van Page 140 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Free Mikey
The sea was angry that day, my friends. Like an old man returning soup at a deli....
You, Too, Can Vote For Rory
As is made plain and obvious around here every day, we don't have the most fundamental understanding of hockey. We love hockey, particularly in person, but with everything that has went on the last few years, it's difficult to keep up. We know, we apologize and we're trying....
This Time, We Refuse To Believe It's "Used"
So this is entertaining: Official MLB Auctions have discovered a sense of humor....
If They Had To, Most Athletes Could Shoot You Where You Stand
You know, we love sports. (News, we know.) But you know what would make us love sports more? If more players were armed....
We Say Replace Theismann With Borat Right Now
The Borat movie — Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan — is almost here, which pleases us greatly. We're kind of confounded by the release schedule, though. There was a premiere in Los Angeles on Monday (Defamer, of course, was there), and there was o...
We Have Ways Of Making Your Mascot Talk
Oh, those crazy Ivy Leaguers. What won't they do in the name of ribald gridiron revelry?...
Donovan McNabb Has A Weak Constitution
Amazingly, Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb did this before Buccaneers kicker Matt Bryant kicked a 62-yard field goal — with room to spare! — to beat his team yesterday....
When Baseball Players Are Asked: 'You Have Haramph Like My Friend, Can I Touch?'
Like many of you, we suspect, we cannot wait for the new Borat movie, Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan. Therefore, we present this old Borat clip, as he visits a Savannah Sand Gnats minor league baseball game, with predictable results. No matter how...
How Easy It Is To Switch Lyrics On Command
Our friends (and sisters in corporate bloggerhood) at Idolator, yesterday, took a brief stab at stupid theme songs for sports teams; we've covered this ground around these parts too, with the never-bested "Sweet Shaun Alexander."...
Cultural Oddsmaker: Who's Your Gay ESPN Sportscaster?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to tell him what you think....
This, This Is Why We Lose
So USA soccer "superstar" Landon Donovan was asked whether or not he thought he would be a better player if he was in Europe rather than the MLS. His response was curious....
Hugh Johnson Project - Update 2
Lee Corso's grandson appears to hate him. He had his grandson with him at the end when he did his picks. And he was trying to get him to say "hi" and wave (the kid is probably 6). And the kid looked miserable. Corso had to grab his arm and make it wave. - Josh...
Hugh Johnson Project - Update 1
• You know what I hate? "Oooo-EEE! Spendin' limit? Who cares? Not us, cuz them ain't our currrr-edit cards." That's what I hate....
Evander Holyfield Beats Up Insurance Salesman, Will Insist On Fighting Again
Bad news for Evander Holyfield. He won last night, which means his comeback is going to continue. After beating the hell out of Jeremy Bates last night, Holyfield says he wants a Top 10 fighter next....
Watch An Old Man Cheat Death ... LIVE On Fox!
Slow, public meltdowns are no fun to watch, not even for the notoriously nasty and morbid voyeurs of the Internets. Which is why we await tonight's Evander Holyfield fight with a sense approaching dread. The fight, in Dallas and broadcast live on Fox Sports Net, pits the 43-year-old former champ (...
Scott Van Pelt Has A Way With The Ladies
All told, we actually kind of like ESPN anchor Scott Van Pelt. He's still a knockoff of the tired "wacky" anchor, but he's not as obnoxious about it as he could be. He seems like a dopey, well-meaning fellow who is happy to be on television....
Today In The Premiership...
• Ruud Van Nistelrooy liked Germany so much that he wants to go back. Ruud wants his next season to be with Bayern Munich of the German Budesliga. Real Madrid had previously made a bid to acquire Van Niistelrooy, but it was rejected by Manchester United. I'm not ruling out the possibility that the...
Stop Him Before He's Punched Again
As you might have heard, Evander Holyfield — 43 years old, loser of his last three fights, in danger of, you know, dying in the ring — will return to fight Jeremy Bates in Dallas on August 18. The fight is billed as "the beginning of his quest to win his fifth heavyweight title," though when you're ...
Some Big Hockey Happenings This Weekend...
• The NHL entry draft went down yesterday, and it included a record 10 American players taken in the first round. This, of course, builds tremendous hope that one day the United States will have an international hockey team that will generate tremendous interest and hype, only to fall flat on their ...
Quite Frankly With Scott Van Pelt
We never quite know what to do with Scott Van Pelt. He seems like an intelligent enough guy and is smart-alecky without being overly, soul-crushingly obnoxious about it. But, man, those catchphrases. The guy is positively Berman-esque, minus the "You're with me, leather." We'll admit to cringing w...