brother
Marcus Vick was critical after the QB replaced Geno Smith in the first half, but he's still optimistic....

Minor League Hockey Player Suffers Gruesome Cut From Skate
Saturday night's game between the Peoria Rivermen and the Huntsville Havoc of the Southern Professional Hockey League had to be suspended after a player suffered a horrific injury....

Grizzly Bear Steals One Of Those Cameras You Strap To Your Head
Some guy put one of those dumb cameras that people are always strapping to their heads on a bridge in an effort to scope out some bears. Some bears did indeed get scoped, but one of them got the last laugh when he snatched the little camera and took off with it....

Darren Rovell Is A Damned Snitch
Here's ESPN's Darren Rovell's take on the adorable, potentially post-coital selfie of Notre Dame receiver Justin Brent with famed adult actress Lisa Ann:...