van Page 127 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jim Schwartz Pursues Free Agents Like A Deranged Ex-Boyfriend
How do you convince talented and (mostly) sane players to move to Detroit and play for the Lions? If you're Jim Schwartz you sit outside their house in the middle of the night and leave heaving breathing on their voicemail....
Canadians Also Win Gold For Synchronized Peeing
The City of Edmonton charted water consumption during the hockey gold medal game and found that the whole damn town apparently saved its "business" for the intermissions. [Pat's Papers]...
Monster Dutch Reliever Hopes To Terrorize Twin Cities
The Twins have high hopes for Loek van Mil, a 7-foot-1 prospect from the Netherlands. Because betting on the freakishly tall foreigner has always worked out in other sports. [Pioneer Press]...
Sportswriter Gil LeBreton Compares Vancouver 2010 To Berlin 1936
The Vancouver Olympics were an impressive display of Canadian pride and ambition, culminating in the most dominating hometown performance in the history of the Winter Games. You know who else liked dominating the Olympics, don't you? HITLER!...
Erin Andrews Becomes A Star Who Someone Will Dance With
"Dancing With The Stars" announced that its lineup for next season will include America's Sideline Princess, because apparently all you have to do is ask and they'll let you on. It's a pretty good system ABC's got going on there....
Russians Also Not Shy About Winning, Threatening Olympic Bureaucrats
Russia is taking a page out of the Canadian playbook by making it clear that they intend to dominate Sochi in 2014. They're also taking a page out of the Soviet playbook by issuing ominous warnings to their own people....
The Olympics Were Basically A Two-Week Freudian Therapy Session
NBC's final tally, via Slate's Sap-o-Meter: 107 combined mentions of "father" and "dad," 103 of "mother" and "mom," and 64 mentions of "dream" (the single sappiest word of these Games). How does that make you feel? [Slate]...
Canada Wins The Olympics
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Canadians, who became the most successful Olympic hosts ever by not acting like a bunch of Canadians. Nice countries finish last, you know....
Stories That Don't Suck: T.K. On Rick Barry, Do You Believe In Headshrinking?, Norm, Taibbi Goes Gonzo
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....
Boink Like A Champion Today: Condom Shortage In Vancouver
Vancouver's Olympic Village is short on condoms and an emergency supply has been shipped to the sex-crazed colony to ensure that each and every athlete is safe from STDs throughout the rest of their stay....
"The 40 Most Sexual Photos Of The Olympics," Claims Blog
Yes, I would agree that there are some very Kama Sutra-inspired photos contained in this gallery. I believe this is one the kids call "The Egyptian Magic Wheelbarrow," if I'm not mistaken....
ESPN's Scott Van Pelt Explains Why He F-Bombed
ESPN SportsCenter anchor Scott Van Pelt has unfortunately been YouTube kindling twice this week, but has handled both incidents remarkably well. He explains last night's open mic screw-up in an email to Deadspin....
OK, Seriously, Time To Shut The Hell Up About Fighting And Olympic Hockey
The Olympic hockey games have been uniformly thrilling, to purists and casual fans alike. But there are murmurs, surely music to Gary Bettman's ears, that the lack of fighting is what's making the games so great....
Last Night's Winner: Scott Hamilton's Tear Ducts
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Hamilton and everyone else who had themselves another happy cry last night over Joannie Rochette, winner of a bronze medal that looks golden from here....
Scott Van Pelt: "Fuck I Gotta..."
Two nights ago, after being pranked by Howard Stern's crony, Van Pelt said "Hi, YouTube." Well, hi again. This time, fleeting internet fame is his because he let an f-bomb fly as SportsCenter headed to commercial....
Arrested Bobsledder Has Colorful, Checkered Past
American bobsledder Bill Schuffenhauer was arrested, after allegedly assaulting his fiancée. It's another sad episode in the life of a man who always seems to find trouble....
Alexander Ovechkin Loves, Shoves All His Fans
Hell hath no fury like a Russian hockey star who just got his butt handed to him by a group of feisty Canadians. Point a camera in his face and he'll have no trouble shoving you to the ground....
Russian Bobsledder A Little Too Pleased By Canadian Wipeout
The dirty unspoken secret of the Olympics is that for every frightening, bone-rattling, face-scraping wipeout, there's a thrilled athlete whose road to glory just got a little bit smoother. The trick is to not seem too thrilled about it....
Last Night's Winner: Canadian Pride
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Canadians who, for the first time ever, have a reason to feel good about hosting the Olympics. Chin up, gang! You're good at stuff too!...
This Would Never Have Happened If We Still Had Beepers
Patrick Beckert was an alternate for the 1000m, so when one skater went down injured, it might as well have been glory calling. But he didn't answer, because his cell phone was turned off. [Bild]...